…
.
I don’t get it; what are your actual side effects?
Sorry, but your story is very convoluted. Overall, it was very difficult to read and I’m left wondering the same thing as UK20. Are you still suffering?
If you are , start with a blood test. Try to include as many on the list below as possible. I put the ones in Bold that IMO you should be sure to include. Ge the test done between 8-8:30am(when Men’s hormones are highest)
Get it done at Quest Diagnostics or another highly regarded lab.
Then come back and post your results.
Total Testosterone
Free TestosteroneBioavailable Testosterone
Androstenedione
Androstenediol
DHT (not accurate compared to Adiol-G)
3alpha-diol G (Androstanediol glucuronide-- “Adiol-G” for short): metabolite of DHT, measures 5AR-II activity
Androsterone glucuronide (another metabolite of DHT that measures 5AR activity)
Estradiol (E2)
Estrone (E1)
Total Estrogens
LHFSH
DHEA-s
Cortisol
CortisoneCorticosterone
Deoxycorticosterone
Aldosterone
SHBG
Prolactin
Progesterone
Pregnenolone
17-OH Progesterone
17-OH Pregnenolone
Albumin
ACTH
PSATSH
Free T3
Free T4
IGF-1IGF-BP3
CBC or FBC (Complete Blood Count/Full Blood Count)
LFT (Liver Function Tests - AST, ALT, GGT, Bilirubin, etc.)
…
We’re here because of this:
If you experienced these problems after taking and quitting the drug, and the timeline of the syndrome, then you should consider posting here. If not, then your issues are probably unrelated to the drug.
What are you even talking about here?
Huh?
Please use basic, normal language and concepts so we can understand what you are talking about.
Nobody knows what a “5 star demon is”, nor does such a concept exist in medical literature or even day to day talk, that I’m aware of.
FYI, this isn’t a religious forum so please keep such types of discussion to a minimum – this is first and foremost a place for scientific discussion and support.
Not trying to be hard on you, just trying to make sense of your story.
…
Okay Salinger, get those blood tests done and report back.
hey guys. my whole past year has been a complete waste. i’m a year out of college with a good degree from a good university. i now have so many complexes mentally, physically and emotionally because of all this. they say start doing the things you use to love but its just not the same anymore. i cant even listen to my favorite music. anyone got any good advice on where to start? i just feel like anything from here on out is going to be fake; try to act like i use to act? because when i do start it is from ground ZERO. i know other people have been in my spot and somewhat worked their way back up and more.
I feel so much HATE for what this drug has done to me it is eating me alive. Suicides have been reported since 2002 and they’re still pushing this drug on the market. I took this drug in 2008 and you would think by then some word might have gotten out. But nope my dermatologist made me believe it was the magical pill that would solve balding. And when I report what all I have been through because I followed his advice he says “It’s just you”. That pisses me off that he knows nothing about the number of men that have had their lives destroyed by this drug. The physical, mental and emotional anguish I have been living in this past year has been almost unbearable. Let alone living in shame. These psychological imprints will NEVER be healed, I will never be the same, all over nothing and could have been easily avoided if I would have done my own homework instead of trusting a doctor. There’s nothing to learn from this experience because it’s not a mistake, its a fuck up.
Damn straight
I just realized my 4year old nephews balls are bigger than mine. Hahaha. Following my mental melt down I honestly feel like they shrunk more. I was just thinking the other day how me and my cock use to be best friends. We were always in sync. Now he’s my woste enemy. I’m so fucked. Does anybody else feel like times passes differently now? My world use to be loud while my mind was quiet. Now my world is quiet and my mind is loud. Always just one step behind life.
Take some time away from the board. Or just read without posting. You will feel better.
Just to clarify. D. Holiday confessed to me that he is fine now and that it was past issues from his childhood that had affected him.
You have to admit, the stuff he was coming out with was pretty strange.
If that’s the case, ask him to post as such on this thread so we can be done with it.
He’s probably getting on with life. He told me that so, there you go.
