Don't know what's going on with me :S

Member Stories
#66

Well… i finished my paramedic class somehow. It wasnt easy and i wasnt able to make any friends or connections due to my inability to interact healthily with people. ( I’m pretty sure everyone thought i was wierd)

My girlfriend leaving me caused my body to be extremely fucked for awhile… im still dealing with the stress i miss her so much.

It sucks not having someone to support me through this like she did. Just being around her and cuddling her helped a lot. But now i’m on my own.

I’ve joined Yoga and it has helped me a bit. I also jog quite a bit too… sometimes my balls still retract into my pelvic cavity depending on the temperature which sucks and stops my jogging short.

I don’t know if im getting better or worse. Things seems to be at a standstill.

Still blunted emotions… I am able to shed a few tears now and then especially since the break up, but it only lasts about 15 seconds until i revert back to neutral.

It’s wierd… I really miss her and want her back but my emotions over the whole thing arent as potent as they should be. I’m just kinda lost in robotic daze most of the time.

#67

crashed again! omg i was doing so well. About 2 weeks with the ability to connect with people again and feeling slight emotions. Then bam out of nowhere i felt off and within 2 days crashed. Testicles shrunk more and i feel exhausted! Fuck :frowning:

#68

Well im pretty sure i got TMJ… i heard someone else had a problem with thier jaw muscles… My hearing has gone down so bad the last year and my ears always feel plugged… its terrible… my jaw cracks like crazy and like dislocates if i open it too far… it sucks cause i cant really make out with girls anymore without it snapping.

#69

Hi Heyder,

Alot of the things you have said in your thread really resonate with how i have felt over the past 9 months. That said, I had a recent period where everything returned to normal apart from minor sexual issues (mainly sensitivity and minor ED) and i felt super. It’s dropped off a bit since then, but i’m not as bad as before.

On the connecting with people issue and emotions, may i suggest starting to exercise early in the morning, every morning. Nothing too strenuos, just go for a jog or do some hill sprints. It will perk you up for the day as it has done and does for me. Try to keep doing it, for months. Things might gradually start to turn in your favour.

Good luck mate
Chi

#70

Do you know who this doctor is?

#71

Hyder,
You mentioned the rest of your body going numb. It seems to me that I have loss 50% sensitivity in my entire body. Penis sensitivity is almost totally absent.

Has anyone else noticed this loss of sensitivity. I think it may be harder to notice as it is not as drastic as the numbness I feel in my penis. Another thing I notice that may be related is a vibrating feeling around my chest at times.

#72

hey man,

so you went on raw food diet and it didn’t work out for you? you should try raw food and then use fish to get your protein. try eliminating all sugar from it as well. it’s hard energy wise, but as long as you eat throughout the day you should be good.

did you notice any masturbating when you’ve had these crashes or anything?

#73

Bryce- masterbating… doesnt seem to affect me as far as i know and thanks for the diet advice i will try that.

Hey guys, just checking in and letting you know im still alive.
Survived my terrible break up(they always say it takes half the time you were together to heal your heart and sure enough it took a year for me to recover from the heart break lol. I took it like a soldier)… few updates on my condition:

-erections still suck… bout 60 percent of what they used to
-Balls are still small
-have been diagnosed with osteoporosis in my neck… back pain terrible cracking etcc (am megadosing on vit D3 and magnesium and it has helped BIG time… i feel my bones strenghtening as well as my jaw not cracking as bad anymore)
-I have terrible night vision
-My emotions have improved a little bit… i can feel them a little bit longer before they dissipate.
-muscles twitch a lot
-sleeping has been wierd… hard to do sometimes but i still get a decent amount.
-hearing issues… i cannot hear people in loud areas with background noise.

  • still have trouble dealing with stress.
  • i have a 2 close friends and that’s all i need. I have grown to hate western culture lately with a passion and my lack of emotions has made me see the bigger picture more clearly and logically. So that is one plus. No emotions = more logic and less likely to be manipulated.

I know all these things sound terrible, but overall i am not unhappy. I am grateful for the most part/ apathetic towards everything. I don’t see a future for myself in 10 years but at the moment im content.

Osteoporosis diagnostic
#74

How was the diagnosis made?
What did the doc offer as explanation for this at your age?
What did they suggest for treatment?
What did they say about future prognosis?

#75

Diagnosed with an x ray, there was no explanation on how it could be… and no treatment was told to me…

i researched some of the causes and Low vitamin D was a big one. I researched vitamin D deficiency and i had damn near every symptom. Ever since starting vit D and magnesium i have been feeling much better physically (joint cracking/pain has nearly disapeared)

#76

Do you have bloodwork to confirm low Vitamin D and calcium levels? What about Total/Free Testosterone levels?

Can’t believe the doc had no explanation or treatment suggestions.

