18yo looking for help. Get my hormones tested? new member

Member Stories
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#1

Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.

Where are you from (country)?

-USA

How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via link from a forum or website – if so, what page? Other?)

-Google search

What is your current age, height, weight?

-18M 5’8 160lbs

What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)?

-Finasteride and oral minoxidil

What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)?

-0.5 mg Fin 0.5 Mg minoxidil

What condition was being treated with the drug?

-Balding crown

For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years)?

-Took fin for 2 months, noticed sexual sides. stopped got better after 2 weeks then took it again a week later (this is what fucked me up). took oral minoxidil 4 months later which made things way worse

How old were you, and WHEN (date) did you start the drug?

  • 18 years old 12/2020 - 2/2021 Fin 5/2021- 6/2021 Minoxidil

How old were you when you quit, and WHEN (date) did you quit?

-18

How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)?

-cold turkey

How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects?

-after 2 weeks

What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation?

-Anxiety, disassociation, depression, weak erection, Anhedonia, lower libido, general feeling of no connection to my environment

Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.

Sexual
[x] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[x] Erectile Dysfunction
[ ] Complete Impotence
[ ] Loss of Morning Erections
[ ] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[ ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[x] Watery Ejaculate
[x] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[ ] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[x] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[x] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[x] Confusion
[x] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[x] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[x] Slurring of Speech
[x] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[x] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks
[x] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[x] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[maybe?] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[ ] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[ ] Testicular Pain
[ ] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[ ] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[x] Weight Gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)
[ ] Muscle Wastage
[ ] Muscle Weakness
[ ] Joint Pain
[ ] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[ ] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[ ] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[x] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[x] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[x] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[x] Other (please explain)
disassociation/depersonalization

What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug?

Viibryd, Pristiq, Zin, magnesium, mirtazpine, CBT, Vitamin D, CBD, THC,

If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?

  • muscle spasms

Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

After being on topical minoxidil for about a year and seeing good results I became worried about the sustainability of what had grown. went to the doc and was prescribed finasteride. took that for about 2 months. initially I had increased libido but lost any real sense of “connection” to why I found things attractive, almost in a robotic sort of way. also noticed a general lack of emotions. after 2 months I decided to temporarily stop fin and see what would happen with my sides. things returned to normal and I began to enjoy music and other things again, but after about a week I began to shed a huge amount of hair. Immediately got back on the fin (1st major fuck up) but on 1/2 the does EOD for 6 days. Initial side effects were horrible. complete lack of gut feeling when listening to music or doing things I enjoy. complete lack of libido horrible anxiety. a day of intense suicidal ideation. stayed home from school for a few days. slowly the anxiety went away after a month and libido slowly increased, but I was left with an emotionless felling in my stomach when doing things I use to enjoy. this complete ass but was manageable and I could still easily function. I went back to my derm and my blood test results were:
TSH: 0.93 (0.45 - 4.5 range)
T4: 1.53 (0.93 - 1.53 range)
B12: 565 (232 - 1245)
Folate: 8.4 (>3.0 = bad)
Test: 759.9 (263 - 916)
DHEA: 455.5 (115.3 - 459.6)
B6: 17.3 (5.3 - 46.7)
Androstenedione: 88 (27 - 152)
Vit. D: 64.8 (30 - 100)
Vit. B1: 121.2 (66.5 - 200)
Protein: 7.1 (6.0 - 8.5)
Zinc: 70 (44 - 115)
Ferritin: 75 (16 - 124)
Selenium 143 (81 - 188)
and then a basic CBC lab with normal ranges except for a high EOS
She said It looked normal and all of this should pass within 6 months and then we could try topical fin and then gave me a script for oral minox.(Looking back at it now I think she is aware of PFS but didnt event test DHT or my estrogen so idk why I trusted her) I think she was wrong looking back at my panels, I think my thyroid could be fucked. but anyway after that I took 1 dose of oral minox and felt anxiety creep back. said nope fuck that and continued to my baseline for the next month, after that I started getting concerned with my hair again (stupid af I know but Im 18 and it seemed like this would blow over and the doc said oral minox is safe and I had been applying it topically for a year so I thought it would be fine). In June I said I would commit and just take the dose and see what happens (2nd MAJOR fuck up) anxiety was higher during this time but manageable and I thought it would get better with time. around the end of the month I started getting very disconnected from my environment and chalked it up to being the weed I had been smoking to cope with the depression. Then one day after a night of heavy smoking and drinking I had the most intense dissociated panic attack of my life. I thought I was dying and it took 4 hours to calm down. I immediately quite weed and oral minox. the next week was hell I was constantly in a state of panic and disconnect but things seamed to get slightly manageable after a week. I began 7.5 mg of mirtazapine for sleep which seemed to also calm a bit of the anxiety. Things continued to be the same with random dips and flair ups. libido half way returned but it was back to this robotic sensation and my orgasms felt like nothing and would happen at 1/2 erection point. The anxiety was only manageable with CBD and the mirtazapine. my psychiatrist suggested bumping up the mirtazapine to double to dose since I seemed to react well to it. This fucked me up pretty bad but resolved after about 4 days and I was back to baseline

