19yo, going through hell at the most sexually active time of my life

Member Stories
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#1

I’m from the United States, found propeciahelp through /r/tressless, although in the post that directed me here I believe they were slandering the website lol.

I’m 19, 6’1", and around 180 lbs.

Used generic finasteride (proscar) at ~1.25 mg a day sorta intermittently (forgot to take the pills for a week here and there) from March-June of 2018. Refilled my script and took it daily consistently from August-mid October for hair loss, leaving me at a total of around 6 months of usage, with some gaps in between, was technically 18 when I started.

I quit cold turkey about 2.5 weeks ago, in late October.

I’m not sure when I first noticed the onset of sides. I didn’t feel anything besides testicular ache at first, but once that went away, everything went back to what I believed was normal. However, when I finally got to the process of losing my virginity, I was not as excited (ahem) as I should’ve been. I’ve been with three girls since, and had successful sex once. My erections are softer, I get them less often, and my libido has plummeted. I find it easy to abstain from masturbation, whereas before with my sex drive it would be nearly impossible. I’m more passive in general, and apathy infects everything.

The cruel irony of this is that all of these sides kicked in right as I was becoming sexually active. I’m 19 and may never know what it’s like to fuck like a 19 year old.

Sexual
[X ] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[X ] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[ ] Loss of Morning Erections
[X] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[ ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[X] Watery Ejaculate
[X] Reduced Ejaculate
[X] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[X] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[X] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[ ] Confusion
[ ] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[ ] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[ ] Slurring of Speech
[X] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[ ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[ ] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[X] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[ ] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[ ] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[ ] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[ ] Other (please explain)

For the past 2.5 weeks I’ve revolutionized my habits out of fear. I quit smoking and went back to the gym, I do 4 days of lifting and 2 days of HIIT swimming each week now. I supplement D3, Magnesium, Zinc, L-Citrulline, Ginseng, and a bunch of other stuff found in those libido megapill compounds meant to jack up nitrous oxide.

I’m at my wits’ end.

I’m 19 years old, finally getting lots of attention from the opposite sex, but all of a sudden it doesn’t even matter. I’ve spun elaborate tales of whiskey dick more times than I’d like to admit. At first I denied that it was the finasteride, thought it was my smoking or other habits I had, but once I quit those drug habits and quit smoking, cleaned up my diet, the problems remained. I’ve stayed off since throwing away my fin and tried supplementing with other stuff to little avail.

I feel like a weird shell of my former self. I used to have boundless energy and a crazy sex drive, a libido so high it was almost anxiety-inducing. Now I’m aloof and apathetic, I can’t bring myself to care about important things like my schoolwork (the quality of which has significantly decreased, idk if it’s brain fog or what).

As I’m typing this I can feel my brain wander and have to reread everything to make sure it’s coherent. Most days it’s incredibly hard to get out of bed, it’s humiliating to have to blow off attractive girls who want sex because I’m not sure I can perform. I can often get a softish (I’d say 80% hard) erection and have sex for a while, but after 10-15 minutes or changing positions, I’ll lose it. Condoms are not an option, I go soft instantly in those.

I still get aroused around girls, but hardly ever get a full erection, even when they’re naked lying in my bed. I get strong morning wood most of the time, and nocturnal erections too. I’ve measured my penis a few times and come to the conclusion it’s gone down in size–it used to be regularly around 6.25-6.5 depending on how the stars aligned, now it’s 6" flat most of the time.

I’m still of two minds; thanks to online gaslighting I can’t conclusively say if I have real PFS or if I’m in a death spiral of hypochondriac, psychogenic, performance anxiety-induced ED.

At this point, what does it matter? I got a referral to a urologist after a humiliating talk with one of my campus doctors, I’m going to tell him about finasteride and get some blood tests if I can. I’m probably going to buy viagra out of desperation too.

I read a lot of studies on pubmed and various reports on forums about the dopamine agonist cabergoline, which seems promising. I’ll probably order that off an Indian pharmacy too, I’ll try anything.

Anyway I feel like I’m sort of sleepwalking towards suicide. Things aren’t getting better and it’s been almost three weeks, which makes me wonder if I’m stuck like this for life. That thought is so odious to me that I’d rather end my life. If none of my last-ditch efforts make a difference that’s where I’m headed.

As a 19 year old I shouldn’t have to use viagra, let alone order generic pharmaceuticals that mess with my prolactin levels. I shouldn’t even know what any of this means. I’m going crazy. Taking finasteride was hands-down the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life. Fuck my hair.

5 Likes
#2

Hi,

I am sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately, many of us here understand too well what you are going through. Nobody should go through this ever just for taking a pill to combat hair loss. I started Fin 14 years ago. It’s a shame that this is still readily availabe and it’s a shame that there are still large parts of online communities that downplay the potential side effects and their permanence.

The good news for you is that a lot of people get better with time. Three weeks is nothing. It may take months or two years to resolve. That may sound like a disaster to you, but you would be fortunate. Others (including me) have been stuck in this condition for over a decade. Since you still have a good chance to improve naturally, refrain from drastic measures. This includes suicide but also protocols. A lot of people get worse on those. And since you mentioned Zinc, this is a red flag. Give your body time! if after some time you still want to try protocols, read up carefully on this forum. We have over a decade of documented experiments. You don’t need to repeat mistakes that have already been made.

Good luck!