Alright guys i’ve taken a break from this site…I’ve made so much progress that my immediate family is having a hard time coping with the change because I was in SUCH-BAD shape for so long. For starters before I decided to be DEFIANT. I lived with this condition from jan 2008 to March 2010 and then shit hit the fucking fan mentally…
- suffered being asexual since 2008
- lost a TON of money because all this bullshit
- went into 4 detox units and 2 psych units – Shrinks and Therapist told me I was schizophrenic / enigma ( avoid confronting your problems to fucking BULL-DIKES because they love you like this and they will be extremely biased)
- lost my job
- lost all respect from EVERYONE including myself and self-respect
- started experiencing homosexual urges for the first time in my life
- drank FAR too much
- seriously accepted the fact that I was trapped psychologically as my 10 year old self
- experienced constant-throbbing anxiety the past 1.5 years
- lost every mental function…i could hardly comprehend anything
- i honestly felt like a creature/leper
-in all honesty prolly took 40 showers and brushed my teeth 40 times during 1.5 years - penis and balls shriveled up
- NIGHTMARES…there was NOOOOO escape
- entertained suicidal and homicidal thoughts…i had a great plan for my derm because i felt much hatred towards him and wanted to make a point…i still plan on going back to visit him…not sure if i should punch him or kiss him…guess time will tell but I’m very confidant in how my life is turning around…and if I can turn this shit around I can do FUCKING ANYTHING
The 3rd of October I decided to do just about fucking anything and was ready to accept just about anything than the life I was living…pardon if I come across yelling victory but I NEVER thought I would make it this far and I would really like to help other that are in my old position…that person is DEAD…RIP FUCKING DEAD…NEVER BE BACK
As of today, before I get into OPERATION GEOMETRY …this is where I’m at
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most importantly i have my head, heart and soul humming again ready to fix my reality in time
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i have more depth than i have ever had in my entire life
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i’m sharper on every level mentally than ever before …which i am very thankful
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i now view everything in angles and realize had this not happened i would have been very cocky, prideful and arrogant prolly fucking every girl that looked at me == in my eyes got a fucking degree in engineering because of this internal alchemy shit
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the past week i’ve had sexual urges and get turned on by porn…get rock hard…i honestly believe my dick has grown a half inch (yeah i measured and i was at 7.5 back when and now im pushing 8…small gift perhaps???)
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my balls have increased in size…feel MUCH more full…perhaps larger than before…no bullshit
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everything just hangs better…i constantly feel full again…whole as a man…feel anger coming from a pure source
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I got into trouble the other night because ( don’t judge )…my hot younger cousin was over and i swear she was throwing me signs/vibes…it was hard to judge though cause I didn’t know if i was picking up on urges I haven’t felt or if she was really teasing me…so I was watching porn and I couldn’t fucking take it anymore…she was laying in the living room…we were both up at 6 am…I just wanted to test my levels so I called her in my room while I was watching porn and my dick was out…i went in to kiss her and pulled back cause of morals and played it off like a jackass…shes 22 and she told her mother …i still think she was teasing me and just starting shit to see how I’m going to react…i really did just wanna make-out but I’m glad I didnt cause I don’t know how far I would have went because i felt so fucking horny deep down ( honestly felt like i was growling on the inside ) and I don’t know what the fuck I would have done had she given me an inch…her mother wasn’t really mad at me because she knows how I am…i really feel NEW to the world once again and there are no labels/definitions on anything…i see everything raw ( angles) so I gotta watch that cause i could get into trouble
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completely confident that I could fuck at any time - haven’t yet because i’m not ready to let anyone get to know me on any level …plus its not even that big of a deal to me anymore…everything that i lost i have gotten back and much more thankful…working on my social phobias - i got hurt a lot by human beings…have a lot of scars from all this…but there is NO way in hell a girl or anyone could ever fuck with me after my pilgrimage into hell this past 1.5 years
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learned a lot about human nature…learned what TRUST means
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stay completely aware of my surroundings and personal growth – everyday my spirit grows which changes my mentality and in turn changes the way I view things in my reality and things i want to accumulate during this life
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don’t trust doctors anymore…really don’t trust anyone anymore…this face is ICE-COLD from here on out…wanna get to know me bend over yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh
alright so before i start on the SPIRIT of the human being and its angles…take this into consideration
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i was very lucky i had an opportunity to completely break myself off from REALITY
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had resources to aid my healing
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don’t have kids and not married…i could go as LOW as I wanted without much impact on significant others
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i was in VERY bad shape…suicidal
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i’m a fucking libra so i have many levels…all this shit just multiplied the number of levels i had…so every level I had was defeated and i let all of them define me as an individual…prolly why people thought i was schizophrenic
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i’ve realized i have to stay balanced constantly…staying in between my hell and my dream…keeping me aware
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i tend to analyze and pick apart everything…but i eventually figure shit out YO
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this situation looks so intimidating because the two points: BRAIN and DICK are filled to the brim with doubt/fear/labels/time/doctors/big words/clusterfuck of emotions
