Suicidal thoughts constantly on my mind

General Discussion
#1

I did the stupidest shit anyone could have done. Living with pFS made me lose my social circle which is not very wide to start with. I do not have much family to speak with. What i had in my life is a girl who was with me prior to this, and until recently was asking me to get married.

To be frank, i was not sure i wanted to, so i did gave mixed answers. Deep in my heart though was this fear that what would happen if she left me… I dreaded that moment, but i did not act on this. In retrospect [b]i should have promised her the world[b] just like a lot of people do without worrying too much about the future. More recently however i have been frank and open that i do agree we should get married…

Anyway folks, i got hit on the head and now i am suffering from a concussion with lasting effect in my brain health, so brain fog, headaches, dizziness, and depression…

Two weeks into my concussion she leaves me for another guy, and i have been with her for 3 years now… I have no friends to turn to, no one.

And with the pfs symptoms my chances of finding a girl is small… At least my gf or ex was ok with that and wanted to marry me despite this… I was so lucky to have had the opportunity to have had a family to take off my mind from this…

Concussion symptoms aggravate my depression… I never been so depressed in my entire life…
I usually try to run and be active to deal with breakups, or take sleeping pills, or benzos, but all this is not possible with the concussion…

This is the first time i start to think about HOW to off myself…pretty seriously…
I do not even have the energy to see a shrink…walking is such a huge effort…

#2

Just PFS alone made me have depression, dizzy ect, brain fog. It sounds like you were functioning a bit more then some of us, at least prior to the hit on the head. How did this happen?

#3

Hey man…let me know if you want to talk. I’ve been where you are…things will get better. I promise.

#4

I know exactly how you feel. My wife divorced me as a result of PFS and we were together for 22 yrs.

Anyhow, I have researched brain health extensively. Not only have I recovered brain function, but I continue to improve in many mental areas as a result of the things I do and take to assist. I’ll list them out here. But first I must stress the importance of a clean diet (no junk food, GMO’s, Hormones in meat/dairy), and exercise to increase blood flow to the brain daily.

Obviously a trauma produces inflammation.
Here’s a video on how High doses of Omega 3’s helped a 16yr old recover from traumatic brain injury after being hit by a car.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/18/health/fish-oil-recovery/
Get the high quality brands with balanced EPA/DHA. I use Metagenics 720 which was recommended by one of my doctors.

Lions Mane - Regenerate nerves
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-stamets/mushroom-memory_b_1725583.html

And for brain performance:
Adderall - Dr. Goldstein said all his PFS patients are taking it. And since I was diagnosed with ADHD after getting PFS, I’m taking it too. It really helps with focus and concentration.

NOOTROPICS
Nootropics are extremely helpful for learning, studying and ADHD symptoms. There are many items to choose from and most experienced users will combine them to create a ‘STACK’. I recommend doing some research and browsing forums to get familiar with them before buying any.
Brain Health Forum:http://www.longecity.org/forum/forum/169-brain-health/
Where to buy:http://peaknootropics.com/or http://nootriment.com/

Hope this info help you dude. Or at least distracts you long enough to forget about suicide. :slight_smile:

#5

Thanks all… Anyone knows whether there are some anti depressants that are worth trying and that would not make pfs worse?

#6

St John’s Wort seemed to help me. It’s a common anti-depressant without the severity of side-effects that SSRIs have.

However to overcome the depression you need to change your expectations.

For me personally - I’ve put on hold any thought of relationships while I have this condition. I would never be comfortable with the doubt in my mind, so simply accept at this time it’s not a possibility.

I instead look to perform well in my job, remain physically active, and maintain a reasonable social life. Nothing more.

It’s difficult to adjust, but fixating on what could have been is destructive. What has happened has happened. It’s not your fault, and currently there’s nothing you can do about it. The only real option is to live each day as it comes, and try to enjoy what you can.

I still have suicidal thoughts every couple of months. But I’m now at a point where I’m reasonably content with my life, and I think most people can be given time.

#7

I think I will eventually, hate to sound too negative but I don’t think anyone recovers 100% only that some side effects lessen over time.