6 Likes
#3

Some Great advice from Northern star absolutely first class advice.
Don’t go doing anything crazy suicide certainly isn’t something you should even thinking about your a young guy with your whole life ahead of you.
You come across as a smart guy your description of symptoms is exactly what people are use to seeing on here your in good hands don’t panic matey.
You have described everything very clearly and conclusively this really helps people to understand where your at mentally / emotionally and you have included the things that some people don’t think about like performance anxiety which is still a possibility at this point.
Best of all you have contacted a doctor and your going to see s urologist this shows me you have your head screwed on.
From where I’m standing you are an intelligent guy that’s considered your situation from every aspect and been very forward I’m taking the right steps to get this problem sorted out your already right up the ladder mate.
The main thing you have to do is keep it together try to not stress out it’s all early days mate you may just need a little time to level hormones out your urologist may arrange for blood test these don’t typically give all the answers but your on the right road by ruling things out the correct way via a doctor.
See how you get on with the urologist appointment before rushing out buying viagra the first thing to do is see what the experts say rule out any other possible issues.
At your age healing naturally is priority let’s not pave the road to further drug use.
Support through this difficult time is another thing you need either from people on this forum or maybe from your family i.e parents or brother if possible and when your ready as its an embarrassing situation on the front of things but who could possibly better than your family at your age mate.
Keep that head up mate nothing is over your doing all the right things to sort this out

2 Likes
#4

Which prolactin meds you talking here ? Also accutane sufferer btw

#5

@Northern_Star and @Baz44uk both providing great messages, I third everything they said. You’re a bright young guy with plenty to live for. It’s possible that the intermittent gaps between your usage did a number on your ARs, but there is a lot to be hopeful for. First off, you are early in your recovery. Refrain from using Viagra at the moment, this can hinder the healing process - the same applies for Ginseng. Honestly, I would just hold off on supplementing anything for a few weeks. Secondly, despite the sexual issues you are having, you can still get erect for 10-15 minutes which tells me the performance anxiety you described very well could be a stronger factor in your case over others. Third, you found this forum - this community provides a very solid foundation to discuss our issues openly and freely with no judgment. We’re all in it together and you absolutely did the right thing by reaching out and seeking counsel regarding your current state. Just hold on, don’t act out of fear as hard as it may be. I understand that going through this, specifically at your age brings an entirely different element of regret and agony. There are guys who have been dealing with this for 10+ years, one thing to be optimistic about is that you are coming off of fin during a time where a lot of information and knowledge regarding this condition is on the cusp of being unveiled. More awareness is being raised, and the community is growing. Please feel free to PM any of the active members if you feel like you’re about to do something irrational, we’re all here for you.

If you haven’t done so, make sure to file a complaint report via Medwatch to the FDA describing your experience in detail:

https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/medwatch/index.cfm?action=reporting.home

5 Likes
#6

Hey Pete, i also have done these 1 week propecia breaks. do you think that was the dangerous thing? because then my problems begun. Im scared as hell that my case is now the only one and not familiar to your case because i did the breaks and nobody can help me because i fucked my AR :frowning: i had the tip of a german hair loss forum. the admin of the forum recommended this lool. internet is dangerous guys.

#7

Yeah, taking breaks is probably a terrible idea. But it does not make your problem any different. PFS typically occurs after quitting. For some, it seems they can quit Fin without problems or with mild problems for some time, but when they get back on it and quit again the real problems start.

It was similar for me. I first quit Fin when I became depressed on it. I did not know it was (likely) the Fin that caused it. I just did not care about anything anymore and that included hairloss. I went back on Fin after the depression subsided. A year later I became depressed again and quit for good. Then the problems started. @axolotl is another notable member who had only very mild symptom after quitting the first time and ended with almost the full range of symptoms after the second time.

Yeah, going on and off Fin is a terrible idea, but the problem remains the same.

2 Likes
#8

Thank you Northern Star :kissing_heart:

#9

hope we will all get out of this mess in near future. What i haven’t mentioned yet. I felt better after local anaesthetic but only for a couple of days. and when i crashed it was like porn movies are animal documentations and orgasm hurt like crazy. but thats better. did anybody had the same after crashing? also prostatitis symptoms. And orgasm hurt like crazy.

#10

and what i want to say. thanks for this great forum and the admins but when more people claim they get pfs from cannabis or minoxidil or ketoconazol other people laughing their asses off bout this forum. and thats not fair because pfs is very real and scary.

#12

Don’t beat yourself up regarding taking breaks. I also did the same, mostly because there were occasional gaps whilst I got the next prescription. The thing to remember is that none of us knew that propecia is dangerous and none of us were advised that you don’t mess with a drug that interferes with your biology or that if you are to take that risk, understand its seriousness and don’t come on and off. We are sadly doing the job of discovering the drug’s dangers that should have been carried out by Merck, the FDA et al, but I appreciate that that is a prime example of closing the stable door once the horse has bolted.

7 Likes
#13

Thank you very much Scotsman. I really appreciate your posts here in general :blush:

1 Like
#14

This^^^^

I constantly blame myself for taking finasteride, but I think my doctor is also to blame. I even asked her if finasteride can cause persistent/permanent side effects, and she looked at me like im stupid and said of course not. I was told it was a safe drug

2 Likes
#15

Shows how ignorant doctors still are with regard to this condition and why raising awareness is important. I started to take Fin in 2004 and the knowledge just was not there, unfortunately. It’s a shame that despite all the efforts over the years to raise awareness and despite all those PFS publications, both in popular as well as scientific literature, Fin is still readily prescribed to young men for a cosmetic problem.

4 Likes