Acne destroyed my life. What is the meaning behind this?

Im fucking 21 and still have cystic acne on my face. I still have breakouts and they leave scars behind whatever i do. Acne literally destroyed my life and made me to use Roaccutane when i was 16. Then everything started like a domino effect. I became who i am because all of this today. I can’t even cry or be sad about all of this anymore. Everything is just unfair.

I look at my face on the mirror with red spots and acne. And then i look into my damaged sexuality. It is almost a joke how much people bear on their shoulders. People get depressed just because of few small pimples on their face and here i am with all of this. It makes me so angry and resentful. I use benzoyl peroxide but it won’t work. Nothing works. Im fucking 21 and this acne took me two precious things i had. My looks and my amazing sexuality. It is like big fucking joke. What should i do really? What road should i seek? What universe is trying to tell me? Im at totall loss. I don’t even know if laser treatments will cure my acne scars if they even go away in the first place.

Now i have a date with this amazing girl at Friday and due to my Proviron cycle my face is filled with red acne. It is like universe is literally fucking with me for fun. I feel like cursed. Literally cursed on all fronts… Anyone feels like this too? Im just rambling.

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Do u have a dry skin or oily skin? Have u tried applying Gram flour paste with castor oil? Worked best for me. I used to apply castor oil for 3 hrs then wash it, then apply a thin gram flour paste for 15mins…after washing i applied a Kojic Acid cream. Made my skin perfect in 3 months.

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Most PFS don´t feel anything at ealy stages, they are like a machine or dead. You are in the next level. You are feeling something. For me it is a positive effect. feeling frustation, angry and crying is a good think and point to a person who has not the feeling destroyed.

You are young and have much more health to recovery. Many people with PFS haven’t courage to write your own history here.


Try a ketogenic diet

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I’m so sorry to hear bout this! I also work as a esthetician and I’d love to make some recommendations to you about a skincare routine. Acne/skin problems are not a one size fits all solution, so it may take some time to figure out what’s best for you. You are also young. Generally as we get older our skin evens out naturally, so you do have time on your side.

I find people with serious skin issues tend to try the “more is more” approach to healing–using too many harsh chemicals and exfoliants on their skin–and it actually makes their problems worse. Acne is both a combination of clogged pores AND inflammation. You must soothe your skin. Also consistency is important with skin care. You cannot try one thing this month and another next month and expect to see results. Skincare takes time. At least 2-3 months to see full impact of your regimen.

That being said, I’d like to offer you some advice as far as skincare.

These are the things you should do every day, twice a day:
Cleanse (wash your face with a GENTLE cleanser)
Moisturize (even if you are oily-- always moisturize your skin)

Some good, affordable products I’d recommend are:
Cerave Foaming Face Wash (if more oily skin)
Cerave Hydrating Cleanser (if more dry)
Vanicream Unscented Gentle Facial Cleanser
Free and Clear Liquid Cleanser

The key here is simple, minimal, gentle ingredients. This means NO fragrance or essential oils or acids. Spend 30-60 seconds gently lathering your skin with cleanser before rinsing it off with lukewarm water. Not hot, not cold.

Then you can pat off excess moisture, or not. But you should always moisturize your skin while it is STILL DAMP or WET. This locks in moisture and prevents excess drying/irritation.

Some gentle moisturizers I’d recommend are from those same brands:

They are all found at Walmat/drug stores and are under 10 dollars depending on where you live. (If you are in the US). If you cannot access these brands, just look for cleansers/moisturizers targeting people with sensitive skin/rosacea/eczema. with NO added alcohols, fragrances, or essential oils.

If you sweat a lot one day or get extra dirty, wear makeup or SPF (Which you should always wear when in the sun), then I recommend cleansing twice at night. Wash your face once, then again. Don’t miss your hairline or under your jaw. You could also, for your first cleanse, use an oil-based cleanser or micellar water. I always recommend Sensibio H20 from Bioderma. Or the frangrance free gentle oil cleanser from Neutrogena for a drugstore option. Because oil breaks down oil.

Now for acne treatment. For serious cystic acne you should talk to your dermatologist about getting a prescription strength retinoid (Tretinoin) and clindamycin. This is a powerful combination of anti-bacterial and retinoid which helps with healing and turning over skin. You start on a low concentration once per week, and slowly work up to using it every day, once per day, at NIGHT. A pea sized amount for the whole face is plenty. You should put it on last after your moisturizer has absorbed into your skin and your skin has FULLY DRIED (about 20 minutes). Do not apply to wet skin. You may get worse before you get better with this treatment. But you will get better. Some people get dry, flaky skin or even more pimples than usual when they first start this treatment. It is perfectly normal. Don’t let this scare you into stopping. Persevere. Your skin WILL adjust and improve.

After you are fully adjusted to that treatment, your skin is not irritated by it, and you are starting to see some improvement, you may introduce an acid or chemical exfoliant to your routine in the morning, 1-3 times per week as your skin can handle without irritation, and eventually, maybe, building up to every day IF NEEDED. I recommend Salicylic Acid at a concentration of 2% (the brand Paula’s Choice has a wonderful toner for this.) But please do not do all of this at once, or start using the topical treatments every day out of haste. You must be patient and take your time or you will just irritate your skin further.

Diet is also important. Drink a lot more water than you normally do, and move toward a clean, healthy diet. Avoid dairy, gluten, and processed sugars. Fruit, vegetables, lean proteins are your friend. It truly could be a food allergy or intolerance. So eliminate inflammatory foods and see if you notice a change.

Other important lifestyle changes:
Do not touch your face. Do not pick your acne or pop your pimples. This will lead to scarring and further clog your pores. Avoid touching your face as much as you possibly can. Even if you have a big whitehead: DO. NOT. POP.

Also, wash/change your pillowcase every 2-3 days. They are generally cotton and collect bacteria much like a tshirt or underwear. Sleeping on a dirty pillowcase will clog your pores.

If you’re looking for online resources on skincare/what to buy/what ingredients are and what they do, I recommend checking out Dr. Dray on YouTube. She is a board certified dermatologist and does many explanations on skin conditions, product reviews, and ingredient Q&As.

You must have faith and stay consistent. Doing this may take 2-3 months or more to see results. You are strong- you can do this! This is a long game you’re playing, but if you commit to healing your skin I guarantee you in a years time you will completely transform your complexion. Good luck!

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I had severe acne and took Accutane for 8 months. It was a complete fucking waste of time. The fix was in an elimination diet. Scale your diet back to only leafy greens + chicken + mayo. Rice, if you need some carbs. Eat only that for a few weeks, then reintroduce stuff until you find what is causing the problem.

In answer to your question, though, unfortunately there is probably no meaning. You will need to find meaning or create it in some other domain in your life. Try to get into nature, walk around, do some light cardio, look at some art, enjoy some food, relax. Yes, we have a stupid fucking condition. We are trying to untangle this. Meanwhile, you will need to create some meaning for yourself.


Two answers:

  1. no meaning
  2. something you create yourself: “overcoming this issue despite all your fears and negative emotions will give you strength others don’t have to do more extraordinary things”

You have to come up with the meaning, and use it to do something bigger in your life

Otherwise there is no meaning

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