Lots of people here have had healthy children. There are enough healthy kids out there at this point where we know PFS isn’t passed onto offspring. Regarding “the talk”, if you are far enough along that you are having sex, you’re 1/2 there to a committed relationship. She will know something’s up without having to have that conversation about it and make the decision to continue with the relationship. Sex is just one piece of the puzzle and if you are willing to satisfy her in other ways (provide children, stability, etc) you would be surprised by the response you might get. But you don’t know unless you try.
I have heard that people have had children since PFS but that befuddles me to a certain degree. For years my semen was completely clear. It’s now whiter most of the time but I can’t always shoot it out very far and the volume is low. Are others having these same symptoms and still getting women pregnant? It just seems like the perfect combo for fertility issues
Most of the women I’ve been on dates with in this age group mostly seem focused on finding a match and are taking things slow. The topic of kids and marriage has come up but not of sex. Given PFS and my terrible anxiety about all this I would want to have that talk before intercourse. Because of the issues I think there’s a good chance she would notice I’m not 100% hard or maybe having issues keeping it really hard.
Did you get into sex before having the pfs talk and if so how did the sex go? Good enough that your partner could tell you had issues?
And i assume you had the PFS talk with your spouse at some point. I’m curious as to how she responded. I would assume a lot of people would somewhat not believe our experiences even if they don’t want to outright say that
If you want to talk about it, make sure you don’t do it in a self-pitying way
Did you ever see the movie “the heavenly kid”? It’s a silly (but fun) movie from the 80s. Father comes back from the dead to help his kid with life and the ladies. One of the most important bits of advice he gives his kid is that he has to present this image of confidence. Whatever happens he can handle it. “I got it covered” is the phrase he uses to show that whatever life throws at him, he has it covered…he can handle it.
It’s very easy to let PFS do your head in and the worst thing you can do is approach a woman with some kind of inferiority complex. We’re damaged goods, but we don’t have to act like it. If you have a lack of confidence, it’s going to show, and it’s going to be off-putting for the girl.
I think all of us lack confidence and that’s why many of us took finasteride in the first place. PFS changed the whole way I look at the world. Now I see the girl with the breast implants as the least confident girl in the room. We should have just “owned” the baldness, but what’s done is done.
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I would like to share my experience as I have been into physical relationship on and off.
I was struck with PFS in March 2015 and I got married in June 2015. Got separated from my wife after 4 years of marriage primarily due to almost no physical intimacy between us. In 4 years(48 months )of courtship I think I didn’t/couldn’t make physical relationship for any more than 12 times. And even those 12 times were not pleasurable enough for my partner. Obviously the relationship had to end.
Either I didn’t feel like making love or if I felt then I didn’t get erection. Such was the situation when often my partner made advances.
The thought of getting into another relationship is horrifying to me as I think of what would I do or be able to do.
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Man, I’m so sorry to hear this. I do have questions if you’re willing to answer them. Like, did you have a discussion with your wife about pfs? How did she respond? How did you explain it? What kind of communication did you have as the relationship continued through these difficulties?
The first few years of my PFS it was like a living hell. Even looking at a woman and thinking about sex actually made me feel sick so i can imagine how difficult it was with someone else’s expectations making you feel even more pressure.
I’ll have more to ask about, i’m sure, but I don’t want to bombard you with questions. Just know that I relate to what you’re going through and share the same fears as you do
@nate99
I didn’t disclose to my wife about PFS primarily for the following three reasons:
- For almost 2 years I myself had no clue of what had happened to me. It was only after 2 years and few months after my crash in May 2015 that I accidentally discovered this forum online while digging the internet on possible reasons for my impotence. By this time my relationship had already become irrepairable and I was only waiting for us to part our ways. There was no scope of communication.
- I don’t know which part of the globe you are from and if you can understand what is common in India where I am from but here marrying a stranger whome you have never met or known or interacted is a common practice and I too married the same way so it was further more difficult to establish the rapport without sex being the binding force.
- Don’t take me wrong as it is my personal opinion but I believe that a man’s heart can be filled with love for a woman out of emotion and sympathy but women don’t act that way. For them sympathy can never convert into love. A woman always needs a man who can fulfill her desires, a man who is strong, potent, wise, witty, etc. Women don’t look up to man who is weak, distressed, dipressed, needs help or compassion or sympathy. They might sympathize with you but will never stick with you. I might be wrong though.
However even though she didn’t know about PFS as I never told her but whether it is PFS or it is some other reason the end result would be same which is no desire and no sex.
The worst part is that I neither felt like doing it and if I felt/tried then I could not attain erection.
I feel sad not only for myself but also for my wife as it was not her fault.
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I too became father of a male child without any problem at all but most probably all the credit goes to my partner.
As far as the semen is concerned I too have much less volume after PFS and I too can not shoot it at all. It just spills out; that’s it. Furthermore even in my case the semen was much clear before PFS however it is thick and white now.
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Hi sorry for the late reply. Wow, that’s just rough. To go through pfs with a partner that is practically a stranger and not feel like you can open up about it all. I can totally understand given the timing and circumstances how you ended up not disclosing it. Are you still married to this woman now? Would it help to try to explain any of this to her? But I guess there’s no real connection between you as it is
I’m really happy to hear that out of all of this adversity, you got to father a son. Not all of us are going to be so lucky and there are times when I just really understand how much was stolen from me. Well, gives me some hope that even with the lowered volume, watery semen, and lack of shooting distance, you did impregnate someone. Not that that is ever going to happen for me but it’s good to know that’s still a possibility if the right situation comes along
Dating is out for me. I will never be able to get past the initial conversation/flirty stage. My brain is too destroyed and I’m 99% in hell mentally.
Was talking to a girl initial convo was good bc I was doing not too bad for a week or so. Then all went to hell now I can even form a thought. She texts me and its like a high pressure nightmare and then I just say some garbage. No fun, no confidence nothing. Like I feel absolutely brain dead and miserable when a woman texts me. Literally like my brain hurts and feels a dulling empty ache. And even when I muster something it’s trash. So yeah.
I don’t see dating as an option again unless she’s very desperate herself and clingy which isn’t good.
Fuck this condition
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