There isn’t any treatment or protocol. I’ve wasted countless years and tens of thousands barking up that tree of false hope.
Being on nothing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It could very much be the one cure that many here and elsewhere are dismissing. Actually, I was on the upwards of 20+ supplements a day for years until I recently decided that I need none.
This may sound cliché but did you try basic things such as working out 3X week; getting to bed early and waking up early; being hydrated and go on diet with calories surplus that’s also coupled with adequate fats; carbs, protein and fiber?
I think I may have given the wrong impression that I said I will **definitely ** be alone for the remainder of life.
I’m preparing for it but I believe I said “of course anything is possible”
Do I have a full fledged confidence that I will be able to start a family. Absolutely not.
Apart from PFS symptoms I also had my own emotional and personal issues that I feel I probably shouldn’t get involved with another person long term.
The only exception i would make is if a girl was truly crazy about me and proved it and I felt the same. Like a meant to be together scenario but I won’t hold my breath on that one.
I see what you mean about have a justified despair being our worst enemy. I see and good name for it
I’m just trying to prepare for it so it makes later in life much easier to bear. I’m trying to combat the fear and conquering it now. If that makes sense.
I’m trying to stay both realistic and positive though while getting prepared for the right mindset for it.
Because it is a genuine fear of mine
And who knows, maybe someone shows up along the way
Sometimes I feel I’m going through this to learn how to love myself and fight through personal problems my soul needs to work on
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Yes I do those things. I workout more than 3x a week, eat healthy, and make sure to sleep and rise same time every day. Yes I agree that many of the things, especially taking hormones, that people do here likely delay recovery, if in fact it is possible at all.
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Humans aren’t designed to live alone. They are the most social animals of all. There are some cats, for example, that never see any other cats except for during mating season. And there are other solitary animals. But humans like most other animals are designed to live together with other humans, and suffer immensely when prohibited from doing so. Imagine a sled dog just pulling a sled alone for no real reason other than to find food and keep pulling sled.
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Right but that idea comes more from a time when it took a large family or village to survive because the hunting and gathering was much more easy as a collective than an individual. And in order for the pack to survive more ppl procreated thus making more ppl this making more of an need to gather resources. They needed many ppl to survive.
When we got to the 20th century it was more common for people to go it alone.
Look at Tesla. Classic loner. Very private. Didn’t have anyone other than occasionally meeting with contemporaries to discuss work.
I’m not saying anyone here is or has to be Tesla I’m just trying to illustrate a point that not everyone needs ppl especially when you’ve found a purpose in life.
Is it nice to have ppl sure. But the point of the thread was for anyone who like me, is recognizing what most likely will happen and preparing for the lifestyle.
If you feel ppl can’t be happy alone then fine. That’s your opinion on it.
I’m just looking to talk it out and brainstorm to see how we can still live happily despite it. Some strategies and interventions.
Look this is not an easy pill for me to swallow. I sort of hate the fact I felt I needed to make this thread but I’m trying to get ahead of the game. You think I or anyone one of us wanted to worry about this shit in our lives? Of course not. I’ve cursed many days I’ve lived since this became my life. 10-12 years.
But I’m tired. And I want to accept and yet fight back on this and see what we can do
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I’ll give my 2 cents.
Personally, I don’t think you can be happy alone. You can be fine, not happy.
But think about it: if you had all the people you want right next to you, would you really be able to experience happiness with PFS? In my case, I’m not sure.
This whole PFS story made me grow. A lot. In a paradoxical, cinical way, it made me realize what’s importantant in life.
This scares me a lot. Because, up until 18 months ago or something, life for me was just about quantity. Having been suffering hell on Earth in the past decade or so, but being terribly afraid of death, I used to believe “as long as I’m alive, I’m fine”.
Now I’m sure about that anymore.
As of today, the chances of me finding a parter for life are … let’s say low. Just to be nice.
But it’s not just about that.
PFS turned me into a pain in the ass. I’m painfull to be around.
I used to be so funny people would invite me out for dinner and just wanted me to talk and make them laugh. I used to write jokes for comedians. I’ve been heavily depressed for the past 7-8 years. Despite this, people wanted to be around me. I was funny, I was brilliant, I was optimistic.
Sadly as it may sound, you have to give people a reason to be around you.
I can’t produce humorism anymore. I’m the dumbest idiot you’ll come across. I used to have a gifted IQ. Now, I struggle following conversation. Creating concept in my mind. Forming ideas. I was so creative it was outerwordly. I was emotional, I could connect with people in no time. Friends would reach out to me and ask what I though about current affairs and stuff.
I have nothing to give to people nowadays.
I’m in the process of losing my friends. The best friends in the world. They did everything for me. Everything. They stayed with me when nobody else would.