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i believe part of the reason doctors/diagnosis exist is to cap-off your SPIRIT…DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT – SPIRIT CONQUERS ALL!!!..having SPIRIT makes you FUCKING DEFIANT…when you let nothing define your SPIRIT you are FUCKING DANGEROUS … and i don’t give a fuck what they tell me after all the shit i proved wrong
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ask the english gents about being defiant
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im really questioning everything anybody has ever told me…does the human mind-body have the capability of levitating?..these are the questions i’m asking now because of how impressed I am with my progress and how simple things are with angles…and i won’t take any of it personally or have pride cause i’ve realized everything can be taken away at anytime
before anything
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you have to get your HEAD - HEART - SOUL back before you can get your SPIRIT back
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before you can make any progess…go ahead and accept this condition for the rest of your life…stop letting it DEFINE you
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go ahead and accept any reality…that is if the one you’re in right now is not very good or you believe you COULD have had a better one
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let go of all regrets…just say FUCK IT!!!..if i came back stronger anybody can…i was scarred but i turned them into stripes cause i’m not jaded anymore
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you guys ever notice that giving blood is more painful mentally/physically than getting a tattoo when both are very similar…if anything a tattoo hurts worse…this is because you understand and completely accept getting a tattoo…you reject giving blood because of the idea behind it – all just angles – went to the dentist the other day and it intimidated me plus i’ve made connections that dentist = pain… drills/sharp-shit/clanking and in turn it was painful because i REJECTED everything about it…had I NOT already labeled my about-to-be experience and completely ACCEPTED the situation and pain it would have been PAINLESS…this whole world is defined…some words bigger and more intimidating than others…and in turn the world defines and intimidates you
another example: what hurts worse at the moment???..exchanging punches to the arm with one of your friends ==== OR==== getting unexpectedly pinched by someone???
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the ONLY reason you are still suffering is because this situation is labeled and the expectations you have for yourself…DROP IT ALL
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pretend that ED is your own personal demon…ive realized my personal demon started long before i took propecia and it simply attracted it…only i would ever understand that…thats a novel for another day
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COMPLETELY ACCEPT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW
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all these things effecting your SPIRIT/attitude/lifestyle are FUCKING LIES …I AM FUCKING LIVING PROOF SHRINKS FUCK YOU
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Accept then defeat this shit
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use this handicap presently to grow your spirit…only then can you conquer it…ONLY THEN…you have to get yourself bigger than this issue…as important as a sneeze…re-program your mind…its all yours you can do with it as you wish…ive even questioned if gay men who accept themselves ( which i respect) are living a lie and are oblivious to the fact they could re-define themselves…your life do what you want with it
-----------by the way i almost accepted my fate, i was about to let someone fuck me in the ass and then kill myself…thats how i viewed myself and situation…besides this site i will take that to the grave. -
YOU HAVE TO PRETEND THAT TIME DOES NOT EXIST…in all reality time doesn’t exist it is just captured…manipulate time/reality…don’t think of dates…just concentrate on GROWING YOUR SPIRIT FROM INSIDE-OUT…start from NOTHING cause thats what really defines your spirit…don’t buy/do shit to make yourself feel better cause your reaching and not bringing ( as said i’m very lucky i was in a position to do this…degree obtained, fall back IRA fund, parents houses, etc.)
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i believe everyone may have a different formula but you will figure it out if you really start…know your levels and what defines you as a person…what does define you?..cause none of it is true…nothing on this earth belongs to you and nothing should define you…take pride but never have pride
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you HAVE to start enjoying LIFE so it will begin to ENJOY YOU…thats a universal truth i lost site of…and no matter what you always deserve to enjoy life, don’t listen to your lizard brain
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if your attracting negative energies its only cause YOU ARE IN TUNE with that energy
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start pushing out as much POSITIVE ENERGY + SPIRIT as you can…make sure its REAL to a degree or else it doesn’t count
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slowly a whirlwind will begin within your soul and that POSITIVE energy (your soul and the world) will vibrate and will breath you in and out with time…another universal truth…the deeper this whirlwind goes the deeper it will go into your subconscious…your dreams may begin to change cause mine did…how i handle situations etc…i did expect this…
=WORK ON THINGS CONSCIOUSLY…watch your actions…watch your attitude…emotions…EVERYTHING…don’t over do it just take baby steps…don’t over or under compensate for anything if you lost some things along the way…for example I started brushing my teeth a little over a month ago…re-establishing relationships that mean more than pussy right now…that will cum…SMALL victories…small steps will turn into quantum leaps
=the more you work on things CONSCIOUSLY it will eventually go into your SUBCONSCIOUS…in turn your CONSCIOUS will become REAL and will contain love…those two elements will begin to HUM and bounce off each other…BONDS
head = how you perceive yourself-reality-situations-present-future-life
heart = what you love…what your willing to defend
soul = what you love…what your willing to fight
head+heart+soul = SPIRIT == defiant level…aka what you are capable of conquering
- once you made up your mind you would rather manipulate time/reality rather than sitting in a doctors office watching someone take one look at you, labeling you and calling you crazy…try what i did if you have the resources and have the sanity and patience.
