I am coming back here after all this time as the final step of my healing process: get closure with this forum. It was an awful, awful ride, filled with tears, blood and pain, but I believe there are a lot of lessons for all of us individually and as a group. As I finish this text is past midnight, so forgive me for any errors
The symptoms during my crash after using that drug for 10 years were 1 month of insonia, penile shrinkage, panic attacks, cracked up skin, lack of concentration, suicidal, super lazy bowel movements (only with coffe/tea, would sometimes come with some white slime) even my laughter changed and sounded “dumber” and felt somewhat “incontrollable”.
I can say today I am 99% healed and in someways a much better version of myself entering this hell-hole: I am almost 10kg stronger (crossfit!), much more in tune with my body, I am “awake” to most BS and propaganda in the matrix, I am greatful for finding God and understanding more of our purpose in this world.
What did it cost me? I had an international engineer career, living by myself in beatiful Sweden, I had just accepted an offer as a consultant in Malmo, a loving girlfriend from Estonia, travelling all around the world at 29. Life was awesome, it felt like I really made it.
In summary, I had 3 years self experimented everything under the sun and hurting myself badly in the process: From traditional medicine, to protocols from this website and other famous gymbros in the community and their own forums (where they would purposefully get pfs just to prove their point).
What didn’t work or harmed me: looking through this forum more than 5 minutes, relying on science experts and their very limited proxies of reality that got us here in the first place (conflicting interests!), doing any hormonal protocols, water fasting “permanently” gave me such a strong headache for over 1 year that I couldn’t even seat and tried to end it a couple of times
What helped me: some meds during SOS and understanding our natural design - diet, exercise, sleep patterns.
Clonazepam at the very begining felt like a God-sent, for enabling me to sleep (but I knew I had to tapper off asap).
at the same time, the psychiatrist prescribed trazodone, and, again, it was a net positive: it finally got me to sleep at least 5, 6hours daily, after being awake for a whole month (all 3 antidepressant lobotomized me, but at this point I had no more jobs, had all the time in the world to self experiment as a newly invalid at my parents).
CBD was a massive upgrade from CLonazepam as a tap-down drug, holding me back just enough to stop the panic attacks (which I understood with time were also related to carbs) and keeping the sleep improvements on my early stages; exercises that promote “hormonal blasts”
The absolute cure, I am strongly convinced, is not found in labs, microscopes, or, even worse, changing our genetics as I have seen on the rare occasions I come by.
That gene doesnt only do this one stuff you are studying: who knows the downstream effects of mutating us, specially in the long time? Supposedly, you believe they already did that to us with these drugs, are you gonna let them tilt your genes again?
Rather, it is to be found with those that live in their natural habitats, that were never talked down by experts or led astray from their instincts. I am not talking about pre-historic idealized cavemen, I am talking about vastly reported tribes that lived untouched not that long ago, which excelled our society health standards in every way.
It was exactly this thought of presumption to the creation that got us in this misery. We think we can outsmart God and His designs, and in doing so we end up in a place much worse than the “bug” we were originally trying to fix
We must, instead, approach the issue holistically, and trust that our body is, at all times, doing its best with what we input to it.
IF WE DO WHAT OUR BODY WAS DESIGNED TO DO, THEN IT WILL PERFORM AS IT WAS DESIGNED TO. If not, why wouldnt our bodies simply colapse and cease existing, if it was permanently damaged? i.e.: we are designs with purpose.
I started getting a glimpse at the solution when I read Viljarmour Steffansons “The Fat of the Land” and how he would recover his health everytime he would join the Inuits. However, I believe he intentionaly omitted the most consequential part of his experiment, in order to be accepted and promoted at the time
Indeed, “carnivore” is nothing new even to this forum. Everyone who tried it here claimed that the benefits were only partial, and decided to keep on with whatever metabolic meddling they were into.
