Yo…those are really good sign of recovery…Plss hold on…I know a friend who was with same situation ur in right now…actually its been a long time since he recovered. High T levels are somewhat expected in ur case…its simply androgen resistance…this is the transition period where ur body begins to taste essence of Testosterone. So be careful…abstain and let ur body detoxify in its own way…take care…hope u find ur way back to urself …soon enough…Godspeed…GDV
Hey there GDV, sorry I missed your message i never get a email about this thread. I’ve just subbed to it. Do you mean your friend had high T and then eventually recovered? That definitely is a nice thought.
So just an update on myself again. I have been learning Metacognitive therapy, and it is working wonders with my mental health. Right now i probably feel calmer and happier than i have in years. I had some more blood tests with the doctor.
To my surprise, My test is still holding at a elevated 34.2 now. My uncle found out he had hereditary haemochromatosis (very high iron in the body) I was tested for that as i thought a lot of symptoms aligned. I came back as a carrier for it which means i should have very little clinical symptoms. Interesting, my transferrin saturation is high 72% (up from 50% two years ago) but my ferritin level is low. This does sound a little odd as >45% transferrin sat is often an indication of the start of iron overload. I’ll keep an eye on this.
My Bilirubin is very high 52 from a range of like 0-20. The doctor has tested and i seem to have an apparently benign disorder called Gilberts, where the liver doesn’t properly destroy bilirubin that breaks down from red blood cells. Ive done some reading on it and a lot of people actually think they do have symptoms from it. It reminds me of propecia, doctors think it doesn’t do anything, yet there is forums of people talking about fatigue. The only way to help that appears to be a healthy diet. Lol so it looks like i cut the sugar and refined carbs and continue healthy…
I do wonder what part my liver has to play in all of this. I know a lot of prop people have high SHBG, i went through my tests and even thought it was requested i cant see the results. This could actually explain my high T if its all bound up. When i see the endo next month i’ll be watching this. What is interesting is my liver has been slowly but surely reporting better figures over time apart from Bilirubin. I wonder if its healing? Perhaps this Gilberts syndrome (30% slower processing of drugs in phase 2) or whatever it is actually explains in part why I got so fucked by Propecia.
I actually agree with you btw GDV, enough changes are happening at the moment that i am not sure id consider drugs unless the endo can really show me somethings wrong.
So i still have very low libido, although definite little flashes happening. This morning i woke up and realised i had been dreaming of this girl at work (who im friends with never thought sexually about). As i was waking up i kept thinking about her in a bikini and definitely libido there so that was nice.
Will continue to update if anything interesting changes.
Always had high bilirubin, too. How’s your wbc/platelets… low?
I just had a look for you
WCC (white cell count) is 4.5 (4.0-11.0)
Platelets 183 (150-450)
Haemoglobin 179 (130-180).
So yeah kind of low normal i guess. any interesting hypotheses?
Guess not. I’m similar except out of range slightly low on wbc, platelets… Also top range haemoglobin.
I was going to maybe ask my doctor today about some type of anemia, spleen or bone marrow issues, but he blew off the results including my high bilirubin. He did let me try thyroid medication. I’m borderline on TSH… But have a lot of hypothyroid symptoms. Hoping for improvement on fatigue, sleep quality.
Good luck with that mate, ive thought about my thyroid many a time. It always comes back clear but i will be going to see an endo next month who is a thyroid and hormone specialist so will be interesting to see if he comes up with anything.
Interestingly, without having a clue what im talking about it seems that Propecia is processed through glucuronidation in phase 2 of the liver. That is the same part in those in gilbert’s syndrome have fucked. Wouldn’t be surprised if the liver was really struggling with its load with propecia / red blood cells / hormones etc and this is what led to my crash. Doctors say that high bilirubin doesn’t have many effects, i’m not sure that’s true. This last week ive been so very fatigued, i even have a small pain around my liver area on the right side. My stool is yellowy clay coloured. My fatigue could be PFS but i don’t think so. I mean if the liver is struggling with RBC i wonder what else it is too.
Let me know if you have any success with your thyroid
Supposed to get tested in about 10 weeks then see him after that. Could take a while to have an effect, if any, but, I’ll let you know.
Hi to anyone who reads this. First time logging into Propecia help in a long time.
I just wanted to give a bit of an update. I’m very tired at the moment (gym+sleep restriction) so i’ll keep it relatively brief.
As you can see from this thread, started Propecia at 15. My life was never the same since. I had brain fog, serious anxiety, clearly some dysthymia / depression. Soon after quitting at 25 I began to have some of the worst years. I was reading propeciahelp all the time, i was so upset i would cry constantly, my life was almost at an end. When i say i had anxiety, i really mean it. I would be terrified often getting on the train, be scared of going to the shops, my world would be dark from disassociation, id totally freeze and embarrass myself in social situations, sometimes id leave an event in total panic.