-once you have written out your road map…head heart and soul are beginning to hum…take that small amount of spirit you have and just make that bitch grow…disconnect yourself from EVERYTHING…ed,mentality,personality,attitude EVERY FUCKING THING JUST FUCKING GO WITH IT…just get over the hill…keep in mind i was in fucking pitiful shape…i would put money on the fact i was the worst on this site…besides RANDY RIP…by the way im taking responsibility for keeping him alive by some of the things i figured out about his personality…i believe Randy got in such bad shape because he was too young to be intelligent…he prolly had a very high IQ because of his trade given his age…i honestly believe he got hit hard by the ED problem mentally and he felt he had to over-compensate by living up other areas of his life including ecstasy…he was 20 when he took propecia and 22 when he killed himself…that drug is a double edged sword…his ed disorder became so traumatic he ignored it for two years while accumulating mindsets and habits directly caused by his insecurity ( demon…sorry MeW)…making him a slave…by doing that and rolling only hardened up the demon which defined him in ways he prolly wasn’t aware of…RIP
- go on FUCKING spirit runs…i would go 3 or 4 days at a time without sleeping …while smoking a bunch of pot to get my spirits up while listening to DEEP VIBRATION songs…rap is always a good choice…jump from one thing to another…it wont be progress in the material world but it will growth on so many more levels
-talk to yourself…talk to yourself as if you don’t exist you are just awareness watching things happen around you
- sounds soooooo gay but pick a spirit animal…i know it sounds cliche but its true…when you don’t consider yourself human pick a fucking badass beast…throw some imagination in this shit…i chose a sabertooth…i would go on walks and walk as if i had the biggest cock and balls in the world…always stay on your toes…proper-complete actions…i don’t even think about it anymore…also things are easier for me now because my reality has some sun in it now plus I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING HOLY MY BALLS AND COCK ARE BIGGER NOW…i mentally focus any energy (good or bad) into my balls…everyday my balls are growing…i make deep hums that focus from my balls…ANYTHING TRY FUCKING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING…KEEP YOUR FOCUS AND YOUR HEAD DOWN WITH YOUR EYES INTO THE FUTURE NEVER LOOK BACK IF YOU JUST CAME FROM HELL…STAY BETWEEN YOUR HELL AND DREAM TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES AND TO BRING YOUR AWARENESS TO IT"S PEAK
Once you can keep yourself at peace ( balanced and to scale) and find bliss in NOTHING with your given reality and circumstance…then you can start to fine tune things…ALWAYS BE THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING…THAT WAY YOU CAN BRING BLESSINGS INTO YOUR LIFE…ALL VICTORIES ARE THE SAME YOU ARE JUST LOOKING AT THEM AT DIFFERENT ANGLES…actually i picked up smoking cigs through this and you would think after how far i’ve come in such a short amount of time that would be a breeze…nope just as hard…all victories are the same at the end of the day…if some have more importance than others that only means you have ego…sure i have set some goals for this new life but i’m not attached to them…honestly anywhere will be better than the place right behind me
===working on your horny level should really be the last step in completing your SPIRIT growth…so here are some tips
= if you are asexual more than likely you are now intimidated by everything that sex brings…claps,noises,moans,tits,pussy,black guys…you have to get bigger than all of that…once you start feeling your spirit grow everything on this planet becomes less intimidating…thats a fact…confidence is material/superficial – spirit is yours by nature and cannot be defined by doctors-- thats God-given my friend…confidence backed by SPIRIT is fucking deadly…and SPIRIT fueled by NOTHING is lethal…watch a porn with a guy you know well your naturally better at sex than he is…pick a fucking dork…talk down to that guy…tell that girl she has such a nice tight little pussy and you would put a fucking hurtin on it…start accepting the noises/moans with open arms and just have faith you will get there one day and keep plowing…don’t put a time limit on it or else it will take longer…don’t bust a nut…do your thing and keep the nut…constantly use NOTHING to grow your SPIRIT…use EVERYTHING to grow your balls…speak POWER over your FUCKING COCK…use words like HARD/STRONG/LOG/THROBBING…watch the porn and mentally see yourself fucking the girl…your the best cock she has ever had…mentally humping and hitting dat shit doggy style…not saying go fuck a hole in the wall but you know what i mean…keep in mind girls have 100000000 more insecurities than guys…even if its a half-ass boner keep yourself right at about the point your about to nut…even if its not anything what it use to be…keep it at the about-to-nut point and accept everything about that porn…
- i got some stuff off amazon called XL by metaherbal 3 month supply that seems to be integrating well with my mental exercises…after some porn i usually get in front of the mirror and watch myself jerk off and get completely relaxed…make deep moans and hums and visualize owning some girls tight ass…even if it takes something sick and twisted to reach your sexual core to bring down that block…the point is to tap into it…work on mental morals later…don’t get yourself fixed then go splurge on your new sexual fantasies that get you off thats not what i’m saying…cause you can’t just go around raping people/animals
I tried to re-program my mind a couple years ago by fucking my x-girlfriend and some other girls i was comfortable with while using all sorts of shit…bahahha look where it got me…it was superficial cause i didn’t get down deep…i guess everybody is different though
