I’m sorry for doing this, but my family and friends are all on holiday and I’ve got no one to turn to. I guess I just need someone to talk to.
I only took Saw Palmetto. A stupid OTC herb. It’s even difficult to convince myself that it’s somehow capable of destroying my life, let alone convincing others. It’s utterly unbelievable. Even those who actually concede I’m not delusional, are more inclined to believe it is my mind producing these symptoms. I can’t blame them.
I’m stuck and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave my family and friends behind. But, I’m slowly getting worse and worse and cannot continue much longer like this. I’m afraid I’ll soon be at a stage where ‘cannot continue’ will become ‘I want to die’. I try to calm my mind but it’s not really possible.
Physically, my genitals are wasting away. My beard is thinning. My hands are those of an old man. My life was hard enough already when my fiancée basically left me at the altar out of the blue. Now I have also become a castrated man. The severe depression which I have developed following these events and symptoms, is making me fatigued, anhedonic, and prone to sudden panic attacks and mental instability and mood swings. I am a burden to everyone around me.
It’s too much.
It’s been 1.5 years for me. Maybe there is still hope, but today I don’t see it.
What usually helps me getting through the day, is going for a light run, or playing boardgames with friends as to take my mind off things. Do you guys have any other coping strategies or messages of hope.
I must say I admire the strength of all long time sufferers here. You guys are true warriors.
PS If there’s anyone from Belgium and would like to meet up, drop a message.