Do you still have sexual fantasies?

General Discussion
#1

Hey,

until I took accutane with 16 years I had a very high libido and sexual fantasies as kid. After accutane the fantasies were gone. But I still had some libido. Until I got 23 and took Finasteride. That was the end of my libido. I am now 40 and never had any desires, fantasies etc. When I talk with friends (some of them are close to 60) they still tell me about their fantasies, women in lack and leather, bondage etc. I do not have any of this. They are almost 60 and still have a sexuality. That’s really bugging me. I know some grandpas go to Thailand with 70-80 years to see hookers.

That’s a bad example now and I am sorry for this. But when I watch documentations about serial killers, I really wonder how it must feel to have any fantasy or desire that drives these people to these crimes.

Do you guys still have sexual fantasies? Do you feel desire?

#2

Do you ever look at someone and think they’re attractive?

#3

I can say I lack sexual fantasies too, but I think it might be due to looking at to much porn growing up.

I had lost the ability way before I used Fin. But I still find many women attractive. I am just not able to put on my “animal inatinct” anymore and my penis won’t respond as it should.

#4

When I do not fap 4-6 weeks I get a libido. That’s the time Windows of 1-2 days I have where I can feel sexual attraction when seeing a women of my type. But fantasies? Bonding. Using sex toys. Lingerie. Nope. Nothing.

But I have to agree with @Cbrandel, porn plays a role. But then again I have this friend he is 55, on ssri’s, watching porn all day every day, I bet he is fapping 2-3 times a day. And yet when we meet in the evening and sit at starbucks or so, he cant stop telling me how hot this girl is sitting there and what he would do with her etc. Have another friend in my age. He faps 5 times a day as he telling me.

Since I lost all from finasteride 17 years ago, I had 2 long term girlfriends and lost both because I did not want to have sex, even though they were physically very attractive. They also had pretty normal fantasies like having sex in the shower etc. but I did not want to do it. I did not want to have any sex. So they of course left me.

The last GF, I had from January 2020 to April 2020. That was the time I was taking Aswagandha, dhea, pregnenolone and progesterone. And that somehow partly recovered me for 3 months. We had sex twice or three times daily. But then in the 3rd month I crashed again. And so the last month we had sex maybe 4-5 times.

So. What I actually wonder is, maybe my friends are just not normal. Maybe people who never took these drugs also lack of sexual fantasies? Maybe it’s normal and I make it a big issue for me?

#5

People have different sex drives and there’ll be people who just say “that’s how I am” without worry. Those who don’t want to often, and those like your friend who may need to do something every 3 hours.

I would say it’s fair to say that you have a low sex drive by anyone’s measure, and that if you want a relationship that you ought to say that’s how you feel. There’s not much point in saying what you should want and worrying about it, because you don’t feel that way, and at the moment, that’s how it is.

Someone here said a while back that there are dating services for people who don’t want or can’t have a sexual relationship, so there are any number of different places on the spectrum.

It might be better to focus on what makes you happy, rather than finding ways to measure yourself against others.

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#6

bump

#7

Maybe contributing your experience will encourage others to.

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