i can personally say this angle in getting yourself back “on-line” is much more comfortable and potent…swallow your fucking pride and tough out this phase of your life so you can make your transition into your new life …you will be more thankful for it…if anything i think guys that had this problem will make better fuckers/lovers because it got taken away from us…already i now notice more things on girls that I’m attracted to in the past couple weeks…horny urges too…and i’m not saying that as a cop out it’s just how i am now…i’ve changed a lot in a month…i don’t want people , even my family, get to know me because i am constantly changing…in a couple days i’ll prolly grow on other levels and change the way i view things…like i said I’m a FUCKING LIBRA…dont hate…but i think everyone when fed up with their self and with their reality has the ability to break away from reality and break themselves into levels…its hard but its the most efficient way to do this…and if anyone says you gotta get a change of scenery is a fucking moron…the same place where my hell was is now transformed into heaven again and I didn’t step a food outside the door…internal alchemy will lead to external alchemy but you can’t rush shit
i now don’t know what i’m capable of…thats good and bad…i know one thing for sure though I am no longer afraid of death…i do believe in hell on earth and i will kill myself before i ever go back to the place i just crawled out from under…im once again excited about my life but im still startled but at least my foundation is there…right in the middle of FEAR and AWE…perfect place for a warrior
this whole episode has really made me think deeply about life and death…what it takes to be a man i guess you could say…and I decided a MAN can cope with any reality, change around its angles and find peace within it…good realities lead to good realities when integrity is instilled…and thats what everyone is really after at the end of the day…PEACE…im tired of expectations on where and what i should be…i’ll get there…i have a dream now, never had one before…two weeks ago i realized that i might be afraid of what i might see in that person i was or if i could ever live with knowing how i acted for so long in shame…but now its more about i’m afraid of what i might be…only because good things are so much harder to accept than bad things…i’ve added more assets about myself because of all this bullshit…never in a million years thought i would say that…
from here on out NOTHING will be the most important and at the bottom of my levels and the only thing i will ever define myself by…i don’t have children so i can’t relate on that level…i have thought about that though…i know exactly what happened when i mentally crashed though and shrinks would not agree cause they are textbook dumbasses with high IQ’s and good memories…the impotence problem i let rest as the most important and bottom of all my levels obliviously…when that got rocked it sent a fucking shock wave up through all my levels and turned them all cold…those level, which i defined myself by (which were positive mirrors) , were DEFEATED and turned into negative mirrors which is how i viewed myself for so long…mirrors are double edged sword and if you define yourself by even the good ones you have pride…i felt as if I had sooo many demons i didn’t know where to turn…then i understood it was just 1 demon telling me a bunch of lies …accept it then defeat it while walking in faith
lastly but most importantly i would like to apologize for bashing anyones beliefs…that was very wrong on my part…before all this bullshit i prided myself on individuality and loved the idea of being defiant, especially towards the church crowd because i have seen a lot of hypocrisy in it…i lost everything and lost the most important thing to me which was the originality of my individuality and the infinite wisdom i thought it brought by stepping outside the box…maybe i did think it was cool…i really thought bliss was found by buddhist and agnostic ways…i’ve realized i was young and had much more pride than i thought…stuff like that has depth but cannot reach NOTHINGNESS because it contains pride cause it comes from you and it will never bring the true wisdom that my Father has in store…i can still be the defiant person i was but i will abide from here on out with all the humility in the world and i will not take this next life for granted…
i still don’t believe in hell…sure hell on earth is real…but i believe there is always forgiveness after death and peace on earth is always willing to be given if you act accordingly and play by his rules while asking for sublime wisdom to alter your reality and decision making…not expecting a 100% peaceful life and realize things are gonna be thrown at me but i am on my tippy toes till the day i die and VERY grounded…i now understand my personality and ins/outs better than ever before…i understand alchemy and the art of breaking yourself into levels/scales until you can become ONE again…who knows this time next week i have no idea where i will be mentally because each day i grow stronger…i grow bigger and sit very low…take all this as you will and i really could give two fucks whether you believe a word im saying…after this post im out just being on here gives me an eerie feeling…but i told myself when the time was right i would give some words of advice…i kinda wanted to wait a few more weeks but i want this propecia-life to ultimately die…you just have to get to a corner that will give you an inch then take the fucking mile…and if you don’t understand me you stand under me…you are just like all the shrinks that have no imagination and look at everything by text book definitions, big words, time and fear.
