I don't know how long I can keep going...

Hi, I am looking for some support, I’ll try to make it short since I’m struggling a lot with cognition but I am an 18 year old female who got PSSD when I was 17. I was drugged by force at age 14, I was super against the drugs but I was threatened and coerced by psychiatrist, I never needed that, all I needed was therapy and a better environment. SSRIs did nothing only gave me side effects and damaged me. I didn’t even had depression, I had some anxiety due to trauma and dysfunctional environment.

I had always been a very passionate, smart and happy person before this, but now I am bedrriden, I have severe anhedonia, fatigue and also no sexuality (I could live with no sex but the anhedonia and fatigue are unbearable)

I have severe trauma due to being harmed by something I didn’t even wanted to take, I am extremely disabled, went from very a straight A student and athlete to bedridden and suicidal. I’m only 18. I have very strong anger as well at psychiatrist and my parents. I don’t know how to cope anymore. I haven’t gotten better. the anhedonia is so strong and I’m very suicidal. I lost it all. The grief of what I lost is unbearable.

I don’t want to die cause I don’t want to do this to my family but I am in need of help. I have seen therapist but they are useless cause they refuse to acknowledge that my condition is iatrogenic, they think I’m just “depressed”.

I really don’t know how to cope with having no feelings. I really can’t, no cognitive abilities, no energy, no vitality, no life… my body feels like a bunch of bio-waste.

The fact that there’s no cure or treatment, almost no Dr. believes in this, and the symptoms, makes me so hopeless…

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You have my absolute sympathies. Anhedonia is brutal. Have you tried bupropion?