Cześć. Jestem z Polski i chętnie ci pomogę jeśli napiszesz na pw
A little update to my story. During this week I went from being very depressed and blunted to almost a recovery. The recovery lasted 2 days 5-6 may.
The symptoms that got better in varying degrees were:
Personality,
Enjoyment of things and life including music,
Sexual stuff (mostly that primal foggy ‘urge to have sex’ feeling in the morning),
Energy levels including not being sleepy at 10pm (I could actually easily stay up to 2am like before, how lovely),
Digestion and it’s byproducts (this one made me very happy),
Not thinking about this condition every minute.
Things that did not improve:
Dry lips,
I think this weird shaky feeling inside has not improved too, but I was happy to be myself again and I really didn’t pay much attention to this.
New psychological symptom after this recovery:
Worrying that I am going to deteriorate over time even more.
Why this recovery happened I don’t know. Maybe rebound effect from being depressed. I also starting supplementing some vitamins again on first day of recovery, but after eating those today (3rd day of this regime) I have noticed no effect - back to PFS blunted reality.
(Vitamins were 5 drops of ADEK vitamins, 1pill of 4000ui D3, 2 pills 100mgc K1, 1 pill L. Reuteri probiotic 7Mil, 1 pill sodium butyrate, 1 pill gut motility Rx pill, 1mg L-citrulline)
Edit. Also about a week ago I’vs had a cold and started taking antiviral+immuno stimulating pils and did feel little better for 2-3 days. But the same pills even before PFS made me feel better and I was sometimes looking for catching a cold to fell this kind of small high from those tablets (Izoprynozyna - Groprinosin).
Edit2. What I didn’t include previously, but I think is very interesting is the fact that I am almost an Aspie type of guy, but initially after a crash I felt like I have gone much further into the spectrum.
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I feel like my personality is changing on a day to day basis. Really disturbing. I also got this weird imploding/suffocating feeling in my whole body.
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For the record:
Friday, Saturday - feeling almost recovered mentally
Sunday - feeling like I am in Stanley Kubrick’s 2001 Space Odyssey. Totally empty, alone and abandoned.
Monday - physically exhausted whole day, mentally I don’t even know.
Tuesday - fine, even getting better by the hour then in the evening snap, a sudden shift. I went out for a walk to calm down and I’ve experienced feeling of impending doom which switched to feeling like stranger in a town that I was living for 25 years. And the change of mental state itself was quiet and ominous, felt like a can of black paint was spilt inside of me literally while I was typing a message on my phone.
It’s like involuntary playing dice with the devil.
I think this is going to be one of the last updates on my story (well no more interesting things to report I guess).
After cutting out all the supplements I became much more mentally stable - no sudden changes in mood.
Also I think I figured up why I got hit in the first place. I think I was low on test and 5ar was upregulated so DHT was doing a lot of heavy weight lifting. Or maybe I was low on 5ar and the receptors were upregulated. 5 days of fin blocked things enough to the point of me getting anxious for no reason while on fin. After stopping DHT and other 5ar products were blocked for at least a week or more. And after stopping the existing 5ar products got recycled so I was left with none and low test? So about a week after stopping I got hit really hard.
PS also it is possible that I drank some grapefruit juice during taking fin as I was drinking a lot juices and it was possible that I drank grapefruit not knowing that it could interact with fin.
Edit. According to ‘Regulation of de novo lipogenesis in human liver by 5α-reductase’ 5ar2 inactivates cortisol in liver, so perhaps that’s why I got so increasingly anxious. I wonder if sky high cortisol could have started cascade effect and caused crash in other systems outside brain.
Edit2 Demon from Italy was destroyed with antiandrogenic cream after 7 days so it matches my timeline. Could grapefruit juice make fin inhibit much more that 70% dht in certain tissues? Could naturally high prolactin (or its spike) enhance fin grapefruit boosted antiandrogenic properties?
Edit3 What if fin binds to androgen receptors themselves in some people and degrades cells in some way so then they cannot receive androgens?
Also I wonder if there is some graph of hourly hormones and neurosteroids after discontinuing fin. Perhaps this could give some insight what might go wrong.
Edit4 After reading those forums for some time the reason why all those symptoms are persistent is clear and undeniable. Btw The recovery windows are not evidence against this reason.
