I am in deep despair today. How do you guys keep this up for years? Insomnia, fatigue, Numb junk, poor concentration, bad digestion, anxiety, DEPRESSION! I want out but at the same time I don’t. I want to feel normal again. I would settle for some kind of fake feeling of happiness even. I have a lot to be thankful for but I feel useless. I cant see a future where these symptoms become manageable or better. How do you guys find the strength to keep going?
It’s very very difficult to comprehend and there is not a day goes by when I don’t contemplate suicide
I have all the symptoms you mention too, depression, shrunken numb penis, poor sleep etc
I’ve been off the poison for 18 months now!
Living every day is like a living nightmare
It’s not living, it’s existing
You are in very early stages of your suffering and only two months post drug, please give your body time to recover, you may find your symptoms will improve over time. Just bear with it and you might get lucky. It’s a waiting game, I’m ruined for life!
I’m not sure how much longer I can do this. I am morning my own death. It just hasn’t happened all the way yet.
Yea I really don’t have much left. Muscles wasting, looks went to shit, cold numb penis, my arms and hands are annoyingly cold and frail. All manliness is gone. Hair looks ridiculously dry and thick. Hollow eyes. I keep holding on as if it’s the right thing to.do for my future and family. I went through a period of feeling much better. Now at two years off, I’m just as bad as after I crashed even worse actually. Except brain fog is gone. But my body is shit. Wasted life. No marriage or love for me. Just hoarding in my room waiting for death.
I can see I will kill myself soon. When 99 percent of my day is in despair, the point of living is over. There is no reason to prolong suffering. No reason at all. I won’t sit around and watch myself deteriorate.
Jesus Christ we are slowly dying. I think about killing myself every single day most of the day.
GODDAMN IT MERCK YOU ARE FUCKING KILLING PEOPLE!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT FUCKING CARE?!?!
I am so sick of this shit. Somebody please fucking help us…
Our only hope is the PFS foundation
Please take part in the studies so that it’s on record you have PFS should you take your life which I hope you don’t, at least it can be made official you/we have/had PFS
To much misery without support…
The worst part is the people around me believe I will get better. In some moments I really want to believe it. Until my eyes bug me, or when I try to take a shit, or have sex and have a really difficult time completing due to sensation loss, or the night comes and I only sleep for a shitty few hours without drugs. I had a great life before this. I never in a million years thought I would get prescribed a drug from a doctor that would kill me in such an insidious way. The medical community gets to blow me off as a crazy person.
Sorry mcibofh, my last post wasn’t exactly inspiring nor did it address your question. There are many people here who state they improved significantly within a year or two. They may not be “cured,” but they can function in life. Some people have only sexual symptoms, and while that sucks balls, they can still work, read a fucking book, and enjoy family (not saying the sexual symptoms aren’t bad; just giving an example). You are still early on. There is a chance you will get to a point where it is livable. And if you are really lucky, you’ll be one of those guys that slowly improves no matter what you do.
Tiger, I am not eligible for the BWH study; still waiting on Baylor.
They put ed on the leaflet but not numbness. I don’t have ed. How can we not sue for this shit. I was never warned of this or dry eyes ect.
I was told I had to wait a few more months to go to the study. The focus is on Ed. This problem is so complex I fear they will never be able to help.
they dont put on the leaflet NEUROLOGİCAL DAMAGE. FUCKİNG GODLESS MOTHERFUCKERS.
Anyone know of a single person that recovered their natural sleep? Or do you all use some sort of meds?
15 mg remeron
Me, i recovered from insomnia.
I have little motivation to get out and succeed. The whole freaking idea of life is to fall in love, work hard and support your family. Wtf the basic motivation to live and be successful is taken from me. I used to have drive and passion like I was working towards something…now i feel like im just working to not be homeless. 25 yrs old, educated, great job, whole life ahead of me. Life couldve been great im so angry and so tired of wishing this would go away. I had hope that it will get better but at 2 yrs off my body has proven that it wont get any better. Im not gonna return here in 6 or 10 years posting the same shit. Im gonna either recover soon or I WILL kill myself.
Imagine you have an awesome wife, 2 great young kids, a great job ect. People that love and depend on you 24/7. You foolishly take this dam drug because you just wanted to keep some hair. Your Dr. says its fine its FDA approved, he prescribe to others no issues. You take it for a few days and bam all fucking hell breaks loose on you. My family needs me and now I am totally fucked up. Its not any easier trust me. Imagine having 2 little children that don’t understand why daddy is sick all the time and can’t play with them like he did. Its heart breaking. They all think I will eventually get better. I can hardly imagine getting worse but the prognosis is not looking good. I want to be their dad at full capacity and it looks like that is never going to happen now. I am tormented constantly by this and I have to suppress it and push myself to keep going. If I killed myself they would be scarred for life. I can’t do that to them. In the mean time I constantly suffer in many ways.
I would be grateful if sexual/physical sides atleast improves with time. It seems to be the opposite. That is what is destroying my will to live.
Drug isnt killing us, it forces to kill ourselves.
Life could not be any goddamn worse right now. Fucking miserable at 25 no sex drive limp ass fucking dick. Muscle loss. My body is mis shapen. Fat midsection, skinny ass arms. Fuck this fuvking life