I can't get any work done

General Discussion
#1

I can’t get any work done.

Due to profound anhedonia, my mind resists any effortful action. It is extremely hard to make myself do even the easiest tasks, let alone do something difficult and complex. Any effort to force my attention is met with debilitating head pressure and brain fog.

How many of you are able to keep your job or stay in school? I want to hear how you do it - what keeps you going? Is this even possible?

I am way on my way of losing the last things I have managed to hold on to in life since I got PFS 3.5 years ago.

This must be the most painful way to die. By suicide, yes, but first losing one by one with great suffering all the things that makes life possible - and by all apparent external appearances, due to one’s own profound personal failure.

Has a more hellish type of torture ever been devised?

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#2

I’m only able to hold my job because I have no other option but to be disabled AND homeless. Everyday is a struggle though

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#3

I feel you. I don’t have much advice to give other than keep on keeping on. I do the bare minimum to get by. Force yourself as much as possible. People don’t understand it’s not just like a lazy I can’t be bothered feeling rather than the whole pathway in my brain that facilitates motivation is gone. So debilitating.

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#4

I guess the only advice from me would be to play to your advantages. In your current state, is your body able to put on muscle or lose fat? If yes to either, I’d say these are huge things to capitalize on. That was always my go-to when I wanted to clear my head or just escape for a bit. Exercise helps all systems and brain pathways. However, it seems like a lot of us PFS guys have physical issues that prevent us from responding to exercise properly.

As for staying in school or work, I’m personally taking a medical leave from my graduate program to go stay at my mom’s place to try and get some improvement. I’m leaving a very comfortable apartment and financial security (student loans) to go stay at her place which doesn’t have a septic system or central heating/air. But desperate times call for desperate measures lol. Atleast there i’ll be able to fast, have access to a sauna, and try to do things to stimulate healing.

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#5

I wear a mask and show only my bright side to my family and friends.

How long will this thing last? I’m getting tired.

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#6

I used to feel way more debilitated than I do now. I felt like I had anxiety that was impossible to reduce. Work during this time was really exhausting but I just dealt with it while having occasional breakdowns in private. It def get easier with time. 3.5 years seems like forever but its still fairly young in the healing process IMO. During that time, I felt absolutely paralyzed by stress at times. I no longer feel that way. I do think that masturbation added to the stress though. There is definitely a major brain related component to all this. How often do you whack off? Maybe try laying off it for a while?

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#7

I also believe exercise can help and I have been trying my best to do it. Unfortunately it is a race against time to get any positive effects from it before things become unsalvageable in my life and so far I have been losing the race as either I have had too much back pain to do it or I have gotten injured.

I went running 10 times this winter, including one time at -20 C, and I have been trying to ramp up the intensity. I have been a runner all my life before PFS so it was weird that twice I got different foot injuries and had to rest for many weeks. And one time I got extreme back pain and had to rest for 3 weeks. So far things have not worked according to plan but I haven’t given up on it yet.

Joint pain is separate as it is in relative remission due to transdermal DHT but it is something I have to carefully watch out for as well. Perhaps all these things are related. Do zombies have problems with their skeletons falling apart? There must be something about not having a soul that just can’t keep the bones together.

#8

Read Sugarhouse’s post for a bit of hope fuel. He’d been struggling with PFS, fatigue and insomnia and was able to achieve a lot. I’ve been disabled since taking the pill two years ago here. I have a background of extreme ADHD so the PFS is like a nail in the coffin. I can’t really take care of myself at all. So I am also headed toward homelessness. If my parents get covid-19, it’s over for me. My dad is a pensioner in the extremely invulnerable demographic and our family relies on him.

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#9

I think exercise is crucial as your thread suggests, even if it’s like pulling teeth assuming if you’re still physically able. I was doing much better when my joints allowed me to run, but I can’t run anymore because I’ve started developing intense joint pain, especially in the hips. Joint health is really is our weakest link. Elliptical machine is a viable, low-impact alternative though but it’s much harder to get into rhythm with that. Going to the gym right now is a terrible idea though. If I had the money, I’d invest in a Peloton or something.

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#10

I think laziness is just a myth. It’s folk psychology.

#11

I got disability for cognitive impairment caused by adverse reaction to finasteride and isotretinoin.

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