Fast forward to august and I moved out of town for college. Things seemed to be going ok. I was still heavily disconnected most of the time but the actual anxiety seemed to be manageable. I tried multiple other medications within this time that all gave me a bad reaction and set me back further (pristiq, viibryd, gabapentin). drinking also seemed to make it worse. there were days where I began to feel 1/4 normal again but these were followed by bad days. overall things seemed to be getting SLOWLY better until October. One weekend after coming home I felt 1/2 like my old stuff and was actually enjoying things again, granted that good stomach feeling wasn’t really there but I could tell I was enjoying stuff again. This was followed by a horrible crash that I don’t know the cause of. terrible anxiety, huge ammonts of

2 Likes
18yo M and Im ending it this week, you win Merck
#3

@wellfuckmeiguess what a heart breaking story, to go through all that at only 18 years of age!

The doc who prescribed you fin at such a young age should have her license revoked. Especially if she knew about PFS.

Sadly I cannot give you much advice on what to do. The only thing I can say is you should be real careful with antidepressants. They are ought to make things even worse for most people, hell a lot of people in this site are here due to antidepressant use.

Also be careful with antiandrogenic compounds (like minoxidil). Some susceptible people have gotten PFS from minoxidil alone.

As you’ve also noted, things usually get better with time. But you have to avoid antidepressants and antiandrogens.

Please do not take any rash decision during these hard times. But rather try to relax as much as you can, and wait out the storm. You’re not alone in this position.

Take care,

Chris

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#4

only eighteen. I hope you can recover in a few months.

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#5

Welcome to the forum @wellfuckmeiguess !

I’m sorry you had to experience all this. People here are perhaps the only ones who can understand what you’re going through.

In these first few months, I think you should try to avoid drugs and alcohol completely if you can, in order to put your body in a “level” position from which it can heal. Give at least a year and see how you feel, before trying anything drastic.

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#6

I see daily such a lot of young guys in their teenage and early twentieth experiment with oral and topical Finasterid, Dutasteride and Minoxidil on tressless rabbit, dealing with siteeffects like normal and I think not all of them with permanent effects are here .

And the young guys getting severe PFS are no warning for them. And the package leaflet don’t describe permanent withdrawal clear only can persist. Not can persist permanent or very long.

So like you I denied all the warnings, didn’t check the internet intensiv enough, believed the doctor prescribing me a safe med. And now I m fucked. My whole live is fucked.

1 Like
#7

Im done, you win Merck, you slimy fucks. I can’t continue like this anymore. My hair is going to shit, my skin is starting to look bad, people don’t find me attractive anymore. Whats the point? Why would I rather sit around and wait maybe 20-30 years for us to possibly or possibly not find a solution to this problem. I have been talking to a really cute guy for a few weeks and have hooked up with him a week ago and he’s pretty much ghosted me since I was unable to keep a hard on. I will never be able to pull someone like him again. I will be bald within 2 years and my skin is starting to look like shit, why would anyone that hot want someone like me when I look like that. Ive just started college and I see no point. Why would I waste thousands of dollars on school when I will get 0 reward/pleasure out of the outcome while putting my parents into debt when i’ll probably just kms at that point anyway. It’s pointless. I will never have a successful career with this dysfunction. My mind is shit, I feel no pleasure, only sadness, anxiety, and brain fog (if even that on a lucky day). I have only had sex twice (both after fin) and I will never get to experience how good it could have actually felt, but hey, at least I did it. I know there will be more people, but within a year I will never be able to pull a guy like him again. Why would someone so attractive with such a bright future with a great personality ever want a shriveled mess of the man I use to be. It makes no sense. I guess I might have developed feelings for him and this is the first person Ive felt this way with before, but my point still stands. I will never feel the connection that I felt with him with anyone else. And even this feeling feels tiny compared to the crushes I could feel have felt had I never taken this poison. I will be sitting here, no sex drive, depressed, ugly, short. While he will go to college get a successful career, be hot, meet more people, be able to have fun, and have a great life, all while I am here, shriveled up in my room hoping it will get better someday. Why live if you can’t be the best.

It’s been almost 7 months and things only seem to be getting worse. I could honestly handle feeling like shit and hope for a happy ending if my looks would stay, but they wont and life is now pointless. My flickering sex drive has been gone for a month now. My looks have always been my only redeeming factor for this failure of a life I have lived. People use to say I was a solid 9/10, I had PERFECT skin and hair, But now, now I have nothing, only my family and 2 friends. They will get over my loss. I know they will, my best friend killed him self when I was 14 and we recovered from that and it seems like his family has as well. I look forward to seeing him in the afterlife if it exists. Today Im going to order a respirator mask and hose adapter and connect it to a helium tank and die peacefully from asphyxiation in my car at a peaceful location. I will drain my bank account into the research forum to hopefully prevent anyone else from reaching this fate

Id rather die cute than live long enough to see myself become ugly and still just as mentally fucked. I will never find a partner I like. It is pointless to live. Oh the things id do to go back in time and fix my mistakes, but thats just the way life goes I guess. I’ve lived a good one but this is my fate now.