#77

no blood work… i have been avoiding doctors as nothing was getting done… they sent me on wild goose chases… had my brain scanned for tumour- negative had a pulse ox attached to me to check my saturation of oxygen at night- came back fine… it was just one useless thing after another and nothing was getting done… i couldnt even get an endo lol…

the doctor that diagnosed me was a chiropractor and he seemed very shocked that i would have the issue at only 24… I have old free testosterone results and they were low… somewhere in the thread.

#78

Well a chiropracter is not an MD so you should probably get a 2nd opinion from your GP, to be sure, along with the necessary bloodwork.

Testosterone mediates bone mineral density. If you have low T values, that’s one treatment area that may help. Hang in there though, sounds like you are getting improvements already symptom-wise from Vitamin D supplementation.

#79

I am / was not different from you dude. I have been diagnosed with osteoporosis as well. And yes I am taking Vit D3 for the last 2 years. Bone pain is under control now.But I am not fully recovered. I agree doctors are useless and they are completely brain washed by pharmas. you can not argue with them.

#80

Well it’s been years since i last posted.
Just thought I’d check in. I’m Still alive… Life has been very strange since all of this started… it’s beena few years since i touched the proscar pill.

I’m still healing. I wish I had some more positive things to say… Things just don’t feel as real as they should… I wish I could pretend that everything is okay but it’s not. There’s a lot of people here for me I can turn to… but I just don’t feel emotional connection properly…and the fact that no one can relate to how I am. I feel like a failed science experiment. i’m living back home with no motivation for life. My penis is fucked up. Parents are stressed at me and want me to get a job… they’ve been understanding as they can… they just don’t realize how empty and unreal I feel. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do. I wish I could be as motivated as I used to be… I feel like it is still in me somewhere… just all of this shit piling me at once serious trauma to my spirit and consciousness. I feel like I have post traumatic stress disorder from this fucking drug. I still can’t believe this is my life now… it’s just so unreal.

I was going to be a fucking paramedic… finished the god damn course, had a beautiful girlfriend… then this little pill comes along and causes the biggest shit storm, and turns everything upside down and inside out and then twists it around and to the left then it all gets sucked into a black hole of nothingness with no way out… which is now my life.

#81

Bump

Can I get a name for the specialist at Mt. Sinai?

#82

Update on my blood tests… here are my results january 2011 compared to now in 2014

January 2011
FSH - 1.8 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
LH - 7.7 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
PROLACTIN - 22.2 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
T3 - Approved - 5.3 on a scale of 3.5 - 6.5 pmol/L
Cortisol AM 413 on a scale of 140-700 nmol/L

February 2014
FSH - 1.6 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
LH - 10.8 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
PROLACTIN - 13.6 on a scale of 2.0 - 18.0 IU/L
T3 - Approved - 5.3 on a scale of 3.5 - 6.5 pmol/L
Cortisol AM 218 on a scale of 140-700 nmol/L

Any ideas on what’s going on…

#83

I’m Turning 27 in a few days… Been near 5 years of emotional blunting… no energy… no motivation no matter how hard I try… I’m like an empty robot…
I go to the gym everyday and do my work out but its like im not in my body and it’s just mechanical…
exhausted everyday…
I went about 2 years of sleeping 16 hour a day and no job… couldn’t do jack shit…
and now for the past year i decided i need to do my damn best to do something even though there is no joy in anything… so I got a full time job… working out everyday… It’s a struggle to get out of bed in the morning but I do it… It’s a struggle to stay awake at work as well… for a year straight and i still feel like absolute shit… i don’t feel like a human being… I don’t know why I do anything. And i Don’t mean that statement as a whiny one. I literally cannot understand the point of doing anything because everything is empty and pointless. 27 living at home… no girlfriend… no motivation… Fuck.

Anyone else suffering like this for years? Has anyone had a miraculous moment where the brain remembers everything at once and the emotions come back?
My brain will not fucking relax… for years… terrible sleep… I have not had a deep relaxing sleep in years… I’ts a wonder how my body and mind can even function. My body aches everywhere constantly like I’m an 80 year old man… I cannot even take deep breathes anymore everything is so stiff around my ribcage… even though I have been doing yoga and breathing excersises constantly throughout the day for a years…

Man lol… Just man… I’m so disociated from who I used to be 5 years ago… everything feels unreal. I don’t recognize myself… I feel like My spirit left my body and now I’m a ghost in a shell.

#84

Your cortisol looks pretty low. You may want to get a 24 hr salivary cortisol test. That may have something to do with your energy levels. Perhaps try taking some medication for your sleep issue. Getting deep, stage 4 sleep is vital. I would recommend a low dose of mirtizapine. It helped me and numerous others to get a good nights sleep. You may feel better in some respects by sorting your sleep out.

#85

check salivary cortisol and supplement accordingly if necessary
mirtazapine lowers cortisol further, you might want to avoid it, as you might want to avoid any sleeping pill. they all lower cortisol
better something more energizing in the morning and nothing at night… but check cortisol salivary 4x a day