Why? Look at all the attention we have garnered and nothing… I just keep losing.
I’ve alwayd thought of this thread as a personal journal for myself logging everything that has happened to me… my thoughts and feelings throughout the last two years battling this shit. Every small victory preceeded by a larger, personal, defeat.
When my GF kicked me out of the apartment and ended our relationship, two weeks later I was demoted and finally allowed to go back to work. I called her for some emotional support… three days later after no response I got an email from her saying she was dating one of her co-workers and to leave her alone.
Even she who tried to help me through everything eventually turned her back on me and left me. My parents who sit up in NY do nothing. My father who could have been an advocate for me when things were truly bad, instead decided to keep my “condition” private… as if privacy even matters after the things many of us have been through. Nearly everyone in my life close to me has either turned their back on me or done nothing to help me.
The government could have offered me a position that would have only been. $15, 000 pay cut… instead they gave me a job paying less than half what I would have made before. They didn’t demote me because they actually thought I was sick… they didn’t do it because of liability even… they did it to punish me. Why? Because almost no one on earth understands PFS. To them I was just some asshole probably making things up. Also being the only white guy surrounded by 5 hispanic managers probablh didn’t help either.
But in the end still things are what they are. The woman who at one time wanted to marry me is gone, my career has been totally ruined and my junk is still a mess on top of all that. Whatever happens from here on out I hope one day we have some form of redemption granted by the scientific proof that this is a “real” disease.