Same situation here. My condition has generally held steady for the past 19 years, with a slowly gradual decline and a downturn in 2002 (after stopping TRT and starting sertraline) and a few upswings during 2006-2010. Early 2015 wasn’t bad either for some reason. I would consider myself in the middle of the spectrum in regards to sexual side effects. I would get sporadic morning wood and could at least function when the time came with some manual encouragement. Emotional (emotionless) symptoms have always been pretty bad, compared to how I remember feeling. I also had trouble with pretty severe daytime fatigue and needing too much sleep to feel rested up until a few years ago.
Not sure what happened, but for the past month I have been having trouble falling asleep and waking after 4 hours sleep, feeling as if it is 3 in the afternoon. No feeling of tiredness during the day, or before bed. I can tell my mind is suffering because I have been making mistakes at work and while driving. After the first week of sparse sleep, horrible intrusive thoughts about things that have occurred over the past ten years have overtaken my mind. This, combined with prospects for more of the same in the coming years, has led to repeated thoughts of suicide. I have been going through several-hour stretches of derealization, where nothing appears as it should. Background light from my computer reflecting off of the walls in my living room has been enough to keep me awake, even with my eyes closed. This is very unusual, as I can normally fall asleep with a light on in the room if I’m tired enough.
I have also only had one full (near full) erection over the past 3 weeks. Other than that, it has been shrivelled-up. Absolutely Zero libido. Since the initial recovery, there has always been at least a small spark of libido in the background, until now. I have also been having the sensation of urine or something stuck in my urethra, about midway up my penis. There has also been an occasional dull ache in my penis/prostate (can’t tell for sure). The numbness has become extreme, where manual stimulation will not even get it up.
Zero feelings of sexual pleasure or emotional pleasure.
My skin and hair has become oily too, which has usually correlated with feeling a bit better in the past. Not this time.
This is my lowest point since stopping TRT and going on sertraline back in 2002. I can’t for the life of me figure out what triggered this, with maybe the exception of taking SAM-e and methylcobalamin during August. I felt no different while taking them and this new nightmare didn’t begin for me until early September. But we all know that trouble can start after the fact. Perhaps this can be a warning to others thinking of taking SAM-e and/or methylcobalamin to tread carefully.
I really hope this is only a temporary “mini crash”. I’ve had downturns in the past that I have snapped back from, but nothing even close to this. Also found myself in the mindset of “maybe this will get worse before it gets better”, but learned long ago not to fool myself this way. I just hope it doesn’t last much longer or get any worse.
@Greek: Pretty bad when two of the mods here are going through a patch like this. Just keep your head up and continue on. That’s all I know to do.
