Hi
I’m really struggling to comes to terms with things right now and would like to know how you guys keep going every day?
Is it exercise?
Feeling hope there will be a cure?
Work?
Family?
I feel hopeless at the moment and would like to know your regimes or outlooks please?
my business, small definte upward improvements I have been having, the thought that one day this will be behind me.
I reconnected with my dad last summer and found out I have four brothers. They really look up to me now (don’t know why) and would be psychologically fucked up for years if I blew my brains out. That’s pretty much the only thing keeping me going. I should be ecstatic to have a family now, something I never had before, but most of the time I wish I had no one who cared about me so I wouldn’t feel obligated to continue existing.
My friends, those that stayed with me through my struggeling. I would say I lost contact to about half of the friends I had pre-fin, but at least I do know now, who my true friends are.
My mother and my brother are also helping me as much as they can.
And of course these days, where I feel like my old self again, are giving me hope. Although these days are rare …
nothing…
I just do not have the courage to kill myself, then keep living.
after all i have done in attempt to ameliorate this horrible symptomatology, supplementing, dieting, exercising, fasting, even though all of it has benefited me, i am still sick. i know that i do not have the courage to end my life, or at least, i don’t yet. i am holding out for the day when i no longer suffer from this disease, but until then, i am not really living. i no longer go out for drinks with friends (rarely drink at all), i no longer smoke (and i don’t mean tobacco; it supports my estrogen dominance), and i’ve got too much brain fog/emotional blunting to really enjoy normal sober activities. i don’t really have the money to do stuff anyway, my job doesn’t pay very well (so i have to live with my folks, and they tell me i’m not really sick anyway…)
what do you guys do for fun? i really don’t have enough of it lately; i think about ropes and bullets a lot.
Extremely negative thoughts seem to be a common symptom. I watch a lot of stand up comedy to try and elevate my mood. Short workouts help a little. Also I have 2 kids and the thought of them being fatherless is too much to really contemplate suicide.
exercising,cardio, weights etc,its the only thing that keeps me feeling ok,better than any bullshit medications…
I’m curious how many young people post on these forums and how you’ve been affected by PFS during your daily lives and what you do to keep going on.
After 15 months off this drug with little recovery and having to deal with difficult doctors who constantly tell me the side effects should have resolved themselves I’m having a hard time coping. I realize the fact i might have potentially fucked up my life because i was naive and believed this medication was safe.
I find it hard to believe its 2013 and doctors still dont believe how badly this medication fucks people up despite all the information on it thats being released. It just makes me think that 90% of the medical community should not have a job if they cant recognize that giving kids BPH medication that blocks hormones in some misguided attempt to prevent hairloss is going to screw them up for a very long time.
I know PFS is manageable, and probably reversible. That keeps me going.
Knowing there are people worse off than me for reasons that were more out of their control than me taking finasteride.
having a really bad day today. just ran 3.5-4 miles in 30 minutes. sounds good, but i feel depressed. i felt some real progress around monday, july 29th, but my buddy came home from teaching english in china randomly because his grandmother passed. so i gave in to peer pressure and drank and smoked, and i lost the progress i felt. i feel so f*cking stupid. how many times am i going to do something stupid and relegate myself back to square one?
i can’t live with this forever. i haven’t ejaculated in nearly 3 months. i run, i practice yoga, i eat healthy, i take cold showers, i don’t drink or smoke (usually, really, i don’t). how many more years until i can think clearly again? until i get laid and enjoy it? until i feel affection?
do i care about how others would feel if i weren’t around anymore? well, sort of, but sort of not. i lack personal permanence, it’s like i’m not really here. blah, blah, you know, empty husk of human being, i’m sure you’ve heard it all before. after all, you post (or lurk) on this forum. i’ve lost touch with a lot of people i used to be close with, and people move on after tragedies anyway.
i don’t know where else to vent this, who else to talk to. my family and friends don’t really understand.
“c’mon man! you can have a beer! quit being a pussy! drink! drink! drink!!!”
i don’t want to consummate these feelings by writing about them, but this isn’t life, guys. my own mother can’t even give me a hug.
you havent ejaculated in 3 months? You have zero libido still?
more or less. may 19th, i believe, was the last day. don’t really remember, though.
after this past week, i feel like i don’t deserve to recover. honestly, guys, i just want to fall in love. sounds cheesy, i know.
an attractive girl (who was with her bf) was totally eye f*cking me at waffle house last night (i was designated driver). but i just didn’t feel anything. i wanted it, but more so, i wanted to want it. what gives, man?
