Hey Aero, we do have some hope. Don’t rule that out… but, in the meantime get your life going again.
If you’re looking for ways to ease into meeting women, try joining activities of some sort. Walking/running, yoga classes, cooking classes, etc. You aren’t there for the sole purpose of finding a gf, but, the interaction could lead to it. No pressure, anyways.
Have fun again!
Hi Everyone,
I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted, and I apologize for that, but I’m sure many of you can understand why I no longer do this frequently. There has been little improvement for me to report over the past few years from a sexual health perspective, and from all other post-PFS health perspectives, those have been addressed completely and those improvements were achieved a long time ago. A couple of noteworthy things have changed in my situation from my last posting over a year ago, however, so I signed into this forum today to bring everyone up to speed.
The first topic that I logged in to mention briefly is the serious shot that I took at dating during the summer and fall of 2013. Eventually, I was able to meet a nice, healthy, and very attractive woman that I spent significant time with through until late last November. I learned a lot about myself, and about how women see me as a result of this experience. It changed my perceptions of my strengths and weaknesses as a prospective partner. In the end it didn’t work out, but it didn’t work out for reasons that are common for any dating couple.
Her and I never got far enough along where sexual performance on my part was called for, but I will say that there was obviously never any doubt on her part that I was a healthy guy in all regards. Physically, I was attractive to her as well, and this did a lot to boost my self esteem and my confidence, and that was really exciting for me. It made me realize that my issues with low libido are not particularly relevant, provided that I am able to find a good woman who is a decent match for me in other regards, and as a result, really my only desire for additional sexual health improvement going forward pertains to the quality of my erections. Whenever the time does come, I just want to do the best job possible pleasing a romantic partner once it does become appropriate to develop a sexual relationship.
One issue that I will share concerns my affect. It was notably difficult for me to present a compelling case that I was in fact emotionally responsive to this woman. It seems as though I wasn’t showing enough visible emotion (i.e. facial expressions, etc.) to clearly communicate my feelings to her, whether those be in relation to happiness, sadness, disappointment, excitement, whatever, and this was a bit of a hurdle for me to get past, especially while I was seeing her initially. Of course, this woman is just one data point and there is a possibility that she is simply a type to expect a lot more outward emotion from her guy, but I don’t believe that this was the case and I can’t help feeling that this issue was a result of my years of relative isolation from dateable women and my disappointment and frustration with my medical situation. I believe on other areas of this forum I’d already noted that I felt that I have a bit of “shell shock” as a result of my Propecia experience, and I think that dating last year confirmed that this is one issue that hasn’t in fact been resolved. My hope is that as time passes, I will acquire additional experience and my comfort level will improve, and that as a result I will behave less awkwardly in certain social situations.
The second topic that I logged in to discuss regards my medication status. Once per year, during the summer, I visit Dr. Goldstein in San Diego for an annual follow-up. Last week I saw him for my 2014 visit, and as we reviewed my most recent blood test data and discussed my situation in general, we agreed to make several changes to my medications. My present medications are listed below, followed by the updates that he recommended.
Present:
Clomiphene Citrate 50 mg, #3 per week
Anastrozole 1 mg, #3 per week
Cabergoline 0.5 mg, #2 per week
Viagra 25 mg, #1 per day before bed
Testosterone 1% Cream, ~1 mL per day before bed (applied to genital area)
Updates:
Clomiphene Citrate 50 mg, #3 per week
Anastrozole 1 mg, #3 per week
Viagra 25 mg, #1 per day before bed
Stendra 100 mg, use before sexual activity
Andractim DHT Cream, ~1 mL per day before bed (also apply to genital area, if I wish)
We agreed that I would continue to consume the clomiphene citrate and the anastrozole because of my concerns that my testosterone levels could drop again if I tried to get off of these medications, and also, because they will protect my testicles from damage as I will continue to use direct supplementation with testosterone cream. I want to try to get off of the cabergoline because I’m a lot less sure that I still need it; I have concerns about side effects from long term usage, and also, I just don’t want to be consuming more medication than I really must. He agreed that I may discontinue cabergoline at this time, provided that I report back to him if it feels like I am developing a problem and it is not working out. Also, after enough time passes, I am planning to get another blood test conducted, just to confirm that my prolactin doesn’t rise back to abnormal levels.
No change to my nighttime consumption of Viagra was discussed, so I simply renewed this medication in his office. I’ll continue to take it before bed, as I have been, in order to try to slowly improve the blood flow to my genitals over the long term. Additionally, I complained about how Viagra flushes my face tremendously when I use it, and for that reason I don’t feel entirely comfortable using it recreationally when I go out socially, for possible sex associated with dating. Not only is the flushing very uncomfortable, but it is also very noticeable to others, and I have concerns that it would look weird to a woman to see my face go red like that without an obvious reason. Dr. Goldstein thus proceeded to prescribe Stendra as an alternative to Viagra, because it will improve my erections without flushing my face. I’m going to experiment with this one for a while to see how well it works.
I was a bit demoralized when Dr. Goldstein noted that there has been a consistent imbalance in the levels of T and DHT in my body, as indicated in the history of my blood test data, and that this is still true at the present time. To me, it seemed as though he was implying that there could be a lingering, deeper problem with my health in the aftermath of my experience with Propecia, and it made me feel that it was likely that I would be stuck on at least some medications for the rest of my life. He recommended that I switch from the testosterone 1% cream that I had been using, to a DHT cream called Andractim in order to help address this imbalance. Additionally, he noted that I could continue to apply this cream to my genitals in an attempt to improve sensitivity, and achieve benefits in that regard as well.
Andractim may turn out to be useful for me, but before I proceed to give it a try, I have concerns regarding my ability to acquire it legitimately that I must first address. It seems as though this medication is not FDA approved and must be ordered online from an overseas vendor, and apparently, can be purchased without a prescription despite the vendor noting that it is a “controlled substance” on their website and warning that the purchaser bears fully responsibility for the consequences of violating any legal regulations in their locale. I won’t continue to elaborate on and on here, but in short, I feel that this could potentially have serious impacts on my job and my career if it does turn out to be a legal issue. I’m not sure how this works with respect to the law, so if anyone on this forum has any experience/advice to offer, I would appreciate hearing it. If this is legally questionable in any way, then I won’t be ordering it.
That is all. I’m planning to check in again for another update after I get these prescriptions figured out, and once I have enough time in my schedule to sit down to document my thoughts and experiences. This will probably be six months from now.
All this is a waste of time and money and possibly risking complications. Go to the Baylor College of Medicine PFS research study. All expenses will be paid for. PM Jorbie if you have any questions.
This is extremely wise advice.
Why do you think this is a waste of time?