Intolerance to uncertainity


#1

I wonder if someone else besides me started being obsessive and fearful after the big crash.
I’ll explain in details.
Before the crash, i was more easy going about things like dates, work, scheduling things, future…
After the crash, this happens continuously:

  • if a guy shows interest in me or if i become attracted by another guy, my mind becoe full of question and fears like “what if he likes me too and then i change my mind and i cannot get rid of him?” or “what if this guy sticks to me?” etc. etc.
  • if i think about looking for a job i start thinking “what if i get the job? i will start being afraid of losing my job!”. The result is that now i’m freaking scared of losing a job that i don’t even have, i’m afraid of looking for a job because i cannot tolerate the uncertainty!
  • i have serious problems scheduling things, i start feeling overwhelmed and asking things like “what if something else happen and this appointment must be erased? will then overlap with another appointment?”
  • or “how should i plan my future in order to avoid the anxiety that comes from the aforementioned questions? should i look for job in the public administration to feel safe?” and i never, never wanted to have that kind of job! before my crash i was an artist, i did not care that much about stability!

And so on…
It’s like an ocd, or an obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.
To be fair, i was a little neurotic even before finasteride but i was not this crazy.
Did this happen to someone else?


#2

Hi Go,

I have exactly the same kind of desorder…in my case, when I want to take an important decision I am not able to do it, like: To buy a flat; changing my job; leave my girlfriend…
Of course, in my case all of them are important decisions, but the degree of obsesion is incredible high, I cannot stop thinking about it, etc. And I am very nervious when the desition has to be taken.

I do think this is very related to the study on rats taking finasteride that shows that under stress their levels of ALLO increses above the limits, while normal rats have their ALLO levels under control.

Regards.


#3

hello Tomas and thank you for the answer.So, i’m not alone and this is some sort of relief, since i thought i’m just crazy…


#4

I had extreme OCD before I got pfs. When I crashed my OCD stopped, cause OCD is all about excess dopamine in some area of the brain. Its 100% neurotransmitter related. A brain disorder. People take SSRIs to lower their OCD!

Since I’m slowly recovering my OCD comes back along with my emotions and motivation.


#5

this is strange because contradicts my theory…
which other neruological symptoms did you get from fin?


#6

This is very, very interesting to me. I had and still have OCD to a bad degree. Now, with pfs I’ve observed something similar. When I have a series of days where I no longer feel suicidal, my OCD is extreme, mental and physical routines performed regularly. Then, when the suffering of pfs makes me want to be dead, my OCD is drastically reduced.


#8

I’ve noticed the same, I am much more lackadaisical now about certain things.


#9

When you feel suicidal you stop caring about the future, hence neuroticism goes down (I think neuroticism is a more accurate term than OCD). And vice versa.


#11

for those who noticed a big increase in obsessiveness and fear:

  • would you please describe your recurrent, obsessive fears? from which obsessive and recurring fears and images are you persecuted?
  • have you ever suffered from intrusive images?
  • And yet, does someone have exactly the same kind of fears i described?

This might help not only me but the whole community as well.
Thanks.


#12

What you describe reminds me about OCD, which i had before SSRI use. SSRI killed completly OCD and in the same time with emotions, sexuality and cognitive abilities. Some guys on PSSD forum reported return of OCD in windows of recovery.


#13

Hi @Go_Faster_Sonic

I also have the feeling that my thoughts are turning around in my head 24h/24h 7/7…
Even if i speak to people or when talking in a meeting i often catch myself that i think in parallel about how i am feeling myself or what others should think about what i am saying. Difficult to describe but very hard to handle.
I always was someone who could think very fast and was very smart in discussions in meetings an so. But now i have the impression that i can’t control my thoughts anymore, that my brain has difficulties in handling everything together or sorting things right.
When i ask people after a meeting or a conversation they tell me that i was just like always. While i had a terrible feeling inside me the whole time… Is this only in my head, i am getting mad??

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have the feeling that the stress feeling gets worse and worse. Feel my body under stress nearly the whole day now. I have the fear that this condition can make me realy very very sik, because beeing under stress non stop can not be good for the body on the long turn.


#14

I have the opposite. I almost feel labotomized. I used to have racing and creative thoughts. Now is blank unless I force myself to think. I used to have add and now I have no racing thoughts. I would like them back.


#15

It’s so strange to read here how different we are all affected. While on the other hand we also have things in common.
I am asking me sometimes if this is realy all done by finasteride, or was it only the trigger and now our body is so down that we got all these different sides. Why do we have these different reactions. I have the feeling that we can get all possible health problems that are existing on earth only from this one drug if i summarize all the posts here.
I can realy understand people who are not believing us, even doctors if they hear our storys. It’s simply unbelievable when you don’t go throuth this yourself, and even then it’s very difficult to believe…