I miss sex (another sob story I guess.)

Coping
#1

I know, another sob story. I dont like adding to the negativity here, but I don’t really have anyone else I can turn to about this.

It’s been little over a year since this has happened to me. I’m 28 now, but I feel like I could be either 8 or 88 regarding how I feel about my body and sex drive.

In a lot of ways I guess I’m starting to accept this condition, as much as it sucks, but I still really, really miss sex. I know its cliche to say but when you’re young and healthy it really is such an important part of life. And it’s not just about getting your rocks off either; its about developing intimacy, learning about yourself from another partner, and so on. The times I’ve had sex before this were such powerful and meaningful moments for me that they truly gave me strength to keep on going.

I mean, I’m sure everyone here can relate. It really is one of the most, well, humiliating things about this condition.

I was out at the shops today and I could see all these beautiful young girls who, in my previous life, I would’ve felt soo confident going up to and starting a conversation with, just to get to know them, know their thoughts, know their feelings, and so on. But now, I can barely look them in the face. I think one of them was even checking me out which made me feel kinda good, but it also made me feel bad because I just felt way too embarassed to even think about talking to her.

Like, I don’t know what the purpose of this post is. Maybe there isn’t one. I was so full of life and sexual passion and now I feel like an old, sexless man basically.

I don’t know what to say guys. You guys are troopers and at least we have people to relate to. But the pain still sucks. I would do anything to get my old body back but it seems so out of reach.

Take care everyone. I hope something works out from all this.

13 Likes
#3

There’s more to life than sex. Be kind and useful to others and you will find reward. Being needed is a big deal. Sex is important, and I too know how much I’m now missing, but it really isn’t everything.

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#4

I’m sure many asexuals would passionately disagree with that sentiment.

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#5

But what @Akosh97 said, is sadly the truth!

#6

Not a sob story at all imo, it’s legitimate venting and illustrates the reality of what we go through.

Sex is considered a primary necessity of life for a reason. This affects every aspect of life. Your sense of self-worth, identity, self-confidence. Masculinity and sexuality are culturally inseparable. From the ability to have decent intimate connections and relationships to having some relief every now and then even in your private space, from cracking jokes with your fellow men, everything is affected. Every day I’m confronted with the complete lack of libido I just feel like a freak. No morning erections, no spontaneous ones, no reaction to visual stimuli, nothing. It used to be the opposite and it’s driving me insane as well.

It’s taboo to talk about and nobody seems to give a shit. Doctors try to solve it with viagra or cialis as if we’re living inside some kind of cartoon reality where these drugs actually make people horny instead of just being the vasodilating drugs that they are.

If there’s even the slightest trace of stress or depression in your medical history they’ll just lump it on that and fling their arms up in the air, start blaming the victim that’s it’s all between their ears.

It’s completely impossible for someone with a functioning libido to imagine what it’s like not having it. Even during the times when people are not occupied in any way with anything sexual, their bodies are still more sensitive in some places. Like if literally anything came near your crotch or otherwise any touch would just feel different and way more intense.

It’s a very serious loss of quality of life that is easily ridiculed and underestimated by people who have no clue what it’s like.

/rant

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#7

Well, with asexuals the thing is that they’ve always been like that and are perfectly okay with it. With us our sexuality has been chemically taken away, so we know what we’re missing and what we’ve lost. Big difference.

You can disagree with me but I find it inconsiderate to come tell a suffering person that there’s more to life than sex when they just wanted to vent.

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#8

An asexual monich who dies as a virgin is a sexuall and hormon driven man. The zist for life, his energy, 3800 androgenic driven reactions are connected to his androgenic ability, with his sexuality.

The sexual intercourse is only one aspect of sexuality. For the evolution, the community, founding families, having childs, the personal feeling the most important.

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#9

I almost don’t remember what sex is, and after so many years, find myself with very little desire for it. I do miss the human connection that did come with sex, and now miss that more. The world is so cold without passion.

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#10

This x1000. While I do miss sex, not being able to truly laugh is even worse.

