Anger and then suicidal ideation: for those with psychiatric symptoms

Symptoms Neurological
#1

I recently updated writing that i improved my sleep, but today i suddenly have suicidal ideation, don’t know why. I have a strong feeling of desperation, i see my life as something so troubled that there is no way out.
I noticed that this happens when i argue and i get angry. Today i felt good, then i argued with my father and now i feel very unstable, suicidal. Things that didn’t upset me that much, now look like good reasons to die.
The same thing happened 1 week ago, after a quarrel with my brother.
For those with psychiatric symptoms, does this ever happen to you?

p.s. though i can look pathetic, i’m looking for support.

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#2

Stress is a big problem for everyone, but particularly us.

One of the things that I think is of great significance is that you have recognised how irrational your feelings are. This will pass and you will feel better.

You have had a comparatively good period recently. When I feel down with PFS, my coping strategy is to think about how things have got better at different times.

I remember you talking about feeling suicidal in the past. Back then you felt suicidal AND you couldn’t sleep.

Your position is better. It’s possible that you’ll feel better in hours or in the morning. To a certain extent, you have to push these feelings to one side and just cope sometimes. It’s not great but it is where you are.

You’re taking little steps forwards, but sometimes there’ll be some steps back. Try to look at where you’ve come from, not where you are right now.

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#3

I feel like this every day. It is normal. We have experienced a huge loss in life (and some of us more than just PFS) so it is normal to feel anger, desperation, depression and suicide ideation. I am not saying it is desirable, just normal. The solution to anger is easy - you need to expose yourself to it by thinking the thoughts that make you angry. By rumunating about it, which is very painful, you disarm the emotions over time. This is a very slow and difficult process but the only thing that works. As for the depression, desperation and suicidal thoughts - I haven’t found a solution. If you can find some purpose or meaning in life going forward that will help a lot. I mean - this is the key. I am struggling to do that. I think this is particularly difficult for us single people without partners and children. If you already have those then you can live without libido and work to provide for your children. I think if you are single with no prospects for a relationship (and/or gay with no prospect for children) it is a lot harder to find a compelling personal meaning in life going forward. I would love to hear evidence to the contrary.

#4

I had that just a few days ago, when i was trying to see my baseline without so much amino acids.

My baseline sucks. Without the diet and the aminos, I have depression, anxiety, demotivation, suicide idealization, insomnia, fatigue, sleepiness all day long, muscle weakness, irritability etc… and the sexual symptoms worsen.

My way to deal with it is to realize it’s just the disease acting on me. There’s no reality behind it. It’s just bad feelings because of bad brain chemistry. So I acknowledge it exists, and i act as if it wasn’t there. I try to keep busy. I sure don’t act on it, and I try not to take important decision when I feel that way.

That put aside, I find I’m in a much better mood on suicidal idealization and desperation symptoms If I take a pill of L-Dopa 350mg right when I wake up, and another after lunch around 1pm (I eat at noon).

So I’m disciplined. I have a schedule and alarms on my phone to stick to it. My regime is my priority, before my children and my work. Because without it, all goes to hell including children and work.

On the good side, with the regime I’m doing, I have an almost normal life.

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#5

Yeah, i noticed that a regimen is important, but it gets almost impossible to stick to it forever, particularly during holidays. I can stick to my diet but even that is getting boring now.

Returning on my question, has someone noticed the effect of arguing with someone on the psychiatric symptoms, specially on suicidal ideation?

P.s. maybe is due to the trazodone reintroduction. It’s incredible how even very low dosages can affect me.
My psychiatrist says that is all in my mind even about antidepressants, she says that the dosages are almost placebo like.

#6

I get affected by tiny tiny amounts of anti-histamine (like 1/10th of a pill) when it would do nothing to a normal person. believe how you feel, not how your doctor tells you you should feel.

And to answer your question, without the amino acids I’m taking (like 5-HTP, Tyrosine and L-Dopa), I can get anxiety, depression or become out of control furious when arguing with someone. My mind is messed up so it’s hard to predict.

And that’s why I stick to taking the amino acids I’m taking. With 5-HTP and Tyrosine, I remain calm and confident when arguing, so I will either win the argument or end it with “you believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want”. 5-HTP creates serotonin which is a “dominant” neurotransmitter. It makes you calm, assertive and with a sense of humor. It does wonders with tough negotiations.

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#7

You shouldn’t call emotions psychiatric symptoms.

I am not sure what your question is. Yes, arguing is conflict. Conflict is stressful and unpleasant. Sometimes we have to do stressful and unpleasant things. Are these arguments worth it? Are you fighting for some sort of truth or justice? If so, keep arguing but in an intelligent way that will actually advance your goals. If not - stop unnecessary arguing. Same if the arguments are not worth it and are over petty things or if nothing will come out of the arguments. Anger is not a sufficient reason for starting arguments.

Antidepressants are extremely powerful even at minimal doses like 1/8th of standard dose and they do change your personality and behavior. They work in different ways but most of them kill your empathy and some of them will make you a jerk to say the least. You are not mistaken if you notice changes after Trazodone. This is a mind-altering substance and it will change everything about you and not in a good way. Psychiatrists will deny this but psychiatrists are not your friends.

#8

I think that’s good advice for anyone anywhere.

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#9

maybe it’s due to my not perfect english. litigate, i mean litigate. before pfs i could get angry and stop. it seems that now, litigate for any reason or getting angry leads me to worsen my psychiatric symptoms.
i’d have many good reason to fight, for example against all the bad doctors who betrayed me, starting with my dermatologist who doesn’t answer my email or my phone calls anymore.

yes, as i said. exactly i wonder why they do it. i wonder if they really don’t believe us or are just faking. if they’re faking, why? why can’t they say “yes, looks like fin caused all this”? what are they afraid of?

#10

Psychiatrists believe that normal human emotions such as anger and grief are pathologies that need to be treated with mind-altering drugs. It is in their best financial interest to believe that. Simple as that. I have a lot to say on this subject. Hopefully I will another time.

Before PFS you didn’t have your life destroyed so your anger and emotions in general were not as strong and painful. Add widespread denial of the harm that’s been done to you (similar, for example, to what sexual abuse victims experience) and you get psychiatry’s favorite opportunity for victimization of the victims. I repeat what I said earlier - your anger is completely normal. If you didn’t have scorching anger in the face of what’s happened to you there would definitely be something wrong with you. The question is how to deal with the anger. And I can tell you (from a scientific - theoretical and empirical - but also personal point of view) that drugs is not the way to go.

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#11

you are a smart guy sibelio

#12

my psychiatrist works for the public health, so all the other doctors i saw. if they choose to not trust us, the reason must be something else.

#13

I am talking about psychiatry as a field - it has constructed an entirely self-serving pseudo-scientific paradigm that pathologizes and then medicalizes human distress.

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#14

I had a stressful day yesterday and argued with a supplier. In the afternoon, I had fatigue and anxiety which usually does not happen. Taken further, and if already anxious and tired, it could have led to depression and suicidal thoughts.
This point to adrenal fatigue: the adrenal glands are supposed to release cortisol when we feel stress. If they are exhausted, they can’t produce it and we get symptoms from it.

I’m currently reading this book which deals specifically on adrenal fatigue:

If you want, i’ll keep you posted on what he suggest to fix it.

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#16

if i want? i’d love it!

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#17

Uh, and i have fatigue again… i thought i had fixed it…