When I came across carnivore I was already 1+ year in into PFS and already were damaged by the protocols and 30 day waterfast, which gave me permanent headaches to the point where I couldnt sit at all. Ever. Just pain all day, trying to learn how to study/exist only laying down.
Carnivore as we currently understand it didn’t do a thing about that crippling headache. I even tried the 2 week program at the PKD institute in Hungary and 6 months by my own, following all their instructions to the T and in fact only getting worse from that headache.
It wasn’t until I saw that “looney” killing his own goat in his backyard and eating it raw that I connected all the dots: if we are meant to be carnivores (compare our guts to carnivores and you will know), a foundational part of it would include the BLOOD of the meat.
and indeed, that’s where a lot of the nutrition is. Just read “absurd” articles about the high some people get from drinking it, as if mocking them while promoting us slave food (veggies)
Going “mainstream carnivore” will show one many remarkable improvements: no more sun-burn, no cavities, perfect skin, erection back. However, ketosis will make one extremely thin and a very light sleeper. We are already in a very stressed state. Only “real carnivore” can make that final leap to full health.
Blood on the meat opens the apettite, cuts ketosis for months, helps our body pump up again and puts us back to the normal biological clock,both sleeping patterns and bowel movements everyday.
In retrospect, I remember some anti-carnivore argument saying Inuits had no ketones in their bloodworks. That’s why. Even if they only eat it when its fresh and live of stock; we are “blood deficient” through our whole lives, thus ketosis.
When I finally tried it, I could feel my veins just warming up entirely throughout my body, and my bodyweight went from 60kg to 72kg -former baseline- in a week; and to 80kg with crossfit in 2 months),
Unfortunately, it cannot be cooked: it tasted like death, and my body immediately rejected it. I believe at this stage my body was so depraved of nutrients, having gone through the 30-day water fast, that only the absolute right meal for us could cure me. MEAT AND BLOOD HEALED THE LONG-LASTING DAMAGES OF FOOD DEPRIVATION IN ONE DAY.
By the time I became a “real carnivore”, I was already almost 3 year in into this nightmare, living completely hidden from everybody: friends in Sweden couldn’t understand why I left (but thought it was Covid drama), and friends at home mostly didn’t know I was back.
So it has been a long ride back to normalcy since 2023, but life doesnt open the same doors at our 30’s as it did in our 20’s. Another red pill is that all our lives we were taught to rely on a safety network as a piece of society (employee), and not an autonomous individual (business owner). Getting oneself back up by one’s own bootstraps is only possible through enterprising.
After doomed perspectives of the job market, back and forth between unemployment and shitty jobs, I can finally say I found some old friends that helped me become a partner in urban development, which might just be
The 1% i hold back in my personal evaluation is the penile shrinkage (while soft, smaller girth, looks like a flat ballon). I am doubtful of those who claim recovery on that, because we were literally crippled: hard to imagine and organ regrowing because we finally started eating right.
TLDR and final thoughts: meds can be useful in getting your basic needs in order: sleep and emotional state, but get off of them asap.
nutrition in meats is found mainly in organs, specially blood. Everything else, including veggies and fruit, prevent one from absorbing meats correctly, like mixing the wrong fuel to your car (you can realise that by muscle recovery after gym).
I realised raw organs felt so much better than cooked, blood specially. For muscles, it doesn’t make much difference. Don’t do cheese, coffee, supplements, or tea, you will feel it in your mobility and latic acid the next day after exercising.
Don’t stress over meat brand that much. As long as it doesn’t give you diarrea, you are doing fine. If you have access and can buy “green”, “pasture-only”, etc, good for you.
After fixing the diet, try running and hiit with heavy weights, in that order. The diet will get you so much in tune with your body, and these exercises will boast your life quality
I look back at all this journey and wonder what would my life have been had I had someone tell me all this at the start (hell, even before that).
If this post makes a positive impact on your lives and mods think appropriate, I would like to leave my BTC wallet here for donations. it is the only public likely to value this expertise, but at the same time one that is vigorously in need of it.
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