I can't forgive me taking the poison pills

I could arrange my self with the new situation. Living a good Livestyle. Making the best of the situation. Try to life a good live.

But I fucking can’t accept that I’m in.
Since half a year I have suffered this shit, but I feel in a total other live. I’m not the one who crashed with the stunning fiancee and lost his entire future as a patchwork family for this weird self harming reaction with starting a dangerous treatment for nothing. Without any medical need.

Just pre criminal behavior of a doctor. Giving me a poison as pharma muster package just to try, with out any information.
There have been already a Red Hand Letter to the doctors in Germany, to inform the patients about the horrible longtime lasting siteeffects. I think about informing Germany’s biggest newspaper the BILD about this incredible fanal.
Urologist died on COVID. But the doctor’s society still alive.

In my imagination I’m still a healthy man in his best years. It’s February this year again and I threw the ugly fin pills out of the window. I’m not castrated, lobotomized, impotent and physical damaged now.

It is someone else. I life someone others fucking live. It’s not mine. I’m in a nightmare and I’ll wake up soon in February of this year again for throw the poison out of the window.

Why I took this poison without checking the internet. The package leaflet was horrible. Why I took this pill out as a self harming psychotic reaction of stress in a relationship. I can’t forgive me.

The benign prostatic hyperplasia medication Finasterid was given to me much to early. And after I denied, because of a sexual active relationship, given to me as a pharma muster package just to try.

I didn’t even know what medication it was.
I didn’t ask him, why now he gave me the medication because he had sayed: “OK than better not” before. I never checked the Internet. Even before taking it I argued not about the horrible package leaflet.

I have to read all the other cases here, who sucked Propetia for years never known, what a poison it was and more all who were informed and ignored it, to learn to forgive me. It was such a connect of mistakes that I can t forgive me, to cut up my own cock, by psychotic self harming.

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