Future for me is a weird concept. If the quality of my life doesn’t get better, I’m done in 1 year, 2 years max. At this point in time, I have some cards to play, which give me … hope? I guess so.
Deep inside me I hope one day I’ll turn my situation around. But hope isn’t enough anymore.
The only things that motivates me, is the possibility of finding my real self again.
My dearest friends recently told me “we don’t even know you are anymore, but you’re not [my name]. You are a totally different person”.
And I am.
I’m trying to toughen up.
In the next months, I’ll try to work more, move out, and I’ll “play my cards”. If I can get my life to a point where is worth living I’ll stick around. But I won’t live alone. I wasn’t born to be alone. So in my case, it’s either people around or … else.
Sorry for the confused message. I’m fucking suffering here and my mind is so foggy I can’t even process my thoughts.
I guess the right answer is: find a purpose for life, something to serve, something greater than yourself. But at the end of the day I still have to come back home. And I don’t that home to be empty.
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Have you tried bupropion?
Before this PFS ordeal, I tried a variety of drugs including Xanax, Zoloft, and other 3-4 compounds. None of them helped.
At this point in time I’m just scared of everything. Even of freaking Vitamin C.
But I’m approaching the moment where I have to experiment with something.
Thank you for your suggestion, bupropion is on my list of things to try, even though it seems to be involved in @Tzinkman recent situation.
Have you tried again with probiotics? Your report used to give me a lot of hope.
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I exaggerate not when I say all symptoms disappeared when I used the probiotics - it’s definitely grounds for hope. It makes me accept that people do improve with PFS by taking substances, much to the chagrin of a particular subset of members. I’ve used it since but with less benefits. And I find if I take it for too long it affects my digestion by giving me loose stools.
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Thank you.
Let’s hope.
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@orthogs whats your thoughts on a fecal implant. I tried bupropion recently and it didn’t help unfortunately. Im running out of steam.
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I don’t know, I really don’t. Everything seems to hold such risk with us. I really don’t have an opinion one way or the other, sorry.
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Thanks for replying. I know you sent me it previously but cant find it, which probiotic did you recommend? Cheers
l reuteri
Thank you for writing in, my friend.
I wanted to wait until I could really answer you appropriately.
Believe me…I understand and feel everything you said. I’m sure we all do.
That’s why I made the thread. To discuss strategies and other interventions that could make us happier as we get older.
I in part agree with you that it would be difficult to be happy alone BUT how do you know you definitely be happy with a family. We all think we’d be but what about worrying about your kids constantly. What if something happens to them or your wife. What if your wife becomes unfaithful.
I’m not trying to be negative I’m just trying to illustrate that family doesn’t automatically equate to happiness. ANYTHING can happen. Good or Bad.
And this is coming from someone who is very pro family and traditional values but of course here were are in our situation.
Coping and progressing is why I started this here. So we can lean on each other and help each other.
I agree a purpose is crucial to moving forward for sure. And yes, someone to love would be a beautiful thing. I wouldn’t write it off completely because if you work hard enough and put yourself out there enough you just don’t know what might happen.
I understand pushing everyone away as I’ve done the same
Maybe you need new ppl like I do. People that will understand
I’m not sure as everyone is different in their situations and mindset.
Much of the time I feel like moving to a different part of the country but I get pessimistic and doubt myself when for all I know it might be exactly what I need
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Oh, I don’t.
And I’m well aware that the majority of the people are sad. Married and single.
But, there’s a difference between sad and miserable. And there’s a huge difference between being sad alone, and sad with someone next to you.
I consider this to be bad sign. Sorry if I come across too hard, but at least in my experience when people “need” to move to a different place they are just trying to distance themselves from a problem.
Unless, of course, there’s something wrong with the place you live in at the moment.
Well, I don’t know what to say. Personally, I don’t care at the moment about future, because I dont’ see myself sticking around in this state.
There is such a thing as too much pain. And I don’t how miserable I man can be to reach the point where he wishes he could trade his condition with a good portion of the disease people hope never to get sick with.
So, after I’ve done everything I can do … I’ll ask myself if what I have is enough. If I don’t, at least I’ll know I have tried everything before checking out.
Pain.
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Well at first I wanted to leave because my ideals and values really don’t align with NY
I want something more traditional and conservative for myself so I figured surrounding myself with ppl who think like wise would be a better idea
I believe my life has gone stale up here in NY
And a change of scenery might just be the thing
New ppl, new seen. New job hopefully
I Could be completely wrong of course
But it’s certainly on the table for sure
Even if it’s temporary
Who knows…anything is possible
Lol, when I daydreamed about going elsewhere, I’d always fantasize about NY.
And I come from Italy, a much more traditional and conservative place 
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Ay I’m Italian too 
I’m over NY politics, noise and just everything
I’m looking for the opposite
We will see