Hello everyone,
I have been all over the place these past 9 months (maybe 10 months, I quit in beginning of December 2013 so I didn’t do the math but its like 9 or 10 months). I have been wildly depressed, then feeling fine, then depressed again. Well since I am always on here to check other people’s progress I guess I should post my own.
The last month has been a bit of an up for me on the whole. To summarize I would say it has gone like this:
First week of July- Not much different than every other post since I came off in December, tonnes of ups and downs and one side would get better while others worsened. Felt 20% of my normal self I would say (fluctuated alot day by day so some days I may have felt 25-30% and others 5%)
Second week of July- Felt great in many regards, felt maybe 50-70% back to normal (hard to remember but I felt better than usual)
Third week of July- Felt down again but not as bad as when I was at my worst, maybe felt about 30% normal
Fourth week of July- Felt amazing in almost all respects, the most I have felt like my normal self since quitting (still a few minor issues) but overall I’d say this week I felt maybe 80-90% back to my old self!!!
So these changes may have been temporary and may not last, but the one thing that is great is that for a change I have actually managed to have periods of relative normality (excluding semen volume). I have never been able to have more than 3 days of normality throughout this whole ordeal, so to have had these fluctuations last for a week at a time has been great. Honestly this past week I felt like myself again. I even woke up with a semi erect penis a few times (not fully hard and goes down quick but I had maybe only had this happen 2 times in 9 months, and now it has happened two or three times this week! My libido has been great and I was even able to have sex with my girlfriend last night without viagara. I have been getting stiffys randomly again (maybe not as hard as they used to be but at least they are sort of coming back).
Anyways I know this could all crap out and I could be back to square 1 at any time but I felt the last few months I was making no progress and even getting worse in some areas so I am hoping that if nothing else this past month of fluctuations becomes a sign of things to come. Even if I have bad weeks most of the time I can live like this as long as I get a good week here and there.
Anyways I just wanted to post because I am happy and wanted to share. I am by no means cured, as my semen volume is still much lower than ususual (although I have been regenerating it quicker these past few weeks, and even after masturbating twice a bit will come out on the third time!). But a number of problems persist nonetheless…my eustachian tubes were blocked for the past 6 months and the one is still causing me issues, although it has been clear for a few days off and on and before this week it was consistently crackly and stuffy. Also my bowel movements continue to remain weird (I think I may have got IBS from propecia) but at least I am able to go (constipation was only a huge problem for me back in February and March).
So overall this week has been an improvement for me and I am hoping it lasts but even if it doesn’t I am glad that I am getting some sort of temporary recovery and I hope that I can continue to at least have cyclical sides instead of the slow steady downward spiral I seemed to be on.
Thanks for listening guys, and if I am back on here and depressed again in a week I apologize as I have mentally been a mess through this all.
All the best,
Brad