I can't go on anymore

General Discussion
#1

I can’t do this anymore. I am giving up. It’s been over 2 months and there is no sign of improving. Despite resting and eating healthy, all symptoms are getting worse. I looked through this entire forum and it doesn’t seem like anyone has been hit as hard as me. And when I did find the most severe PFS cases, they never recovered. So it looks like I’m on the same path. There is no hope for my condition.

I like to thank all the people here who have given me words of encouragement and hope to me. But my life is over. It’s completely ruined. Just before this happened to me, I was in the process of turning my life around. I had just gotten accepted into a new school, and I was trying to change my career. But I had to drop out. I cancelled all my plans. I can no longer work. My condition has completely crippled me. Even if I can work, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to a state where I can do heavy thinking. It is impossible now. I’m also severely in debt from previous school loans, and the interest will keep piling up. The longer I’m out of work, the more my life becomes ruined. I can’t believe this is happening to me but I realize I did this to myself. It feels unfair but I’ve accepted that it’s over.

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#2

Fight brother don’t stop fighting it will get better you will be okay 2 months is nothing it isn’t enough for body to revert back to changer when body builders use steroids.

you have to remember that this is not permanent it will get better like many people have gotten better.

we have people who are severely impacted and they get better over time. stay strong.

people who don’t get better are the once that took 5ar inhibitors or other inhibitors by mistake. this is what got them worst.

I passed CCNA exam 4 months ago, other have also done this you will be able to become programmer, maybe not now but in 1 year when you will be feeling better.

death is something that will come fore as all and it isn’t something to seek. Live your life make your mark on these planet and enjoy life.

please ask for help!!! talk to your parents relatives brothers sisters anyone close to you will help you.

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#3

I am one of the people here who doesn’t believe in epigenetic change. I believe that endocrine system got messed up, meaning our ability’s to digest food isn’t as efficient. that is why we have people lose muscles and get bed bound. diet and amino acids should give you some benefits try something and see what gives you benefits.

#4

@zzz123,

You haven’t given yourself enough time. This might take you years to get over. Do not be confused, your body is not broken. I was lucky to have had a day where everything reverted fairly early on. That one day showed me that things CAN work properly again. I would find it hard to believe if I hadn’t had that experience. Much as I wouldn’t think these symptoms were possible before I experienced them, near instant reversal is also possible.

The only thing you have to do is hold on.

It is possible for things to improve and it is possible for breakthroughs to occur.

If it’s possible for me to wake up and have a normal day, after doing NOTHING special, once we have worked out what’s going on, you can bet that treatment will get us all back to normality very quickly.

I know you have had the worst 2 months of your life, but in your lifetime it will be a tiny part of it. Hold on, there are good times ahead, right now things will be hard, but you can make it through, dig deep, you will need to, but we are on your side and will stand with you. We also need you to stand with us.

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#5

For the first time in 3.5 years I actually think there are real reasons for optimism (and I am not the optimist type). I am going to write about them soon but please don’t do anything stupid in the meantime.

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#6

@zzz123 Please don’t give up. You have many reasons to live for and at two months post crash, you’re very much in the worst period that most with PFS experience. There are many who get hit with the condition and later return to work. Are you able to rely on family or a friend during this period of your life where you are unwell? As hard as it may seem, this is the time to try to forget about work, a career, finances and just focus on yourself as best as you possibly can. You are focusing on what you call the worst cases and saying they didn’t recover. Recovery and improvement are two different things; improvements can and do happen in PFS, even for very severely affected people. Please give yourself the chance to see how much you can improve.

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#7

This has been said a million times, but it takes a handful of months for the condition to stabilize and for you to get a sense for what it’s like. You seem particularly down now that you had to drop out of your computer science program and are out of work but you can definitely come back from that. My life has had a ton of turbulence and volatility due to PFS but you learn over time to figure out what you need to do to make the best of your situation. And like I said, you don’t even know what you’re in yet before you’ve stabilized or tried treatments etc.

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#8

It sounds like you are way too young. I remember when I was young and I thought my life was over because I screwed up one final exam or something in school.

There are all kinds of ways to come roaring back. Even if it took 10 years. You could have an idea and start a company. You could meet an amazing woman or move to a fascinating new country. There are such incredible possibilities that you just aren’t able to recognize yet because you are in a psychological tunnel with the limited perspective of youth. Most people just sleepwalk through life clocking in day jobs and watching Netflix every night until they have a midlife crisis and wonder what the hell happened. Just survive for now and once a treatment arrives you will roar to the top because you went through the hardest thing a man can go through and survived, acquired vastly greater wisdom and perspective than 99% of people ever acquire in their entire lives.

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#9

I was in the same boat two months post crash. It’s now been a year and I’m just left with sexual sides. Despite this I’m in a relationship and just making the most of things. Give it time.

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#10

First of all, I think it is a good sign that you started off with some blood tests out of range, because that may explain many of your symptoms, and as your hormones recover, you will improve.

Your Testosterone two months ago was at the lower boundary. It has been rising steadily for the past two months and now is in the middle or the range. This is very promising.

Prolactin can take a longer time to normalize and high Prolactin does cause a lot of negative side effects, including sexual.

Hormonal disregulation usually takes many months to fix. People who came off androgen ablation therapy (which included finasteride) took a year to restore 90% of their Testosterone and additional 3 yeas to go back to normal, as far as I remember from a graph I have posted before.

The reason why any of this is relevant is because I believe the evidence indicates there are two types of PFS. The first type may be caused by hormonal disregulation and the second by epigenetic silencing of genes.

It seems that the people with PFS type 1 usually make a complete recovery. Indeed, there are many cases on this site of people who made a complete recovery. I believe it is a good sign, as I said above, that you have clear hormonal abnormalities, because as these normalize, you will improve.

Even if you have PFS type 2, which so far has appeared untreatable, I believe there are reasons for optimism about that as well.

The evidence indicates, in my opinion, that strenuous exercise may be able to change gene expression of silenced genes, including the gene for 5ar type 2, which I believe is at the root of PFS. I have gathered evidence for this hypothesis in this thread: Exercise and Epigenetic Regulation

I personally hold a lot of optimism about this possibility and have embarked on an exercise regimen which will hopefully become strenuous soon.

As others said above, you have to be patient in your recovery. You won’t even know what persistent symptoms you have if any before 3-6 months have passed. You have to give yourself time and not panic and act impulsively in these early stages.