Giving up hope (severe sexual sides)

Around 2 months ago I made the worst decision of my life and took 1 mg finasteride after being off dutasteride at that point for 2 weeks. I was on dutasteride for 4ish months before that with sides like muted orgasms and less erectile function. My penis is now smaller in flaccid state and dark, hard flaccid, with new veins and dry stretchy skin. Unfortunately around the 1 month mark I made the decision to try abusing testosterone at random dosages and now I feel that my sexual sides are worse and I cannot achieve an erection. I‘m in the middle of a crash after pinning my last bit of testosterone which I promptly threw away because it has stopped helping me and gave me red spots on my skin. I will now be detoxing from testosterone which is sure to put me in an even worse state of mind. I need advice, and mostly, I need some hope even if it is coping. I keep telling my dad I cant live like this but I would never go so far as suicide because that would destroy my family.

Sincerely,
Meek0s

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Hey man,

I have hard flaccid with weird skin and new veins too. Unfortunately it’s still with me after nearly 5 years. Sometimes it improves a little but it always returns to its numb shrunken form. Ultrasounds were clear, however. This indicates to me it must be reversible, and is not actual tissue damage, even though it bloody well looks like it…

If you want to DM, feel free to reach out.

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How are you doing @meek0s? I’m suffering from the exact same tissue damage of my dick as @Crembo does as well. ~ 10 months in.