I hate myself man!

Symptoms
#1

So today I was with a girl that is way above my league and I couldn’t get it up. I hate myself so much man. It’s unbeliavable. How can this happen? I’m 25 MAN! When I was 15 I could only dream of being with a girl like this, and now that it happens i can’t get it up xD!. Gg man fuck this shit. I’ve started to exercise because I’m weak like a girl, and also to see if my pf muscles strengthen a bit. But I’m feeling fkn hopeless. I;;m so mad. I AHVE THE FUNCTION OF A 80 YR OLD GRANDPA!! Libido, erections, orgasms, all shit.

It wasn’t that bad 1 year post pfs!! I still had OK erections, glans never inflated again after fin but erections were at least ok. Orgasms kinda alright as well!! But now, everything is fucked!!! Completely fucked. Could it be that masturbating way less frequetenyl and much much less intensity fucked me up as well? I’m gonna try to edge furiously every day like I used to do pre fin, because pre fin I masturbated every day very intensely for 30 minutes or more! So maybe my pf muscles and everything down there got weak because after getting pre E I felt like I couldn’t edge anymore so I stopped masturbating. I’ve been masturbating maybe around 10 minutes a week, compared to 200+ minutes before!! So I’m doing some 15 min edging sessions and if I focus and dont think about anything sexual it seems like I can masturbate without cumming for that long!! But with my fkn 50% erection, I feel like it’s completely useless! Like the muscles aren’t even getting ‘trained’ or whatever you call it. What the hell do I do? I don’t want to start popping cialis every day just to develop resistance to it. :(:frowning:

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#2

Sorry man that sucks. This disease is so cruel. Try to stay strong. Don’t beat yourself up too much. None of this is our fault. We just got dealt a really bad hands and are going to have to pull ourselves out of it.

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#3

I’m so sorry brother unfortunately I do know the feeling
We all do

And I know about your situation and yes it can make you feel absolutely awful

All you can do is say “such is life” and brush it off and move forward

It happens all the time and unfortunately for you, you have a great excuse and it’s not your fault.
It’s this poison that was pushed on us

I completely understand your frustration and anger towards yourself but it won’t help a thing except make it worse.

Stay strong it’ll get better

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#4

Don’t hate yourself, man. You’ve done nothing to deserve hatred. You can hate what happened to you, it objectively sucks, but don’t internalize what happened to you makes you bad or unlovable.

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#5

Thank you all for the very kind replies. I’m not giving up anytime soon. And I also realized that after years waiting and things only getting worse for me, I really wanna be a part of this community and contribute as much as I can and always stay positive.

I’m not sure what I can do to contribute, I’m trying to do the survey but it says the page doesn’t exist. I’m earning some little money from work I got done in january which is only enough to pay the bills for now, but as soon as I start grinding again I should have spare $50 to make my first donation. I don’t want to get caught up with overthinking whether it’s worth to donate or not, to contribute or not, and if the research will be out in a timeline that is relevant for me. I don’t care about any of that. I just wanna contribute and also do everything I can to heal from this with my own actions. Unfortunately, this shit is so cursed, that people trying to get better end up getting worse. But I can’t be passive about this anymore. Just watching my dick become more lifeless with every passing day. I have to try something even if it means risk.

Thanks again for your replies, stay strong and wish you all the best

5 Likes
#6

I’m right there with you. 100%. My negativity is all pointed at the doctors who suggested and encouraged me to keep taking this. The drug manufacturers who pretend it doesn’t do this, and the FDA for doing nothing. My mistake was trusting them. Now all I can do is move forward with the body I’ve got. Presumably there are happy days in our futures.

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#7

What shall I say.

The pharma representative leaves the room, doctor gives me a muster package. I changed the urologist years before because he said there was a medication but he wouldn’t give it to me. A honest man, not giving poison to his patients. I never asked him and changed to the actual backdoor frickler, who gives medication without warning.

Put it in a sideboard, danger passed by. Having a psycho therapist could talk about this. But has been toxic therapist no moderation of potential selfharming tendencies or a problem relationship. Nothing.

Half a year later l got emotional stress from a relationship I never talked about with the toxic therapist and started the poison cycle. Read the gaslighting leaflat, thought if ED can hold on after quitting, “Ok two weeks”, never thought for 10 years like the finasteride generica resellers wrote in a red hand letter warning letter for the doctors to prohibit sues. Doctors don’t infor their patients.

Even getting strange anomalies like hectic hypersexuallity with shrunken cock and watery seemen, I ignored. Problems with my huge cock breaking down sitting in front of the pc, I ignored. Even getting a mini wiener and brainfog after six weeks, I ignored. Than I crashed while the reunion of the relationship.

Thats my trauma. Not any one over the entire world got it more stupid than I did. So you can forgive yourselves and go on living. You allways know, there have been a bigger ideot then you.

OK, I’m full with rage and anger. The fucking doctor died on Covid, some fucking weeks after the poison prescription. The pharma cartels lie and deny, their medical mainstream rent … deny and call us depressed. Hims, keeps, Myspring marketing the shit more agressive than ever.

But there are many fighters among us, who fight back with awarness campains and research initiatives to get our rights back and to get a cure.

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