Cap's Story

Member Stories
#121

Hello. I try not to post on here (nothing against the forum, just trying to curb depression) and I’ve been pretty good about it for a few months but I’ve been bad about that the last couple weeks. Going to get back on the wagon but before I go I found another recovery to add to the list further up this page. The OP is sick but about halfway down the page a guy mentioned he took Fin for 10 years, came off it and recovered after about a year.

farescapes.tumblr.com/post/38465307689

Also there’s this guy that posted recently. Got PFS from Duta, recovered after 2-3 years via diet and workout routine.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8552

As I mentioned in that thread, when you feel down just think of all the people that recovered but were never members here. They just got sick, dealt with it on their own, and moved on. Or think about how there are 3000 members on this forum and maybe 50 are active. CDnuts was recovered for a year before he posted about it. He could have just as easily not done that, and based on his posts it would have seemed like he was sick forever, like all the other members that left and never came back. Anyway, not trying to belittle anyone that’s been suffering for a while. Just trying to hopefully brighten the day of a few people and give some hope.

As for myself, the last week of October was my 1 yr anniversary of quitting Fin. It falls on the same week as my birthday, which is a bummer. I thought about doing a big update post but there’s not a lot to say. Like all of you I’m still trying different things, hoping I stumble across something to knock everything back into place. I’ve tried quite a few things at this point with varying success but there’s still a lot more I can do. A lot of people seem to see big improvement in year 2. I’m hoping that ends up being true for me as well.

Take care and stay strong.

#122

Hi, I’m going to keep this very brief but I wanted to report some recent progress to give others some hope.

I have no explanation for this whatsoever but within the last couple months my mental symptoms have almost entirely disappeared. I did nothing out of the ordinary, and in fact my physical condition got substantially worse which led me to give up hope and abuse a lot of substances. I still have derpy moments but before this giant upswing I felt like I could barely process information, couldn’t enjoy anything, never made jokes, couldn’t speak correctly, etc. I’m sure you all know how it is. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% my old self but I do feel pretty normal the majority of the time and hopefully that will continue to improve. So I guess the point is to always keep up hope. Even when things are their shittiest you never know what the next week or month could bring. Hang in there.

1 Like
#123

Cap this is excellent news! Do you think the “substances” had anything to do with the upswing?

Have these improvements held?

#124

Yes, I would say at this point my mental symptoms are pretty much a thing of the past. I wasn’t doing anything I hadn’t done before with no results. My brain must have just worked things out over time. Hopefully the same thing happens sexually.

#125

Cap do your emotions come back completely?

#126

Depressedguy- slowly emotions come back, you start to feel aggressive toward life again, happy, laughing etc

It will happen, give it time, mark off 2 years at least on your calendar

I am no longer a disengaged isolated zombie!!

#127

I hope so man. Still living in hell.

#128

Ohhhhh I feel you, I remember how horrible it was. 3 weeks I was depressed and wanted to give up, then a day I felt ok, then back to 3 weeks of feeling like shit. It will come back, it takes a long long time though.

#129

This may sound stupid but it’s difficult for me to remember exactly what it was like to be totally normal. But as far as I can tell, yeah, everything mentally appears to be more or less fine now. I got pretty enraged about something the other day, for example. I would have been completely incapable of that a few months ago. Like someone could spit in my face and I’d be like “ok.”

#130

Hi Cap.
Your story is actually one of the most inspiring ones for me!
Somehow same happens with me since I started running and biking every secound day. It’s like waking up and realising “what have I done!?”
I agree with you it’s not good for your motivation and depression reading the bad stories and seeing your self there in a few years, but you stumble over them reading the good ones and somehow I can’t stop going on this forum and getting my self good hope each day. But sometimes I regret it too that I went on this page and read something bad.

But anyway. Since you had some good days on the sexual side too I wanted to ask you, when did your sexual simtoms start to cycle? I’m now nearly 6 month since crashing and I didn’t have a good day on the sexual side so far. I can tell that my mental symtoms cycle a lot and I have days of hope and even laughing and smiling with some people and I have days where I would like to set me and my motorbike against a tree.

I would be really glad to hear from you and btw. thanks for that recovery section in your posts. It helpes me a lot!

Cheers Stri

#131

I’m glad my thread has helped you stay positive. Threads like that got me through the very worst times. As for my sexual sides, I don’t recall exactly but I’d say I didn’t see much improvement until at least a year and even then it was negligable. I’ve had some gains in that department recently (I’ve actually been pretty stir crazy horny this week, even despite being depressed about something else) but it’s just due to time passing. Stay strong and believe you can and will get better. And keep trying things out.

#132

How you holding up, Cap? Your story also inspires me in my lower times. When we get through this shit, if we ever cross paths i’m buying you a drink.

#133

This is great to hear. I haven’t checked the forum in a while and it’s awesome to see someone make big gains like that. I remember when you were in the really dark times and I hope it inspires others to hang in there.

#134

Hey, cap! How are things going for you now? I crashe a month ago, so you can imagine how dark times are being now. Your history made me get more optmistic over all this. I’m having some very bad symptoms right now, such as prostate pain, greasy face, muscle twitches, insonia, brain fog… well, you got the picture. It’s hard to hang on to life with all this going on, but I’m hopping to have any kind of improvemente throught the next fews month, anything in this matter you be very helpful to keep me optmistic. Good luck, thanks for sharing your history

#135

Hi cap
how are you doing sexually any improvements?