I know, it’s going to be a tough road, but it’s not impossible. Unfortunately for me my private medical insurance company know too much of my situation and won’t support a penny. They have been absolute cunts throughout my PFS nightmare, so I’m looking to the NHS for support. I’ve already written to my GP to explain as much, who by the way is a woman and extremely understanding and supportive of my situation (I highly recommend a female GP). I am optimistic because I have a good case, but we’ll see. At worst they’ll try and sort my sleep out another way which may help my recovery. As I said, I definitely recommend a female GP, mine is very understanding and reacts much faster than any male GP I have had. She is totally in sync with me.
FYI Bluecloud87, as a backup I am also trying to get GHB in an alternative way. I have some good contacts for this sort of thing so I will let you know how it goes
At the moment, i’m back in recovery mode. Have been for about 4 days. Still got problems, but nothing major. We’ll see how long it lasts. One thing that definetely looks set to stay is my banana penis.
I have a question Chi, when you say you are in recovery mode, do you mean 100% back to normal? You have strong libido like before propecia? Your penis feels the same? You feel like you need to masturbate if you haven’t had any sexual activity for a few days?
I am recovered in a sense my mind feels totally normal. I suffered greatly with mental sides. I would walk around my room for hours wondering what to do to bring me some normality. It was torture. Then I couldn’t sleep etc. etc. Awful. Now, I am normal. I have emotion, feel connected to the world and everything. It’s all there. It feels a touch fragile, but stable enough. I think it’s just a confidence thing, because I’ve had periods like this that have then turned bad again. We’ll see. If it last out say 1 month, then i’m sure it’s there for good and that will let me leave this feeling of fragility, if you get what I mean. I guess i’m just a touch nervous it will all crash down again. Nevertheless, right now, mentally, I am normal.
Physically, in terms of my body warmth, strenght, skin sensation, vision and everything else is completely normal. Maybe the occasional eye floater, but VERY rare. Even my eye sensitivity to light is normal again now. Penis and balls LOOK normal too. Balls are even hanging, full, consistently now. Size is back. They are also warm. Scrotum feels moist, healthy. Before, dry and dead.
Sexually, I feel compelled to masterbate daily. I get the buzzing feeling in my balls if I think about sex and my perineum area is VERY full, strong. As is erection strength and size. However, I wouldn’t say my ability to get an erection on my own is as easy as before, yet, but it is improving. Libido is definitely there, though not 100%. I attribute the minor sexual issues I am having to the fact my sensitivity is not fully back just yet.
That’s the best way I can summarise my current situation. Pretty damn good.
Well i’m not there yet, but i’m pretty close. Especially when I compare my symptom list now to that around 6 months ago. I am a very determined person though, have always felt like I could do anything if I put my mind to it. This was the ultimate test and jesus christ i never want to face anything like this again. I’m not totally out of the woods yet though, but almost. I have some sporadic pressure build up in my ears at the moment, it’s been on and off for about a week. Not sure what that’s related to, but I think it’s OK, probably a sign of hormones stablising or something. I have a cold penis right now, but that’s OK. For those that suffer the full whammy (mental, physical & sexual), when you recover from the mental & physical, the sexual sides are of much smaller concern. I’m not that bothered about lack of sensitivity right now either, it’s improving along with the other sexual sides, it’s just not perfect just yet. Other things that are not as pre-fin just yet are the newly formed wrinkles under eyes etc. but even these are going now. The fullness is 100% there though, as in the collagen. So all in all a good sign.
Just don’t give up fighting mate. Keep gyming, running, doing sports, drinking fresh spring water, not from concentrate orange juice, vegetables, fruits. Keep working on sleep etc. taking fish oils, zinc, although don’t go overboard. Plenty of stretching, some skipping. Exploit times when you feel OK, by this i mean when you feel good, really nail a sporting activity to the best you can, or fathom as much enjoyment as you can spending some time with your kids. Don’t forget to try and laugh and smile occassionally too, even though it’s hard. You’ll get there, just keep working at it, CONSISTENTLY. Just because you’re not better in a month, or 6 months, or 1 year… doesn’t mean you should stop doing these sorts of things, you never know just one day it might all come together. Just incorporate things conducive to a recovery into your life full blown. Keep adjusting if things don’t work out and all the time believe in yourself. Remember the occassional prostate massage, the pelvic floor strecthes etc., plus the powerplate if you can get to one.
Just for the record, i haven’t been doing any of that for a while, but it definitely got me where I am today.
I think this contributed yes, but i’ve worked pretty hard in other areas too and for quite some time now. As I said, not completely there yet, but getting close.
Hey Chi, can you outline some of the pelvic exercises you were doing? I remember you mentioning a workout plate, is it possible to do these exercises without one?
dgreene, it’s called a powerplate, look it up on google or my link on the plevic floor thread. It’s basically a machine with high intensity vibrations, you’re not really doing stretches on it, rather getting into positions that centre the vibrations in the prostate or pelvic floor moreover. Very powerful. No you cannot do it without one of these machines, plus they cost 1000s, so the only place to get to one is in a decent gym or to rent one. I have to say, all the stretches in those books HITP and ‘heal pelvic pain’ are so basic and obvious it’s not worth buying them. If you go to yoga, you are doing all these stretches anyway, so i’d just say focus on things like yoga for your stretches and use the powerplate for pelvic floor release. That’s definitely where my pelvic floor ‘loosening’ benefits came from, the powerplate. Coincidently my biggest improvements have coincided with focusing on this area, but as I’ve said i’ve been doing a myriad of rituals and routines for atleast 6 months now and they have probably all played their part.
Not anymore of course; trust me drinking broccoli shakes full of ginger and MACA powder for 3 months is DISGUSTING! I’m glad i don’t do that anymore. Didn’t seem disgusting when i was totally numb to life though, i just knew it had to be good for me!
This is really great news, Chi, I’m very glad for you and for everyone of us
Unfortunately, I have scoliosis, and I’m afraid I can’t do the Powerplate
I was planning to buy “headache in the pelvis”, do you think it’s not worth the try?
You talk about a full perineum again, well, that’s something I noticed too: now when I put a finger on this place, it feels empty! Before, it was round, swollen, sometimes a little hard, and sensitive. Is it a sign the prostate shrank?
And now I only make a real bowel movement once a week.
That was the longest stretch of feeling pretty decent in all areas i’ve had since this all began. I think it was a 10 day stretch or so. So much healing happened in that time, it was unbelievable. So now i’m the wrong side of that line again. I mean i’m not completely fucked; but my vision is not right, my body is cold again, balls are tucked up (little smaller in size), consistency just about OK. I can still get hard, but it takes a bit of effort and girth is less; perineum less full.
Yeah, it’s a bitch. Really felt quite stable this time too. I guess it’s a good sign still. Clearly my body does have the potential to go back to normal, or near to 100%, it’s just a case of everything coming together! I guess i just need to ride out this bad patch now and hope that I get another up swing soon!
Maybe if you could get a blood test on a day that you feel 100% (or near) you could see what your baseline is at. You’d probably want to check everything (testosterone, estradiol, prolactin, dht, all thyroid hormones, antibodies, etc.).
This may also help us try to figure out the cause of these symptoms.