More than 3 month out, obviously no improvements. I might be even getting tinnitus worsening now. Also I remembered that I specifically asked for contact in my adverse event report form. Obviously no hearing back. I know that the reporting system does not work that way, but still…
Not really needed update for almost 4th month. No improvements in PFS. In addition I have now actually completely forgot how I used to be like and how every aspect of life felt, tasted, smelled.
I think vitamine d3, e, k1 combo brings me to a livable level lately. I can be emotional while watching a motion picture, but not from music itself - FUCK. Also what follows are non existent orgasms, no contractions, just feel the buildup. I wonder if I can somehow fix this. I’ve had at least 2 recovery windows where I could feel music, I wonder if it was from any of the supplements I was taking. Perhaps it was gut related?
I don’t know whether this is everybody’s experience here, but if I listen to music I can feel like there is something that really wants to happen my brain, but it doesn’t. Like someone that wants to shout, but has no voice. Do you guys have the same?
Also I get super sleepy if I eat a moderate ammounts of sweets. Is that (very) bad?
Also I have this weird feeling in the right top part of my brain. Almost like a pressure/tingling/numb feeling you have after you have cut out blood flow to your hand by lying on it. It isn’t very strong. Probably very bad.
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Curious thing. I can laugh to the point of my stomach hurting, but no oxytocin from music. Still a movie can make ma experience some emotions or perhaps emotion. Also dopamine/motivation is low still.
Yea, that sounds familiar.
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2 last days were very good, I was back to myself, including enjoyment from music. Bad thing I was constipated as hell. Today I was myself to the point that the testosterone anger/irritability came back, but I took gut relaxing rx pill from gastroenterologist to do something about the constipation. Good news, it relived the constipation almost instantly, bad news my mood really tanked plus I got sleepy. What is this? Anybody knows how to fix the gut, but not destroy everything else at the same time? I really need to be myself again.
BTW. Today I woke up at 8.30 not stupid 5 or 6 God bless. I hope this tablet washes up pretty quickly and I could go back to me being be. I thought those improvements I had were to the d,e,k1,alcar combo, I hope they were not because of constipation itself. Will update in some days.
Slowly recovering from this weird crash. Music is still good. Weird thin is that I get sleepy and have low energy right after meals (especially big ones).
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I have went from zombie like feeling in the morning to feeling good, got sleepy for an hour after meal, the went back to feeling good. I have drank 1 cup of kefir before dinner, plus I did drink 2 cups before sleep and now its 3 o’clock am and I still cannot fall asleep and my heart rate is up(pfs normal for me is being dead at 10-11pm and falling asleep immediately). I hope I wont go through something similar to my first crash because 2 cups of kefir. I think it can be catastrophic.
Note to self: gut is important in my pfs, overdoing things is bad.
Nope, that was 500% B12 from energy drink. I hope I didn’t do anything irreversible. Also my skin is getting number in specific places and dry mouth returned.
Cyanocobalamin was the b12
When I got to bed I almost felt asleep, but resisted that, then I could not go to sleep no matter what. Also my bp is supposedly low now.
I drank also pepsi with sugar before this. I shouldn’t have.
Also I took pill Taurine and then taurine was in monster. God, what crashed me then?
Next to insomnia I have emotional flatness again, world looks weird.
Tactile sensation is diminished over the body and the crash is sexual too. I think I might turn ito a severe case soon. Emotions are non existent, there is no feeling to the world again. I might have messed up severely. The best day of pfs was followed by the worst
I think this crash is driven by acetylcholine as my first crash
Good news the crash have faded after 1 day thank god. Sleep back to pfs normal. Left me with a little number skin I hope nothing more was damaged.
Edit. Was feeling great in the morning now boom, weird feeling. Hope insomnia doesn’t come back.
My crash was probably induced by too much vitamine k plus caffeine from pepsi and energy drink. The numb feeling were caused by that also I assume.
After some reading taurine, vit e and k all lower blood pressure and caffeine is a vasoconstrictor. So that must have lowered blood flow in the brain and nervous system. Curious is that brought back the original crash symptoms. If this makes sense then it could potentially be useful in figuring out pfs pathology.
Another person who completely recovered emotionally during a cold. This must be one of the clues to PFS. I mean that the body, mind, and sex can all be affected by the cold. It’s amazing.