Well I am a virgin and since I have pfs, I feel like I will never know what %100 sex feels like. I am getting erection and can masturbate but this idea never goes away “it could be more pleasurable and I killed this just because of some terrible drug” I always feel angry about it. And I feel like my life is not worth living anymore.
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Hi. I’m also in the same boat as you; erections and masturbating are fine, but the sensations are diminished. I often, too well, think about if it could be more pleasurable, and it really does take a toll on you mentally the more you throw yourself down that hole.
My advice to you is to start learning to forgive yourself. To be fair, I haven’t completely done this yet myself, but I’m starting in the process and it really does help you cope. Please realize that I completely feel what you’re going through, but also understand that sex is not solely about pleasure. It’s about being intimate with the one you love. There’s a significant difference between masturbation and sex; and if you can at least feel some physical pleasure, then I’d say it’s definitely not worth killing your mental health over.
I don’t know how you define being a virgin, I define it as intercourse, and while I do have outercourse with my girlfriend, I can clearly see the distinction between self-pleasure and sex. Trust me, I understand the constant thoughts:
- What would it be like if I didn’t take Propecia?
- I’m afraid it won’t feel like anything.
- What if I can’t please myself during sex?
- What if I lose interest in her?
Please seek professional therapy and have a good group of friends to talk to. It’s not healthy that you are showing off your anger and frustration alone in the hopes of someone posting on this forum thread. Mental health is MORE important than physical problems; the fundamental concept of a life comes from the mind and not the body.
I already seek therapy. But I have no friends and even if I had I wouldn’t talk with them about this.
my main problem is even if I fully recover I will never be ablo to know that since I am a virgin.
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Self-pleasure is typically more pleasurable than with a partner from my experience unless your significant other is highly experienced. If you do get full sensation back (via masturbation) and your mental health is good, then I guarantee that sex will be what it should be. Google how porn affects your mentality, and the effects of death-grip syndrome.
I believe you’re overthinking this a bit. Personally, I naturally feel almost nothing (30% sensitivity) when I perform because of adrenaline. It’s almost the same like that now, except pleasure is less, of course.
If you keep thinking to yourself about what it would or could be, then it won’t do you any good. The only result of that is mental degradation, which in turn, will affect your sex life since 70% of sex is mental/emotional.
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Is research going to lead to a treatment that will bring back sensations or at least that’s what I thought
So if I can masturabate like I did before finans, my sex will be what is supposed to be wthout pfs?
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Yes and no. Like I said, you need to be mentally healthy to perform as well. If you can have the same pleasure from masturbation as you did before and you don’t worry about your dick anymore (let’s say years after having recovered), then sex will be what it should be.
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These days with porn and everyone selling great sex as this wonderful new discovery of the modern world and blah blah blah making sex out to be the be all end all, as someone probably a couple decades older who had a great sex life before his affliction, that’s largely all just a bunch of bullshit. Great sex is great for like a few minutes or whatever. It’s really just the carrot. What really matters are your achievements in life, relationships, and family. If you can have sex but don’t enjoy it you might miss out on the carrot but the carrot isn’t where the satisfaction is. The satisfaction is in everything else. I know it sounds cliche and I suppose it is, but actually it’s true. The last thing in the world I care about now is my personal enjoyment of sex.
The issue with PFS is that it makes some people unable to have sex at all, which is unacceptable to nearly any potential partner that would generally meet their standards for dating and starting a family with. Maybe not in theory. In theory, you can just lower your expectations. However, in practice, I haven’t actually found that to be possible.
Are you unable to have sex at all? Would you be able to achieve an erection with Viagra/Cialis? If you can, then I really dont understand your stance on all of this. I mean even if you were completely incapable of having sex, you could still potentially find a partner, which seems to be your main concern as far as I understand.
I can have sex fine by taking Viagra but I don’t feel anything and girls can quickly tell. Awkward for everyone. Best avoided. Learned this the hard way over many years of false hope.
I dont think thats true at all, you could easily fake it and the girl wouldnt be able to tell. Just like many girls fake having an orgasm. And regardless, as long as you can stay hard, shes gonna be satisfied. You said you dont really care about satisfying yourself, so I really dont see the problem. Sounds more like youre making excuses because you cant accept being anything less than what you were prior to taking isotretinoin. And thats something thats way too common in these communities, some people dont accept anything less than a full reversal or whatever, even when they could be functional enough to live a relatively normal life with their issues rather than spending every minute of the day on these forums.
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I didn’t get what lowering exceptation mean. I can probably have sex if I try since I can masturbate. But I wouldn’t have sex without marriage.
You have a point that it’s important to accept loss and move forward rather than holding out for something unrealistic. However, I think you do underestimate feminine and general human empathy and ability to sense what others actually feel. It should be needless to say that men can’t fake orgasm, not to mention arousal. Yeah maybe they could take pills and pretend to want to fuck their wives every night but it’s not as if doing that indefinitely is easy and it’s not as if women can’t pick up on the fact that your desire is either absent or less than entirely genuine. They can tell. If passion was easy to fake then everyone would be a passionate lover.
Point taken on that we don’t sit and wait for perfection. We cut the garment with the cloth we have. I’d only argue that it’s a lot harder than it sounds, especially for a guy.
@vkg1, me and you are often at loggerheads when it comes to points of view but I entirely agree with this.