I used to be real funny because of my quick wits and would daily laugh so much my stomach hurt. Now a days it’s only fake laughter…

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#11

This is what I think. In my age I would like to get old with a lovely partner in a deep relationship. But without sex I lost my partner and I have no chance to get a new partner.
Without drive and a sexy character I have no chance to meet new friends. So without sex and drive you’ll stay at home allone.

Lonleynes and a destroyed social life is a finasteride site effect too.

#13

@maxim117
May I offer some advice, from an old guy who enjoyed daily intercourse until PFS destroyed my cock three years ago?

Go ahead and speak to, and charm, one of the young ladies you spoke of. Take her home, take her to bed. Then, give her oral pleasure that curls her toes. Don’t stop until she cries “Uncle”!

Eventually she may ask for intercourse. Simply explain that you’re recovering from a medicinal side effect that temporarily prevents that. Then, use all your skills to drive her crazy. (Maybe discuss this upfront, but be energetic about your desire to fulfill her needs! )

If you are a man who values your lady’s pleasure above your own, she may spread the word and keep you happily busy with her friends. Men like that may be an elusive unicorn!

(Maybe, if God smiles upon you, all this activity will awaken your member. One can dream, right?)

My point being, while your ability to f#@k may be sidelined, your enjoyment of sex and a woman’s body need not end!

Think positive! Jim

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#14

Sorry, my apologies. There’s nothing more to life than sex.

#15

Well said, man. I had a history of stress after a breakup, and of course, my shrunken lifeless genitals were attributed to that somehow…

I don’t talk about it anymore because I can’t stand the reactions. “You need to accept.” “Let go what you can’t control.” “The mind is very powerful.” “It’s normal to feel no libido when you’re depressed.” “But the doctors didn’t find anything.” “Sometimes we see things that aren’t there.”

Nobody fucking understands what it’s like. They think it’s just like not being in the mood… My sexuality has been completely destroyed and everyone’s like “there are more important things”. How fucking convenient for you to say with your healthy functioning libido. “You need to solve your depression first.” How the fuck am I supposed to fix it when my shrivelled deformed numb lifeless dick, no libido and severe ED is what’s making me depressed in the first place.

Fuck this shit. I’m 33. I’m not living my life like this. I’m trying to hold on like everyone else here, but honestly, I don’t have much resilience left.

I don’t want to wake up like this anymore, and the day after again, and again, and again. It just never stops.

Criminal how long we have been left for dead by the medical community.

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#16

This actually made me lol.

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#17

Not my point good sir.

Just wanted to point out that everyone’s symptoms are valid and they can vent if they like. In a forum like this it should be allowed without someone coming in and telling them to get over it.

I have total anhedonia so I know that there are absolutely more important things to life than just the act of sex. Like, you know, emotions. But like I said in the beginning, not my point.

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#18

My apologies, continue the venting if it helps you.

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#19

Thank you so much for your permission.

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#20

When I try to remember, I miss the feeling of extacy, and more importantly, those moments of insane passion for your woman. The powerful and meaningful moments, as maxim117 called it.

I don’t get it. If you’re anything like me, you still love looking at beautiful girls. Perhaps I don’t get quite as excited because I don’t feel anything down there. But I still fucking LOVE beautiful women!! (Especially if I haven’t seen any in a while, and if I haven’t had any sort of release in a while.)

I appreciate the advice, but here’s the thing. I don’t know about you guys, but my appetite to go down on someone is largely gone together with my libido. I have occasional mornings where I’m in the mood (for a moment), but within a minute the pleasurable sensation in my genitals, and therefore my erection and desire to go down on her, all disappear together. Like, I’m down on her and I go from excited to bored in a minute, and I suspect it’s the same for everyone.
I guess it’s good advice for someone who feels ashamed even talking to women, a way to get validation and his self worth back.

I was recently dating a girl who loves hugs, even desperately wanted to be held. To my surprise I really enjoyed doing that for her, it’s amazing how much she got out of it, and how much I got out of it (similar to how great it used to feel to drive a girl nuts in the bedroom). Okay, it’s not as powerful as sex for us men, but it’s still a great way to intimacy.

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#21

We all lost our manhood. Stolen lifes, stolen sexuality, destroyed the most intimate of a human. And pharma lobby new it from the beginning.

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