I’ll just add to this that I totally agree with this logic.
I can perform each and everytime with my GF, but NEVER on my own! I keep a diary of my progress, with all my thoughts and feelings and by looking in it, I can see back for months I have been fine having sex, but still my mind tells me I am fucked up.
So far, I’ve put this down to that when I am with my GF, she is touching me and I can’t feel myself, so don’t worry. When I am touching myself, I can feel that is not erect, so start to worry - which then kills any chance.
The most ridiculous thing happened to me in January. I somehow managed to relax myself so much, that I was able to have a 20 minute “self love” session
This then gave me confidence the next day, and I was able to repeat. This happened for 4 days, until on the 4th (just 30 minutes after I finished) - I got it into my head that this is too good to be true, and it’s just the calm before the storm (again) … next day… totally dead.
My diary confirms it’s my mind, but my mind just won’t listen!