Just an update. It’s been 5 weeks post-fin and it’s been up and down.
Anxiety, nausea, insomnia etc were WORST the first two weeks. I cannot describe the feeling, fear of everything (even going to the bathroom). Brainfog was intense and derealization too.
These symptoms have lessened, however the anxiety is still here but not enough for an attack.
Depression has begun to kick in very hard, to the point that it becomes painful. The feeling of hopelessness. I don’t get how it is possible to have a day where I can be social and ‘feel’ myself again, and the next day feeling like a zombie. This feeling is not persistent to the same degree every single day, it comes and goes. However when it comes, it feels like there is no way out of it ever. Quite scary. Also ANY stressor trigger my anxiety and elevated heart beat…
After my first crash, I’ve had it twice that my penis went totally numb and I could not stimulate it at all. Some days passes and it functions just normally again, however low libido.
I am taking the following supplements: GABA, Magnesium, Omega 3 Fish oil, vitamin pills.
Eating lots of Kefir and garlic.
Also having aches in my left testicle which affects the whole left area (abdominal, upper leg, left butt etc.). Did a scan, and everything seemed normal. I do not masturbate at the moment due to the left testicular pain which becomes worse after ejaculation. I have been to numerous doctors and they all believe that I am suffering from an anxiety disorder (duh I have NEVER). I will be getting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), perhaps that will make it a little easier to live with my current condition, I am not sure. Giving it a chance.
The improvements I have seen after just 5 weeks are great, but not sufficient. I hope to see some more improvement after 5 weeks again, but nothing is guaranteed.