I struggled through and always tried to fix it (following guidelines here, going to the gym, mediation, broccoli, diet, supplements etc). Nothing really worked.
At some point i started focusing on my anxiety and i found Claire weeks, and later on Paul David & the anxiety no more blog. I tried as best as i could to follow the rules of the blog, and id have moments of no anxiety but still often relapse into despair. My every day state was average at best - something was wrong and it was lurking in my subconscious. I was never able to let go.
Yet i persisted with (Ironically trying not to persist so hard). As of about 5 months ago something seems to have clicked. I feel what i can only describe as normal. I have very little anxiety, no sadness. I’m just fine. I keep waking up every morning expecting to feel flat / anxious again but it just isn’t happening. My confidence and personality is returning, my mind is sharper and I feel thankful and calm.
So the other side of things (that in a way frightened and more deeply upset me) was some ED, Some PE, and a persistent feeling of low libido. Every since feeling better, this has also improved. I haven’t been laid for years and i’m low fapping, but I’ve been feeling horny again. Its not raging but its undoubtedly there. I’m not worried about it, my ED is minor if even there, and PE can be solved with work if i need it. I wouldn’t be surprised that if once i get a partner and as my sleep continues to improve (using a technique i’ll detail below) and i regain who i am, the final bits of depression lifts, i will be fully functional and fine.
My current feelings about Propecia -
Do i think Propecia fucked me up hard? well…probably / likely. I became anxious / depressed after taking it although i was also going bald. Do i think it caused physical damage to my brain? I’m not so sure. I believed 1000% that i was fucked. Waking up with brain fog was the damage from Propecia. This belief defined my life. I was like that women from inception, my life was basically over. Yet here i am. I have beaten depression and SERIOUS anxiety. What has led to my recovery? I am 100% certain it was my own hard work to understand and work on my mental state.
I know how unpopular it is to claim Propecia might not be the cause of all your issues. I know some people will hate me for even implying it. All i can say is i am at peace finally, i am normal and happy. I took Propecia for 10 years.
What has improved my well being
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The fundamental principles of Claire Weekes_ (3+ Years for me to understand it) (face, accept, float and let time pass) sound easy. Many people try to combat anxiety but don’t have the fortitude and the insight to really see that it is caused by themselves. I would relapse, doubt myself, hate life, then get back on the horse. Finally, i started to see the improvements, to really believe it was possible. I started to realize how pointless fighting anxiety was and i let down my guard. Finally it went away.
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I’ve never been prone to depression as i’m quite a flexible thinker. Yet the thought that i was fucked - id always have brain damage, and id never be able to have a partner crushed me. There was NO solution to this, i watched those on propeciahelp try things and fail. Yet as time went on i started to cultivate doubts and to question what i knew. I read about individuals with schizophrenia who were mute and smoking all day, to living very functional lifes when their hope returned. I started to question how much of my problems were due to my extreme worry. How far did this rabbit hole go? Would my libido come back if i weren’t depressed? Would my sleep improve? Am i sure that i am brain damaged? Could my anxiety be caused by my own fear of it?
Slowly, as i saw the results for my own eyes, i realized more and more the part i played in this. Could my nervous system be absolutely shot to shit from years of emotional abuse? -
I went to a sex therapist who was lovely. She is a GP, and was better BY FAR than the psychologists i had seen in the past. She was kind, she normalized some of my problems. She hypnotized me. I am a very skeptical person, and i told her so, but she framed it as deep relaxation. And BOY did i relax when she did it. I sunk into the chair and relaxed in a way that i hadn’t ever. From that day on i started a daily relaxation practice. I also used proper diaphragmatic breathing. Id heard of relaxation in the past but id never really did it. This seemed to be the final straw that tipped me into feeling great.
Some other things i did that i found effective (but I don’t not think were directly responsible to my recovery
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No FAP
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Posture work (Strengthening glutes / hamstrings / ABS, not sitting on sacrum) - helps breathing and pelvic floor (still working on this).
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Kegels (reverse kegels in particular to undo the PE i caused myself with too many kegels. IC flexes seem to give me libido back sometimes).
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I followed a depression program called uncommon knowledge. He promoted relaxation (which i did religiously). He also spoke about values, and after doing a values exercise i really felt a lot better about myself. It was like my sense of identity clicked and i felt more whole.
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Going to the gym 3+ years. Its been a great outlet, i look better i concentrate on my lifts. I’ve gotten pretty strong too.
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Sleeping on my side with a backpack to help with mild/moderate sleep apnea (losing weight).
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Currently undergoing stimulus control and bedtime restriction therapy for my sleep. Its working, its fantastic but i’m taking it slow.
I’ve done a shit load of other things to help myself, but most of them are not worth mentioning.
