Update 03/04/2022
Every time I start to think I’m doing better, things get really bad really fast again. Yesterday I had a good deal of sex drive, and today when I woke up, I just felt off: panic attacks, anxiety/crying episodes. It just all feels so utterly random and comes in intense waves. I wonder if it’s like this for others?
Update 03/17/2022
I knew I crashed really badly and that my brain was going to be messed up for a long time, but I never expected it to be this bad, or that I wouldn’t be getting better 4 months later. I’ve been doing my best to stay active with hiking, lifting, rugby, and rock climbing. I thank God I have the ability to do these things even if in a very miniature way in contrast to my previous self. Rugby has been especially tough since I can’t think, and the team doesn’t respect me. I don’t have panic attacks in my sleep anymore, I do still occasionally have crying episodes that seem to come and leave in about a 30 minute window, and the anhedonia has been very brutal to say the least. Covid knocked out my sense of smell and taste, so I really just exist and it’s so odd. Im going to have to remake myself from scratch with no energy and I’m daunted by the task. I am blessed to have had a good job beforehand working as an engineer, but I now I feel locked in to it and working from home isn’t conductive to my mental health. I also do a little tutoring on the side in math, but I feel like since I can’t think well I should try and find something that’s simpler and hands on. My heart goes out to my fellow brothers on this forum, nobody can really understand this experience except those of us who have endured this special kind of hell. I don’t care to keep fighting, but what other choice do I have, death? I have an infinite for that. I need to figure out a way to make this work.
I’ve come to the conclusion only now that what I most likely endured was a result of COVID and not saw palmetto. I’ve been hoping to get better, but it honestly just doesn’t seem like it’s happening and hope is in short supply. I will continue to fight and endure. But even if I am not suffering the same cause as others on this forum, I want you all to know that I’m praying for your recovery. There is great suffering in this life, but the old that is strong does not wither. Will likely delete my page in the weeks to come but will stick around until then if anybody has any questions.
How did you come to the conclusion covid is the culprit?
Reading your original post it seems unlikely it’s due to covid. Did you have covid in 2019? Looks like your issues started with Rogaine and then got worse with saw palmetto, which is a common thing here (to get worse 2nd time using an anti androgen).
Although it could be covid as well, if you’re unlucky it comes with some nasty sides.
Apologies for slow response, I’m not active on this forum as much these days. Very difficult to say, it’s really hard to say because I used Rogain around the same time as I got Covid the first time, and then used Saw Palmetto around the same time as I got Omicron covid. I’m assuming it’s Covid because it seems more plausible, but still very difficult to say which is which. Either way, all I can do is eat clean, exercise, and rest up to do my best to find a higher quality of life. For me I think it is more about the trigger than the actual event since I think it’s immune issues creating a massive damaging effect in response.
Update: 09/26/2022
I haven’t forgotten about you guys. So here I am almost 10 months since my crash. I am having less devastatingly depressed days, and those days where I was crying for no reason seem to be quite few and far between as of right now. My body is still a bit of a mess. I hack up phlegm like constantly that is white and sticky, I can’t gain weight past 230lbs, if I do, I start having serious phlegm days followed by feeling sick until I’ve lost that weight. I can have sex, though it’s not really pleasurable like it used to be. I can’t really gain muscle anymore. It all kinda just drops off and is way harder than before the crash. I did a 5 day water fast to try and cleanse my body about a month ago, and it seemed to maybe help but after refeeding, my problems came right back. Lots of things improved but still no where near back to where I was. I am going to keep working hard to get better though.
“The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots cannot be touched by the frost” -J.R.R. Tolkien