Sad that I'm never going to get better

Well, I myself experienced almost full recovery this summer. I wish it lasted more than just two weeks. That makes me think there must be some sort of switch that can bring you to normal state.

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did you happen to be getting a lot of sun?

this summer i also experienced a lot of lessening of symptoms. it’s almost like the body isn’t absorbing certain vitamins and stuff, i kind of connected this to the amount of sun i was getting throughout the summer, along with a pretty strict diet. it was so strange to feel anger again. i feel like if this continue, i would’ve broken into good emotions

I also had the best moments during the summer. Just when summer was starting to fade away (August), I had new symptoms appear.

hmmm interesting. this summer my brain fog completely went away. and never came back, not sure if this is due to the diet, or sunlight. also my vision got a bit better, i had intense double vision, sometimes very blurry. at this point in time my vision is crystal clear, however i think this is a result of FMT

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What is FMT?

I’m not sure if the Sun had much to do with my recovery compared to just time itself. I crashed mid March 2021 and started to get major improvements around month 4-5. Those more or less stuck. My only symptom is genital numbness and ejaculatory force. The second I’m not caring so much about.

fecal matter transplant. it’s so weird the vast differences in symptoms people get. my symptoms are anhedonia, sexual anhedonia, and emotional numbness, along with a bunch of other things that i probably don’t even notice

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That is an interesting procedure… learning something new everyday :joy:.

Yeah it’s really astonishing what symptoms people on here have. Some of them are a little hard to believe (as in it’s probably something else causing it), in my honest opinion.

I initially thought I had anhedonia and emotional numbness as well. Luckily those were just products of severe depression and anxiety. Those two symptoms are really, really hard to tackle since mental health is almost everything when dealing with this problem.

I’m glad those symptoms have improved drastically for you. Let’s hope for the best that it remains permanently fixed now.

yeah its hard to parse all of the symptoms. some i know are from fin, as they set in the next day. but others started years later. who really knows if fin caused it, or anxiety and depression, or something else entirely.

yeah i should stop making that comparison. it came to me as some sort of pseudo-epiphany this summer when i watched a documentary about it. i remember the fear i felt when i thought that maybe we’re going through the same thing but more drawn out. that emotion i initially felt has stuck with me, it’s very poignant as well. but its clearly not scientific at all, just a scary comparison.

It’s alright! Sometimes I forget that posts come from an emotional place and I lose track of which posts are genuinely crazy theories and which are just conjectures/expressions and just trying to frame the experience of this vague condition. I don’t mean to scold people or whatever for feeling a certain way about things so I hope I didn’t come across as too blunt.

In any case, I saw a YT video about the exact same incident you mentioned not long after I watched the HBO Chernobyl miniseries a while back. It’s very (morbidly) interesting to see how they meticulously kept track of his condition and how the man just basically structurally disintegrated. Crazy.

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In fact, I did. Although I don’t think that was the reason.

did anyone get mri or ultrasound to spot for fibrosis in the penis? I have pretty mild mental/ cognitive sides from dut, but they’re exacerbated 3fold by my libido and erectile dysfunction…

there was one thread in 2014 by some guy, said his penis was fibrotic like a 70 year old man who had an underlying disease according to his uro… so anything like this should be easy to rule out if we do some scans? and if we are clear at this level of fibrosis , like macro fibrosis, then we can recover? and even if we have macro fibrosis, im sure in the future they are coming with ways to solve this. Some rabbit study they grew rabbit penis cells and implanted them in rabbits and they were able to have erections again after the bio-implant

I didn’t. But I never even thought about penile fibrosis. I had some suspicion of possible varicocele because of some pain-like feeling, got an ultrasound with doppler, and it appeared that I’m healthy.
Are you sure it’s real fibrosis?

well what im feeling in my penis id ont know how else to describe it… its like it doesnt absorb blood or release blood as efficiently as it used to… which makes me believe my penis is fibrotic. I am pushing for some imaging to happen

You definitely need to have a proper screeening. It might appear to be not what it seems, so there’s no sense in speculating now. I hope you’ll be fine and the result’ll be OK. Please, share with us what you’ll find.

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Man, I should add something. Looks like, I probably experience some changes too. I noticed it already after replying to you and still have no idea is it just some blood flow issue or some tissue change. I am already used to seeing some shrinkage which I attributed to simply having less blood there. But today I saw that a condom left a clear mark which was present for quite long time and the skin after the mark looked red for even longer time. I don’t remember anything like this before and it wasn’t even really tight. It looks like the elasticity has decreased and the blood indeed is staying longer.

do you mean after ejaculation , the blood stays in the penis for too long? I know for me it does… i know its speculation what i think (fibrotic and elastic tissues unable to capture/ release blood very well compared to smooth muscle cells) but i have no other explanation for these changes. I advise to get some imaging done ASAP also man. i hate how my penis is feeling , its making me sick.

i do think its blood flow issue but not at the level of arteries/veins, but at the tissue level

Unfortunately, I’ll be able to do any screening only in 3 weeks. I guess, I’ll start with ultrasound + doppler.
I completely undrestan you. Tbh I freaked out a bit when I realized smth was wrong. Maybe, the blood indeed stays too long Idk. It felt like rubber. And the mark was quite deep despite I didn’t even have a proper erection and didn’t wear a condom actually long(I used to have waaay longer sex sessions and never noticed anything like this, the skin is still a bit red). All I know, before this shit happened to me, my dick used to work like a fucking Swiss watch mechanism. And now it is failing in every possible way.

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@Wings
May I ask what specific heart issue you have? Do you believe it resulted from PFS or had you had heart issues before? Have you had any resolution?

I was just diagnosed with LAE (left atrial enlargement) and have many of the ailments you wrote of in your opening post. I’m hoping for answers, is it PFS related. Jim

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How can I contact you Mitch?