So i felt i had to at least update my story. I can preempt the type of responses i will get already. “Dude im not depressed and i’m still fucked”. I am aware of the studies showing altered brain structures. Maybe you’re right, maybe propecia has fucked you. Maybe time fixed me? Perhaps i was ok 5 years ago and simply mentally ill.
Or maybe you don’t really know yourself as well as you think you do. The lingering thought that propecia has ruined your life is incredibly insidious. I find it probable that many sufferers can at least improve their existence if they change their mindset a bit. All i can tell you is my own story.
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Thanks for updating your story. Though I’m relatively new to this, I feel confident that your approach would be beneficial to many.
I’m trying to improve my sleep all the time. I got 5 & 1/2 hours unbroken sleep last night. I slept more but I’m defining success by unbroken sleep periods. Could you talk a little more about your journey with sleep and particularly the bedtime restriction therapy you mention?
Could you also talk a little more about your pelvic floor work?
What’s PE?
Thx for the update. I took Propecia for 20years and i am off now for 11 months. I have only the mental problems that are persisting and gut problems, perhaps libido lower than before. I am very happy that you could turn things around with your brain because i often have the fear that i have serious brain damage going on.
Your post gives me realy hope and a lot of motivation. Will read your entire story this evening.
Thx z.
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I’m assuming that it stands for premature ejaculation.
Hi guys,
For those of you that dont know me, i started taking propecia at age 15 for 10 years. Im no stranger to this drug. When i was on it i had awful anxiety, my brain simply would not shut off from negative thoughts. I had to fight them even when being at home by myself.
So i quit propecia 1 year ago. To be honest, i dont even know what my body is supposed to be like, since i started propecia when i was still growing. I do remember having really hard morning and night erections because i used to pee on the wall of the toilet accidently.
So fast forward to now. My anxiety has subsided probablly 85-90%. My clarity of thought is far greater and i am now happy about that. I used to wake up almost every morning feeling like a truck hit me, but now i wake up feeling clear.
Something seems to have changed over the last few weeks. I was playing a computer game dragon age origins, and i realised that i was actually enjoying myself. I was talking out loud and laughing. I hadn’t felt like this in years. At work, i have been funnier, more relaxed and happier. Two women were making mozaics at work and i started commenting on how screwed up they were. They both thought it was hilarious and i did too.
Over the last year i probablly had 3 morning erections all up and this disturbed me a lot. Over the last 2 weeks, ive probablly had about 10. They are still a little weak i think but morning erections seem to be quite common. Im dreaming almost every night where i wasn’t dreaming at all before. I went to the gym for the first time in a couple of years yesterday and smashed my muscles to peices. I walked out and noticed a girl driving in her car and i looked straight at her nice legs and i had some movement downstairs. I walked into the shop at uni and the girl called me darl. I noticed a blush in her cheeks and a smile. I walked past a bald old man outside and looked at his bald head and it seemed strangely beautiful and primal to me.
So what has changed? To be honest not a great deal… Ive been walking heaps lately as i dont have a car. I walk 4k’s to the shops without blinking these days. Plus, the temperature has changed and i think im getting better sleep. I do think that the morning erections have some connection with my increased dreaming. Finally, ive taken ownership of my problem and im trying to be happier. Im trying to have fun and not to worry. Im not sure if im able to do that more because of some change, or if because ive been doing that ive made a change happen.
Please let me stress not to beat yourself up about this too much. Being happy and trying to have fun has really increased the quality of my life. So much that if this is how i would stay, i think i could be happy like this.
Now, im not an idiot. Ive been through that many up’s and downs in the past that i know this might not be a long lasting change. Ive felt good in the past too. Im going to keep trying and hope we all feel good again 
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Wow, I can’t believe doctors would prescribe this stuff to a 15 year old. A 15 year old who hasn’t even had a chance to really live and enjoy life. I’m glad you are slowly showing some signs of recovery. I wish you the best and hope you continue to get better
You should sue that doctor for negligence and malpractice. Finasteride is not meant to be prescribed to men under 18.
sennex where are you located? in the US?
Im from Australia Martin
Perhaps i could sue my doctor. I dont think he realised how bad propecia was to be honest though. Sueing him isn’t going to change the past unfortunately. My dad says that he was the one who pushed me to go onto propecia the most. Dad is bald and didn’t really want the same for me.
doesn’t matter the doctors should know better the effects of the drugs they are providing. Now to think about it taking fin is completely counter-intuitive to being a male… 
Did you grow much, when you took the drug? I think that fin causes hypopituitarism and as the growth hormone is the first one to break down in that case, we can’t ever reach our maximum estimated length. I took it also as a teenager…
I think we should check our IGF levels.
I do agree with you that taking Propecia is such a silly idea. A drug that takes away the most potent male androgen does not sound like a good idea. Im sure i grew quite fine. Im taller than both my parents and i do have a decent amount of muscle. If anything i would be more worried my brain didn’t develop quite right haha.