SOME SHOUT OUTS
=broken_pecker – best of luck to you…we caught each other at a bad time but you seem like a kickass guy that deserves everything…sorry for the bitching
=luckfax – loved your sense of humor …thanks for making me laugh
=UK20 – stick out college and break yourself into levels…put as much importance on a boner as you would taking a shit and i promise you will make progress
= whoever told me to buy the book The Essential Marcus Aurelius I appreciate it I can enjoy reading again so i got a copy i will read soon
well there it is…now i really can’t come back on this site no matter what happens…i’ve already set my extremes and im not afraid anymore cause i’ve made my deal…RIDE OR DIE…im either very wrong about things or very right…ima stay in the middle and hope for the best cause thats all i can do…and in all honesty thats all i feel like doing…i just dont give a fuck anymore
ps…i ran out of pot…this novel would have been much better…and if i was asked how exactly i got to this spot i’m at i would say…i have no fucking idea…didn’t know what to do so i did something
one more thing…wanna know what jump started me???
–a gypsy who was completely at peace with NOTHING…saw it in his eyes
–a black man who understands levels and spirit…lots you can learn from black people cause all they had were their spirits for a long time…why do you think they wear and do half the shit they do…cause they don’t give a fuck what you think and they do that with confidence/spirit and with detachment. they could lose their millions and be completely fine
–prolly the most important ignitor …i was frustrated i was only about 4 days into the madness of Operation Geometry and i sat down at the edge of my bed…it was dark outside and there was a glowing time-clock in my room and some light coming in from the window…i started starring at both the glowing-clock and the light that was coming through the window blindes…i noticed i slowly could only see the red displaying the time on the clock…i would let my eyes rest then i would see, once again, both the glowing-clock and the light coming in through the window…i started trying to focus so i could just see the glowing clock and block out the light coming in – it DID NOT work because i was trying to MAKE it happen…then i tried to LET it happen…eventually i figured out you gotta stay right in the middle of MAKE & LET with detachment of outcomes…eventually it will just be engrained into you
– one more tip…if you are in the shape i was in which was BAD…get back up for everyone else but you
society may have made a mistake in manipulating me all these years…i want fucking revenge
Fucking hell 
It’s great that you have came back to let everyone know that you are doing better mate but let’s face it, you had/ have other issues.
Precisely. d holiday, good luck now that you’ve figured out your issues, which clearly seem to be psychological in nature considering your recent posts.
you know what MeW … i was gonna go into detail again but i know your fucking dumbass won’t keep my posts up … you know what im gonna do now ??? … im gonna create a blog site and steal all of your members cause i still have some friends on here you FUCKTARD…im not an idiot…i know you figured i would kill myself which is why you wouldn’t let us delete our posts … this place isn’t a help center … its a place for death to feed off each other … big and intimidated words and doctors who don’t give a fuck and FAT fucks like yourself … YOU HEAR ME GUYS ??? … i will make a small blog and will give any advice and IM 100% I can help you as long as you drop your pride…cheers … oh yeah jerking off has never felt so good…just got done actually … fucked a hot chick the other night with a condom on no problem … kept it hard …PROVED EVERY FUCKING DOCTOR WRONG AND MEW IS A FUCK TARD AND WANTS ALL OF YOU TO KILL YOURSELF…