Goodbye forum, thank you for keeping me alive this long

-WFMIG

Edit: I’m going to stay around for a while, ill be checking into a mental hospital tomorrow. I really appreciate your kind words

#8

The media needs to start sticking some verbiage between ‘Propecia’ and ‘thoughts of suicide’. Something like “irreversible catastrophic neurological, metabolic, and hormonal disruption”. Stop implying that simply ingesting Propecia leads weak minded fools to kill themselves like witchcraft.

2 Likes
#9

Sorry you feel this way. Truly a devastating disese for such a young guy and also having love problems on top of it.

I do have the opinion that everyone is in charge of their own life and when people say “think about your family” it’s such a bad take. No one should feel the need to live just for their families sake.

But maybe you should wait a bit? I understand that you feel that you’re getting ugly, but there’s a large portion of the population who is ugly and still living fulfilling lives. Also as you age, the proportions shift as even more people become ugly. Even though you’re maybe not as good looking as before, I’m sure you’re looking better than a lot of people!

Also there’s more to life than sex and partners. After PFS I ended up shifting my priorities, I don’t chase a career like before. But I ended up getting a education and job take let me make well over my countries average salary and also I don’t need to meet a lot of people face to face.

I’ve never been suicidal because with or without PFS I’ve always been to curious about the future, so maybe I’m not the best when it comes to relating to your situation. Just trying to share another point of view.

9 Likes
#10

@wellfuckmeiguess

It is absolutely appalling what has happened to you but I really implore you to at least take a pause. Things will be at their most acute just now because of your recent experience with this guy. I’ve been subject to depression prior to finasteride use and I’m also gay and relate to that head space where by there feels like there is absolutely no hope, and this is way prior to being hit with pfs sides. Although I can’t diminish what has happened to you, I would refute this strong internal sense of absolutes that you currently have. It’s true that you have been dealt an exceptionally cruel hand, but I would really hate to think of you destroying everything because of all this. Your life at the moment isn’t what it should be, and your appearance isn’t currently what it should be either, but there absolutely will be others out there who will see you for more than you currently see yourself and will find you attractive and want to be with you. You would not even be giving some guys that opportunity of getting to know you and judging for themselves as attraction is subjective. We will most always judge ourselves hasher than anybody else, and others are much more likely to see the totality of you, rather than zero in on what you yourself are most unhappy about. As an aside, I happen to like shorter guys, and although there will always be superficial guys out there, not everybody is like that, and there will be guys who find you attractive just now, despite everything. As @Cbrandel says, you absolutely still can have a life whilst pfs is worked out. I realise that there is a lot more to your suffering, but hope is out there. At least hang around whilst there is genuine momentum and projects lined up. You are in the best place age wise to turn this around x

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#11

You don’t know what next year will bring, stop assuming.

That’s at the moment. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring - you might be very surprised.

You don’t know the slightest about what suffering his life will bring going forward. Everybody has their own issues. He may get cancer, have a nasty breakup, lose half his money, suffer immeasurably. Stop making unfounded assumptions.

It won’t last for long anyway, whether you have PFS or not. You’re 18 and soon you and your friends will be older and less attractive. It happens to everybody. You feel your process may be accelerated for a few years but it’ll happen regardless including to your ‘hot friend’. Rest assured of that.

Really? In that case every 18 year old should just kill themselves. Data shows that people enjoy life more the older they get (aside from a slump in their 40s) so clearly there is more at play than just looks.

Without attempting to be patronising, you’re very young and unable to see things from the perspective of an older person with more life experience, and all I can say to you is that life can look much better when you’re a bit older. I also had a shit time when I was your age and man, it’s so much better now.

Hold out my friend, you won’t regret it.

3 Likes
#13

Btw if you’re still upset about losing hair then just get a hair system, look them up, they look great these days.

#14

I feel you so much, your story really resonates with me.
I have lately seen so many cute guys around IRL, and it saddens me so much to know I just won’t be with them in the future, I always had problems interacting with people, now it’s even harder, given that I can’t even joke around like I used to.
Don’t want to be indiscreet at all, but by any chance have you made any improvements either in your condition or in your love life?
Specially the second would fill me with hope, no need to give details even. Best wishes man.

1 Like
#15

tbh my sexual sides have worsened, but my mental sides are considerably better. For me it seems like whenever my sexual sides are better my neurological ones are worse and vice versa

1 Like