I'm going to die

As soon as I crashed, my symptoms were only sexual. In the last few months I started to lose a lot of lean mass and my hair stopped growing. How is it possible that 5-htp has done all this for me ?! If I look at myself in the mirror I look like a terminally ill person: I have lost a lot of hair, I am extremely thin and have no strength, my dark circles are deeply black, the beard and body hair have stopped growing, my penis and mine testicles are getting smaller, I have symptoms of prostatitis. I can no longer live in this state. I’m praying every day for me to find peace somehow. I am also willing to accept to die, as long as I stop suffering.


Check out your pm please, it is so hard, i could just imagine. But stay hopeful, positive approaches are happening for us. Let’s wait for the Baylor first and see where we are at.

Accepting that I’m going to die if things don’t improve is the only comfort I’ve found.


If you are feeling this, I suggest you go for long walks without phone. Sometimes when things are bad, our minds go into neurotic loops / cycles which multiplies the negative effects of anxiety and depression.

Walking (preferably in nature) and meditation are the ways to combat this negative cycle IMO. And then when out of the cycle, light exercise to start. This approach has done wonders for my mind.


Dying is pointless. Yes, you don’t suffer, but you can’t do anything positive to help others.


One way of the other.

Religions recognised this thousands of years ago, from Asia to the Middle East. Find meaning. Meaning is about bearing your burden and doing the utmost you can even if suffering is immense. Find something positive to do. And enough of this ‘I am incapable of anything.’
You can talk, you can walk, you can move… if these conditions are met you have the potential to do good. You can help others.

Doing anything less that that is absolutely unacceptable under any ethical framework.
It is selfish to the extreme. So before you wail on in future about how hard things are, you need to carefully think about your words and your thoughts.

And by the by, I happen to be an agnostic.


Baylor will be yet another hole in the water … If there had been something interesting, something would have already leaked. I think he is making us wait so long, because they must find justification for 6 years of work without having understood anything …

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@Rb26dett your symptoms sound horrible, man. I’m sorry. Have you done TRT yet or tried anything like that out? If your symptoms are really this bad, i would personally consider trying it man. Don’t give up without at least trying TRT out of your symptoms are literally killing you as you say.

Forget Baylor for now man, but you gotta stop being a sitting duck. You need to take charge by getting your mental state in order and can’t wait for a study to do that. I don’t doubt that your symptoms are terrible but I know you can walk and meditate. Baby steps and fundamentals of wellbeing before a genetic study…

Every step i do, i worse… Every pound i lift, destroy my muscles… I don’t know what i can do…

Try to be positive do things to bring that around distraction techniques, mediation, etc awakening your other senses, as I’ve said before people with a terminal illness would swap with us in a heartbeat.

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I have the constant pressure of my family members who are always telling me that I should work and that it’s all in my head. My friends have forgotten me, now I can no longer go out and have fun and they think mine are excuses for not going out. My girlfriend is fantastic, but being next to a girl, without experiencing any kind of physical implementation, is further suffering.


I fail to see how torture and suffering are independent from one another.

Have you tried taking antidepressant medication? Yes, I know there’s significant risk for us PFS folk, but have you tried mirtazapine? It can be very effective at helping you sleep, especially at low doses.

I can relate I’ve lost my friends too, my wife left with my son and I’ve had to leave work all because of PFS, but I’m still in the fight even though I’ve also had the worst thoughts at times! You still have options and lots to live for! This disease gets us to focus on everything negative but you’ve got to try to break that cycle, it’s not easy at all, every step is like climbing a mountain but dig in my freind there’s lots of sound advice in this thread


Thanks @orthogs appreciate your help.
Medications/supplements cause severe reactions even at low doses. Hopefully this will improve over time.

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Bro, I totally understand you… My girlfriend does not give a fuck about what happens to me, she thinks the same shit, all in my head. The thing, is I have never stopped working, even in my worse states. Was pushing myself all along, even I achived something that not many could achieve in this condition… I was Chef whe PFS hit me, now I am Network Engineer. Still pushing myself throughout the day, in pain, sometimes brain fog too and fucked joints. Keep going ahead, no matter what bro!


I was a mechanic. One of the smartest. I’ve been stopped for almost a year and people still call me because they want to know if I’m back to work. Unfortunately, even giving up a bolt makes me worse. I can’t really work. I’m poor.


I cannot do physical job anymore, my joints are fucked, the right knee has got meniscus tear on top of that. One thing saves me at the moment and this is I am in the office, sitting and doing nothing, but still cannot chill when I am in pain. Hope you will get better and get on with the life once for all!

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Don’t take mirtazapine whatever you do. It causes pssd.

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Got proof? It’s not an SSRI.

Almost no documented cases of Remeron causing PSSD. So if it did… its even a rarer case then the rest of the shit around here.