I can relate to all the things you posted and my story is very similar except I haven’t been able to have an erection in 4 months
I totally know the feeling with drinking culture, I’ve been there a couple of times in the past week (due to totally different drinking-social culture in this part of the world) and it’s not been worth it
I did it today too, which i guess was good cos i realized what kind of shitty tasting liquids these guys put up, and then i realized more completely that Ohhh so its just the over-stimulation/experience changing part that is desired. i get it now. no thanks. before stimulants and finasteride i could see colours when i listened to music/life was in itself incredibly rich and deep (im not joking, i dont think i was entirely normal joe in how my brain worked), i didn’t need drugs to stimulate myself or my mind etc. lol now i know if i need to be funny or have libido etc i could use amino acids l dopamine maybe nootropics etc intead of this ineffective, non-localized effect - shit.
I personally think… this is just my conclusion but it’s a cultural thing, yeah? I think Khrisna said something along those lines that a whole culture can be sick/insane in itself, and while that can dangerously lead to isolationism/extrenisms/traditionalist bullshit, i think the understanding of how people think of this does help though.
I’ve noticed that people don’t in general care about their health, or that the caring goes on a either shallow level or on shallow understanding (more on level on what they picked up from health magazines or their friends or from some guru or from their doctor).
It’s like… more about making a better self-image/ego than actual curiosity on their health (maybe the bodybuilders/gym-goers recognize themselves in this?). “I eat this and that, thus I feel good in my mind”. “I and other people will recognize how good I am to myself” etc, you can think of possible reasons.
And as drinking is more of a compulsory social ritual than a serious fucking health hazard in itself… then you know. It’s a social rite. You don’t even get to know the person in-depthly thru alcohol, unless in their tipsiness/drunkness they let off stuff out of them/“drop their guards” or similiar, and i don’t even know if the latter is completely good thing anymore. It takes time to build-up social relations through mutual social rites (drinking in groups, doing this regulary), perhaps too much time and alcohol considering that I’m still not sure I could trust on them entirely, like it’s some kind of mutual ritual.
Sorry pax, basically i’m chiming in SOME kind of support and supporting ya lol. Don’t feel too bad about the stuff and keep on moving up.
Okay, that’s easily the worst part. Fuck your parents. Fuck them thoroughly. It took me a YEAR to convince my parents that this was real, and it included some waving of scientific papers and news about finnish propecia sufferers etc. I know bluejaysfan couldn’t convince his a time back…
Let me tell you how this will go: right now, you are relying on them financially to just get by, cos the brainfog is still too much and that in itself leads to bad stress tolerance and thoughts of isolation and leaving control to other people. But rest assured, when you improve in this regard, you’re totally going to rush to take control of everything. This happened to me. So don’t give so much hand to stress with negativity ya idiot, the depression’s gonna come regardless with brainfog/cognitive problems lol so ingrain the consciousness of your body’s forced depression into you.
I don’t know why this happens btw but your own creators/people (parents) who are supposed to love you, believe in you, help you perhaps - QUESTION your words and I think going through that really, really, REALLY opened my mind about how D.I.Y and taking control of your own life whenever you can is so much more important than leaving it on ANYBODY’S hands, parents or lover otherwise. I thought about this carefully in order not to give in to unability to trust to any other people deeply but now I understand that there is a limit to everything in this human world. IDK if your parents will believe your condition at some point (i don’t think its important - the goals justify the means in this case and putting up with it is fine until better financial situation) but it still pisses me to no ends that these people can get away with this, like get away from questioning your integrity and then act like that they always loved you in reality, like the stress they put you through wasn’t true. That’s not love or trust, that’s just normal human social rites and mutual bonds etc.
I’m lucky to have a very deep, loving friendship with my best friend (male, i’m not gay yo) and he sure have opened my eyes on what to REALLY expect on the finer qualities of humans. He is an actual real thing, a great human. I try my best to be good to him, too.
PS: On topic of what do u do when instead of the activities you listed: idk, you dont have to be an introvert or artsy or humanistic shut-out to enjoy life totally without those activies you listed. When i’m not fogged, i play or make music or sing, maybe read books, search for more protocols and anecdotes (i try to be careful with this, practise strict moderation with this so you dont lose your head into this). STAY AWAY FROM PH, thats another good one. I think of things in my life and figure out answers, questions and solutions. I do presence exercises (these rules) or reduce stress with certain methods. I take walks outside, especially real nature walks are important for mental health. I do healthy life-control things, like do homework or clean house or do errands im supposed to do. talk with my best friend or friends, connect with them, talk with them about things. (it really helps when you have someone who believes you and you can talk about finasteride stuff, the need for that gets less as you improve and he/she knows in and out all the stuff). write maybe.
basically you can do anything that gives you more experiences of life control, try out new things and experiences with or without brainfog, connect with people, do practises that gets you out of egoistic/painful thoughts and into more present more alive state, actively think positive things or be actively merciful to yourself when you are fogged and forced-depressive. observe world, live your life VS live constantly in a complex, abstractized world where you apply this “im sick” person to everything. theres lot of stuff you can do actually! Ive approached several girls and girls do eye-games with me so i try to experiment as well.
jesus, talk about FEELING ALONE/i think im the only one with this kind of thougths/ideas here or something. hope it helps in any way.
omg that makes me so sad.
Excersise (marginally)