Hello, everyone.
I am writing this simply to let the community know that I have decided to end my life. It has been 14 years. I started taking Finasteride when I was just about 18 years old.
That means that I lost my youth and accumulated so much trauma that it is becoming increasingly difficult to cope with the symptoms—not just physically, but psychologically as well.
The thing is, yesterday, something inside me snapped. I reached the logical conclusion that there is no reason to keep living in this suffering.
I cannot explain to myself why I am still here. I live life as a heavy burden, yet I don’t know why or for whom. I think ego and hope kept me alive. But I have lost both.
I no longer have the ego needed to refuse to give up and keep fighting as I once did, and I have no hope that I will recover.
Furthermore, I am 38 years old, but a great part of me is still stuck at 18, because I was unable to develop normally from that age onward.
I see young people who are happy and in relationships all the time, and I feel like I am living on the sidelines of life. In fact, I truly believe Finasteride alters our masculine dignity to such an extent that we don’t even have the balls to kill ourselves.
Ordinary men commit suicide for far less.
We don’t even have the aggression driven by androgens working in our favor to simply put an end to our suffering.
My plan isn’t to do this anytime soon. I am working on a PhD, and as hard as it has been, I want to finish it. And, since I am not a bad person — no matter how much I might want to be, given everything I’ve been through — I want to get my affairs in order before I go.
Of course, logic dictates that if I were truly going to take my own life, I wouldn’t tell anyone; I would simply do it. But I want this recorded here so that there is information regarding yet another death caused by Finasteride.
Anyway, that is what I am going to do: I’m going to wait a year—the time needed to complete my PhD—and then, if I haven’t changed my mind, I’ll come back here to make one last post saying that’s it.
I appreciate the efforts of the foundation and the forum. See you in hell.