Hi everyone, today I feel like celebrating my survival. 16 years since I was chemically castrated by Roaccutane. When I look back over all I have gone through often enough it seems horrifying, but today I’m feeling hopeful and good. To have gone down so many blind alleys and wriggled my way back out, and to still be here, still fighting, it’s an achievement that feels worth celebrating.
You can post here if you feel like celebrating your survival as well.
Have you recovered
Some way still to go.
It’s nice to see a post from you Luckydevil. I recall you being there for me when I was at arguably my lowest point, and as luck would have it, you post this during this rough patch of mine.
It’s certainly important to give ourselves recognition for what we’re going through. It’s far too easy to become jaded from this and forget how strong we all are.
I hope things are going well for you.
Good post. And a good reminder to acknowledge the effort and will it takes to live with this disease.
Hi mate, good to see you as well! I’m sorry to hear you’re going through another rough patch, what exactly is going on? I made this topic coming out of a couple of weeks of a very black depression, and I’m under no illusions, there’ll likely be times like that again, which is why I thought it’s important to acknowledge this good moment while it’s here.
Best way I can describe it is “mental fatigue” from dealing with this. Since the start of the new year, it’s been on my mind quite frequently that this will be 8 years since I took Accutane. I’d love nothing more than for some being, person or otherwise, to grab me by the shoulders and tell me that everything will be ok.
Also as I’m sure many people here have experienced, making progress with this disease can come very slowly, so that only adds to difficulty in addition to making it harder sticking to good habits I’ve built up over time – questioning whether or not they’re worth it in the first place.
As you mentioned, the ebb of flow of emotions is very common. Bad times come and so will good times. I hope to join you soon in enjoying a good moment, and I hope yours lasts longer than any of your expectations 
.
even if we are cured the ebb of flow of emotions will remain.
our brain adapts to new circumstances, and creates new problems that will make us feel pain and euphoric deeply
but im looking forward to that one day where some bullshit 1st world problem regarding friends and family would be the biggest pain in my ass lol
Yeah, I know that feeling. I guess it’s the other side of the coin, when you’ve been battling this a long time. I will say though, it’s not all just ebb and flow, I do think I have generally a much healthier perspective now. It’s not completely solid, I do still have dips and spins and times where I feel fucking crazy, but again, in keeping with the theme of the thread, when I look back I can see a clear progression from where I was nearer the start of this.
On the question of good habits, for me the important question for everything in my life now is, does it serve my healing? I find it’s very easy to beat oneself up with this disease. There’s so much shame and self-hatred involved. So I think there is a tendency to adopt ‘healthy’ practices which are actually extremely unrealistic demands. A pull yourself up by the bootstraps type of mentality. Personally, I believe proper healing rarely works like that. But what do I know? For all my lovely little theories, I’ve still got a floppy cock, ha ha.
But naw, even if I don’t know for sure what healing is, I think I have a pretty good idea of what it isn’t. Again, all those blind alleys I backed out of.
Your resilience is truly amazing. I respect your power and wish you all the best on your way. I’m only 3 years in this miserable state and already doubt I could do 10 years more like that.
Bear in mind that for about 11 years I was living in a fog of confusion not understanding what had happened to me! I was 14 when this started and as I’ve said before, when something so devastating happens to you so young you are literally incapable of processing it. Plus, it wasn’t even officially recognised that Isotretinoin could do this back then.
Anyway, hopefully you won’t have to do 10 more years!
OORAHHH brother
Congrats and God Bless
Keep truckin and soldiering on