I’ve tried to stay positive about my situation so far but I’m coming to the end of my rope here and need some advice or help. I had horrible depression, anxiety, insomnia intermittently through the first 3 - 3.5 months, but overall I was able to ride it out and felt I was making some progress on everything but sleep through significant diet and exercise. I was OK with my situation if not really enjoying my life.
However I just had another crash and my emotions and joy in everything has been taken away entirely, 100%. With this my libido dropped to zero and I have pretty much complete ED. This wasn’t a problem previously. For past few weeks my body has been in and out of this state, for first week it was completely gone. 2nd week I had 3 out of 7 days 80-90% back to normal in all aspects (emotions, libido, visual arousal, everything). This past week I’ve had only two evenings of normality and it’s now been 3 days since I’ve felt anything.
Immediately prior to this the anxiety raised to almost unbearable levels and I was not in good shape. Then suddenly I felt better towards the end of that day as had happened a few times before, but this was preceded by hot flashes a few days leading up to. This lead into the cycle of feeling better and feeling nothings going through now.
This is unbearable. I have no joy for anything to break up the general horribleness of it all. Additionally, I now have some light brain fog which was not there before. I have to know that some improvement is possible as I know I’m still early in. Will I ever find ANY joy in life again on any level? I just want to hug my kids and wife again and feel something at least. I want to enjoy something small, like a video game or a book to at least give me some reprieve from this. To hell with sex, I can live without that although from my experience this seems like a package deal. It all comes and goes together.
Did anyone go through a similar episode like mine? I feel like my body is on a giant roulette wheel right now and I don’t know where it will stop “good or bad” but right now there’s a lot more bad spaces than good. Is it possible my body will settle somewhere that is at least a life worth living? I can barely keep it together currently.