Dealing with New Depression

Symptoms Neurological
#1

Hi all,

I haven’t been regularly posting here for about a year. To sum up my history, I fin and dut since about 2009. Around 2011 is when the pfs really took off. For about two years I have been on a paleo diet. I started making my own milk kefir since summer 2014. Since August 2015 I had made a really strong effort to cut out all soy and nightshades (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, peppers), which is actually quite difficult. I went back to eating breads and pastas and having occasional beer. Since August, for the most part things were going well and I was feeling, in my retrospective opinion, that recovery could be coming in the near future. I was as content as ever in the last four years.

Things have taken a downturn in the last few weeks. I’ve developed some kind of recurring hives that I just can’t figure out. I can’t tell if it is related to any specific food or if it is related to histamine, or maybe a vitamin deficiency. Going to see an allergist soon. My skin was also feeling uncomfortable, like just making a line on it made a red mark that kind of burned for an hour. It seems in the last few days this may have gone away.

Anyway, depression has set in seriously for the first time in a long time. Before pfs, I dealt with OCD and depression when I was in college. It’s like I can’t stop thinking about how horrible our situation is and how hopeless it is. Every time I think about or remember how long I’ve been going through this, I get just an awful anxiety in my stomach. I’m having trouble making it through the work day as all I can think about is my pfs. Could these skin disorders have anything to do with pfs? I keep thinking how much more can I take? I almost want to get more SSRI’s to deal with the depression like when I was in college.

I know this story is not anything new, but I have to say something because I don’t have much of a support network outside of my parents to talk about this. And the brain fog is also really strong too. Hope someone can post some words of encouragement.

#2

If you haven’t dealt with the hives until now, I wouldn’t assume that it’s related to PFS. It could be, but it seems unlikely imo. As for the brain fog–it could very much stem from the depression–people who are depressed generally feel that way. If it’s the “PFS brainfog” (like what I have), where you feel disconnected from reality almost or not all the way there, then that could be because of PFS.

The real question you’ll have to ask yourself is if you’re situationally depressed about thinking how you’ve dealt with this for so long, or if you’re chemically depressed due to PFS. While I was chemically depressed earlier on since having PFS, this has abated a bit, and now my depression generally stems from just my situation.

Best of luck to you, and see a doctor soon to figure out that hives issue.

#3

Oh yeah, I didn’t make that clear, i’m definitely dealing with the brain fog issue. Disconnect from reality, generally less sensory information coming in, no connection to previous memories. Damn, I could really use even a short term recovery right now.

Over the summer I added gluten and grains back in while being careful to avoid soy and nightshades. Part of me wonders if that is related. But you’re right, I don’t think I remember these particular symptoms when pfs first started.

My skin always became drier and more itchy over the winter. No matter what, this never seemed to change. I don’t specifically remember hives after scratching.

#4

It’s definitely related to pfs. During the days leading up to my crash and for about a week after my hands were completely covered in hives. That’s something that has never happened in my life.

Check my post here,http://www.propeciahelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=10388&p=101170#p101170, its all about my hands.

#5

I don’t know what the hell is going on with me. Please read on and tell me what you think:

Itchies popping up with some dermatographia, very sweaty hands, return of OCD/Depression/Depersonalization after months of doing better.

Last Saturday night, after drinking some strong kefir, having some kale, salmon, and some fruits, I went to sleep after an emotional talk with my parents. OCD/Depr/Depersonalization in full effect. Literally prayed to God that if this is my life from now on, just let me die tonight. Woke up with really sweaty hands and I just felt like, damn, i want to go back to sleep, and my arms had sort of a non-specific itch. So I went and took a nyquil and knocked out until around 9 am. Had a druggy feeling that wore off in like an hour.

Suddenly, I noticed, that my obsessions were gone and I felt extremely clear. There was like a warm buzz in my mind and I just felt happier. Better. I went out to the golfing range and hit a few hundred balls. My mind was ridiculously clear, it was like a full mental recovery. I looked at the clouds and the sun and just felt happy. Memories came flooding back of similar sunsets I’ve seen. I didn’t make them come back, they just came immediately. I walked around a shopping center just smelling foods and having those smells trigger memories from childhood. I felt amazing. I felt like I would find somebody to spend my life with. My penis wasn’t really connected to all of this, but when I saw a girl or thought about sex with her, I didn’t get the usual ache of nervousness in my stomach. My balls also just felt bigger and from the waist down i’m more comfortable.

24 hours later, the mental recovery is gone. Everything is back, but maybe the OCD symptoms aren’t as intense. But still, it’s like my mind is focused on something else. It sounds weird to someone without OCD, but while I’m focusing on one thing with my conscious mind, my inner mind is focusing on a mental image of what I look like, it’s weird and I think i’ve had it before, I just never thought about it much. So I keep having to shake my head to clear the cobwebs. Some of the itchies came back towards the end of Sunday and today. My balls are still full though for some reason.

What could have caused this? One dose of Nyquil? It has Acetaminophen (Pain reliever, fever reducer), Doxylamine Succinate (Antihistamine), Dextromethorphan (Cough suppressant). Maybe something else I did that day? I probably can’t reproduce it, but it does make me wonder

I did some reading that an antihistamine provides some light SSRI-like effect and also serves as a sedative

What the hell should I do next??? Just wait and see what happens? Maybe my body is trying as hard as it can to get back to pre-pfs normal. But I don’t know if I can function if the OCD/Depersonalization stays this severe

#6

Reading this almost felt like I wrote it myself. I was also feeling like I was recovering and then suddenly a U-turn from hell kicked in. I am suffering from all of your symptoms right now. I had a emotional conversation with my mum, brother and girlfriend too on new years eve and for the first time I decided I had enough.

Whats the most interesting thing is that this all started with this ongoing itch all over my body, then followed by derealization, intense brain fog, vision loss. I had also changed my diet and for a couple months introduced gluten back in. I am having a number of tests by Drs with only abnormal IgE and Easonphilis.

Currently having further tests done.
If you want to talk PM me as you have the closest symptoms as to what I am feeling right now. I’m also on solvepfs as BMK.