Dont want to smoke pot ive been sober for 2 years. I want a legitimate cure. Not gonna become a pot head to see if I get minimal benefits. Im so fed up with this shit.
Ok I have pretty much given up hope of any natural recovery. Im getting worse instead of better. I will reluctantly remain alive for the slightest hope that a half ass remedy or even cure will come along. Other than that im done with expecting good things. My fucking efforts in the gym habe been insane. While I feel great in the gym, my body still returns to shit. Penis is even worse after hard workouts. Extreme weightlifting and running yet I have a huge pot belly, small upper body and numb shrunk genitals. My head feels like its gonna explode with anger sometimes. But ill keep living this pathetic fucking existence for a sliver of a fucking hooe for a cure. If and when I kill myself, atleast I wont worry about any after life. This experience has proven to me beyond all doubt that there is no god. We have no soul. We are just chemicals. As ive seen, what I thought was my personality and soul, has been taken away by a drug. The violent, absurd, heinous condition this drug has inflicted onmmy body has made me a cold hearted, bitter, angry human. Not even a human. Just waiting like a zombie for a cure or for death. Fuck the world fuck religion fuck this drug fuck my idiot self for taking it. Fuck it all.
If we are just chemicals and they took it all, why you dont take your life? Because you still scare or worrying about your family. So, thats the spirit.
The “Soul” is fucking neurotransmitters functioning properly. Period. Life I believe at its core is meaningless. If youre lucky to be healthy and happy, you can make a good life. The universe doesnt care if you get fucked over. What makes me mad is that we have evolved for millions of years to be alive at this time and experience this quality of life. We didn’t evolve to tolerate fucking finasteride. Thus the opportunity to experience life in thid age has been stolen. Probably will die unhappy and sick. Will have had 23 good years. Thats it for me. Will die and never walk the earth again. Missed the chance for experiencing happiness. For a wife, kids, love, companionship, health, wellbeing. All ripped away. My birthright stolen by a cosmetic pill which I only took for 9 fucking days. Gonna stop as im getting very angry here. Words just cant express my homicidal and suicidal rage that I have right now. Seriously hope no one fucks with me the next few days.
I can see how this would totally mess with your sense of reality. It has mine as well. What I don’t understand are the few moments where I feel reconnected. I notice it at times of low anxiety. My vision is good, no fog, actually make jokes ect. If I think about how messed up I am now it drives me crazy. I got dry body from this. I can’t take or do anything that makes that worse. I lost pleasurable sensation all over my body. WTF is that?