Guys I’m hanging by a thread

Coping
#1

Every day,all day it’s the same fuckin thing.
Obsessing and worrying for 10 YEARS what Fin has done to me.
Every day all day focused on my sensitivity and how it’s getting worse. It’s nothing basically.
I can’t eben say that it’s the worst symptom (even though themats predominantly been my worst by far!)
However ocerbrhe new year I had a Huge crash including:
Insomnia
Brain fog
Blurred Vision
Digestion completely stopped
Mid-section was inflated like air was being pumped into me
Among other things

I have since recovered those symptoms and thank God. All the time during those symptoms I thought “who gives a shit about sex. These symptoms are unbearable”
But now that they have gone after 1 1/2 months my dick is worse.
I don’t even feel when it’s hard anymore.
Outer sensitivity was always an issue. But this is truly bad. I get hard when I sleep and wake up not even knowing. JESUS CHRIST!

I’m truly hanging on by a thread.
I was gonna beva happy guy. Always resilient
Until this. It took love and girls away from me.
Now I just survive. And ya know what
It’s taking its fucking toll.
I don’t even know if I will last. I’m not even alluding to anything. I honestly don’t know if I will last. It’s too much.

It’s all I can think about. It’s all I deal with.
It consumes me. I’ve tried and I tried.
I honestly don’t know how much I got left in the tank until my spirit gives out on me. I’m just a man.
Ppl say go talk to someone. Seek a therapist.
The only way I’ll be happy is if I get my body back again. Talking will not help me.

Oh yea today’s a bitter and dark day. Like most days.
This is all too much.
I understand I’m not the only one.

But this is getting the better of me and I’m aftaid is winning.
I’d do anything to get my body back
Fuck :man_facepalming:

5 Likes
#2

Have you ever had your cortisol tested

#3

I’m currently waiting for my insurance to kick in because of my negligence.
March 1st it starts up again and I’m way overdue for blood test.

Why do you mention cortisol specifically?

#4

Dont know what to say. You have Freedom at least. i was in jail whit pssd and it was like shit

3 Likes
#5

Its one of those things I think is under explored thats all

2 Likes
#6

Therapy cannot be about talking, it has to be about retraining your mind and thoughts and beliefs. I am living proof that it works–I have had the CBT type of therapy with a trained psychologist. And I have had PIS/PFS since 1997/1998. I am still alive with this disorder but I live each day and I know you can too.

And as @Trump_1776 said, getting your cortisol, preferably at 8am in the morning, tested, along with ACTH, will give you a real sense of what is going on biologically so you can fix that along with the psychological.

4 Likes
#7

I’m sorry to hear how difficult things have become for you recently @sg8627. Just know that you have the support of the people here. There are dedicated and intelligent people working industriously to do all they can to try to get the disease in front of the type of specialists that could help us. We all know it can be so hard at times, please try to stay strong.

4 Likes
#8

I really appreciate you saying that man

It’s tough all the time. Having to be strong all the time. I used to be happy and pretty damn resilient because I could always focus on girls or sex.
Now it’s my problem.

This is so Fucked. And the thing is no one will understand this except us.
I certainly don’t mean to bring anyone down really.
I just want to feel as good as I used to
Like all of us do.

#9

Wow man
What happened?

1 Like
#10

i hear you man, it really sucks not knowing where we will be

you really have to take it step by step, it’s all we can do.

live in the present and take it step by step

have you seen the movie “lone warrior”?

the SEALs fall off a cliff and one of them complains about getting shot on top of all the injuries

and mark walhburg goes “you’re living in the past”

meaning, cant be mad and upset about what’s happened, just have to deal with it, even if it’s just surviving for now

3 Likes
#11

Thanks man
I’m gonns Check that film out

It’s just tough to let go
I try to tell myself that I (we) are going through something medically traumatic like the severity of Idk pick your top 3 worst common medical conditions.

The difference for us is it’s suffering in silence except for on here. Ppl will not sympathize or understsnd.
It hits our manhood.

I pray to God there’s a treatment on the horizon for us. I beg and pray every day.

2 Likes
#12

im (notably) really optimistic about our future.

we just need to get the resources (funding) and watch everything seem to move at the speed of light

getting funding is hard, but we’re in the process.

let me know what you think of the movie. as for moving on, this will help

https://www.vipassana.com/meditation/mindfulness_in_plain_english.php

go through each tabs and read. re-read the guidance parts of the meditaiton over and over

and then do it everyday

if you’re lucky, your brain still has the capacity to meditate. if you meditate everyday like that, you’ll get oevr hte past really quick (no matter how bad the pain is)

im unlucky, so i have to wait until a cure before i can meditate effectively again. or at least until sage-217 supposedly

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