I am exhausted. I am ready to die

PAS man, you’re so young and have so much time. I know it’s unbearable but I absolutely swear to you that if you just try to step away from this stuff for a bit as much as you can, your mood will improve enough to be able to get into something else for a while. If you can just get into some other thing and make that a project I promise you’ll feel much better and eventually we are going to get a cure. Most people throw away their twenties and even thirties anyway. The fact that we have gone through this gives us a huge advantage over other people in all other areas of life. It makes men out of us and gives us a much deeper and more sophisticated perspective and outlook on life. I know it sounds like bullshit but I literally think this can overall be beneficial in the long run. Remember that most people just watch movies, play video games, kill time on social media and all that crap until they wake up one day when they are 35 and realize they are trapped, like a slow boa constrictor had gradually wrapped around them without them knowing. We are fighting the snake now and we’re going to kill it.

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@PAS
I am a PSSD sufferer from 20 yrs old. now I am 32. I have no libido. I don’t feel love and intimacy. and I had various physical issues. You are from India right. I can clearly say that suffering comes from thoughts what you are thinking. you always compare your now with your past self and other peoples lives. Think about future and you worry. This is endless cycle which is very hard to brake. you can’t brake this by taking medicine. You need to understand the mind in deep. You can do it by studying Buddhism. Thats what worked for me. Day by day Buddhist teaching lifted by anxiety and then I begin to feel some happiness. Thats what we all need. Feeling happy.I know you are currently in a hell because what you are currently feeling at the moment. It will drastically change once your mood begin to uplift. Now I have a girl friend. She loves me. but I don’t feel much love for her sexually. But I feel something sexually when I near her. But I think I can love her like I love my mother. You need to find a caring girl then she can support you. You can live happily with what you have left once you build that confidence with uplifted mood. So do not act on your current feelings.

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So am I.
No answer, no hope.
Every moment of life is a pain.
I ask God to kill me.

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Guys we need all of you to stick around and get through this with us. Think about how amazing it is going to be for all of us as we lift the mystery, figure out what this thing is, start treating it, and become one again all together. We’re going to be the happiest and most life-appreciating people there are.

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Axolotl, thank you man.
If you and I were locked in a room, i would break your ribs.
Because i would hug you so hard.

@vkg1
I promise you man I have tried whatever is in my power. Im tired of the palliative care.

@dann888
It breaks my heart to read this man. I promise you I have tried the positive mindset again and again. How long do we fake it, its not improving.

To everybody reading this,
Its just… Overwhelming. To see all of you come together for the sake of a person. And to see all of you good hearted people suffering so much. I repeat what I said in the opening post, none of you deserve this. Such good people. I am crying.

I ll write something detailed later.

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I dont what to say apart from the fact that I am right here with you brother

I have been training heavily for the 3rd time this time.
I reached a 100 kg 5x3 deadlift in a month after starting
I have tried resistance training and I have tried hiit too.
It makes me worse.

I have approached a yoga guru here in its homeland of India itself. He created a personalized regimen for me which took an hour to complete, everyday.
It didnt do anything. Meditation will not cure this man, its palliative care.

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I cannot argue with you thus far. I don’t believe anything can cure this tbh, but it can be managed to a degree. In terms of weights, meditation, green juices, mindset… it hasn’t cured me or even brought me to an “acceptable” level, but it certainly has helped.

Based on experience so far, If I had to guess what my symptoms would when doing nothing vs (meditation, diet, exercise, mindset)…

“10” is before becoming ill

Libido 1 (3)
Mood 2 (5-6)
Morning wood 1 (3)

Clearly we have done collateral damage, but trying some things is better than doing nothing.

Also, meditation and exercise take months of dedication

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I think exercise needs to be maintained for at least 12 - 18 months, with progressive increase in load, to show its effects - if there are to be any. I don’t think we can conclude it is not working in any period shorter than that.

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I started from the last week of September. Im still doing it.
I am following the GZCLP program, you can check it out.

I have always controlled my diet well, even when I wasnt sick.
There hasn’t been a spark of improvement.

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How are you doing now man? This thread brought tears to my eyes, I feel so sorry for you.

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am I going to be ok?!

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Thank you for caring man. I hope you are doing fine.

Hey bro, I know it has nothing to do with the solution of what we suffer but it helped me a lot with my sadness. I hope it helps you.

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Man, if i were you i would start a serious hormone treatment or pal’s high dose Proviron protocol. Regarding the many posts from here, Proviron seems really safe too. (I am currently on it). If there is no way to get yourself worse than this, why you are still wasting your time? Sadly, meditation and whatnot won’t cure your severe PAS. I think you are just wasting your time not trying stuff out. Hope this helps you. There must be Proviron on India pharmacies. It is only banned in US.

(As for the forum rules goes, do your own research and decisions about this, it may affect you badly.)

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Keep hard bro keep hard

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Thank you bro, I tried procuring proviron in the city where I work and could have got it probably but lockdown started around that time.
Now I am at my homeplace and dont know any contacts that can help. Maybe I ll need to hit up some gym coaches.

In the meantime, i found out i am severely deficient in vitamin d (15 nmol/L. Reference range 75 to 225) and am taking supplements (todays the 3rd week) but I am not sure how much it will help.

It feels really bad to miss out on life.
Dont know if I can mix proviron and vitamin d ( not becaise of dietary complicaitions, because it will be difficult to find out which chemical is causing what effect).

But if I wait for my vitamin d course to finish, thats a minimum of 3 months of more living like this.

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Thank you to everyone on this forum, just for caring.

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Bro you are OK?

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I didnt mean it in tone of finality. People here are suffering so much, the solidarity is something good to see.

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