Boys I am in desperate need of some insight Please!

General Discussion
#1

Boys…Im just at my end. I merely can not take this anguish anymore, truthfully. It consumes my days. I can’t even remember when there was a day where I woke up and felt good about the day and others to come. Then one day I thought losing my hair was the WORST thing in the world, foolish boy. I took this fucking poison blindly without research or second opinion, fuck me. These last couple of years have truly, truly been my lowest and only by the compassion and understanding of my parents I am still here. God only knows where I’d be if I didn’t have them.

Now, I know there are men on this site physically suffering worse in terms of severity and the quantity of side effects and BELIEVE I empathize, seriously. My biggest complaint is the genital insensitivity and sometimes my penis takes on odd shapes. Hard flaccid? Probably, but not sure.
However, because of these symptoms I am so drenched in pure fear that I will never:

  1. be able to enjoy sex ever. I just want the amazing sensation of penetration into a vagina back. (not much to ask, right?)
  2. have a romantic relationship with a girl I love
  3. have children

Just as a side note. Seen Jacobs (once on the phone and another in person). Checked my blood levels and says that I do not suffer from textbook PFS.
But still, this shit fucked my dick up so I am in the same boat as you guys as far as Im concerned. He put me on Ativan hoping that it would calm me down. Idk.

It’s all I think about and nothing will distract me. I also feel that I have lost the ability to love a girl. Now, this maybe from the propecia or the depression associated with my issues with my penis. That can really drain your self worth and confidence and nothing worse than those to kill libido or loving feelings.
I just want to feel like the way I was when I was 17 or 18 and saw a girl I just wanted to, you can imagine. Instead I am merely filled with utter melancholy. I swear if these symptoms disappeared you’d see the happiest man in the world. I feel I would be that man had propecia not hurt me.

I simply don’t see a future with those things I want and with each passing day the dream wanes as my fear grows staring down the barrel of a potentially lonely life and contemplating ending it, which I don’t want but what the fuck else am I supposed to do.

So…why am I here? For suggestions, for some perspective, some guidance, compassion? Idk…Idk boys.
Thanks for reading. Good luck to all. Much love.
Stephen

#2

Killing yourself over sex, quite frankly, sounds ridiculous. I know (knew) that sex is a beautiful thing and, yes, not being able to have a normal sex life sucks, but there is more to enjoy in this word than sex. There are people here who can barely do anything because of severe depression and fatigue. They don’t give up. So don’t let your parents down because of sex. It’s absurd.

That being said, have you tried to improve your sexual function using medication? It will not give you back your sensitivity, but it could help you to have sex, children and perform your “duty” in a romantic relationship.

And, of course, support the research efforts of the PFS Foundation. It’s our best shot to maybe someday find a cure for this condition!

#3

Hi Stephen,
It’s ridiculously tough man.ridiculous.
It is a hell on earth.Every morning I wake up with the same feelings.its living in a horror movie and you can’t get out of it.
There is some light with these studies.hang on to that and maybe luck will be on our side.you just never know.
Honestly I’m struggling to keep going but see what happens with these studies.life nigh get turned around.
All the best.

#4

I totally agree with you, its like talking about kill yourself because cant eat chocolate anymore. My friend, trying to not obses with, i can give MY EVERYTHING to change my body with you. Think about all day you are feeling like drunk, while youre eating, shitting, studying, talking watchin. Its brain fog and didnt dissappear for 5 months .Its literally hell. Life is precious and dont let this sexless life kills you. It will be worst decision even worse than taking propecia.

#5

Boys, I appreciate the responses I do. But I wouldn’t every in a million years compare sex to chocolate. Being deprived of something that’s etched in our instincts and dna can really fuck with someone’s head. Especially a man’s because if you take sex away from him, then what is he?

Believe me I don’t want to end my life. Id rather everything get better so I can enjoy it again. But I find myself venting by fantasizing about it. In different ways to. For example, when I was really bad a few months ago I prayed for some disease or whatever and I imagined telling the doctor that I would not take treatment to save my life. I even would say over and over “I wish I was never born” to my mothers face no less. I know that’s fucked up but nonetheless is how I feel and the truth. Im just filled with hurt.

But I don’t want to vent anymore I think I painted that picture.
I just need some tips or guidance or kind words at this point,

#6

Why dont you follow cdnuts protocol, at least testo boosters.

#7

I’ve been recommended that before but I can not find it at all.
Can someone be so kind as to provide me the link to the CDNUTS protocol please.

#8

I suggest water fasting for two or three weeks (which is part of CDnuts protocol), its the only thing that has given me permanent benefits.

#9

The number one thing you can do is to apply to be part of the studies that are currently going on. Scientific researchers are actively taking patients on so that this problem can be investigated, in a university-level setting. This is the only way that large numbers of men are going to get answers to their problems.

I’d strongly encourage you to apply for the studies. You will be directly contributing to your own future. You will be directly contributing to uncovering the mechanisms behind PFS. You will be directly contributing to the possibility of being able to fuck like a normal person again.

Ask yourself:

How badly do you want those feelings of lust again? When you saw a beautiful woman cross your path in the street and you felt that twinge and urge.

How badly do you want that feeling back, where you wake up in the morning with a boner and you’re thinking about that special girl you’re probably going to see later today in your neighbourhood, block of flats, school, or workplace?

How badly do you want the ability to encounter a random hot girl, when you are out with your bros or whatever, and you have that massive desire to get her back to your place?

If you really want those feelings back, go to the front page of the PFS website, follow the links to Post Finasteride Syndrome Foundation, with the studies by major US medical institutions - Baylor College of Medicine, Brigham & Women’s Hospital. Fill in the application forms for both. You will be making a direct contribution to uncovering why these feelings are no longer happening - and taking a massive step towards how we can fix this.

#10

I sympathise with every word you said buddy. That rush of excitement I used to get when on a date and knowing where things were heading after. That made the effort all worth while. That made looking good, making money, social status all worth while but now with no libido it all seems not worth the effort. Life isn’t worth the effort.

Sex to me was as important to living as eating or breathing. Losing the ability to enjoy it or even desire is up there with some of the most devastating things which can happen to a man. I try to think of it like I’ve had a terrible spinal cord injury and it’s a miracle I can still have full use of my limbs. I guess you can just try to be positive but it’s hard. I know I’m not the same man.

Also like you if I didn’t have very supportive parent id be underground, very nearly was.

#11

I agree with GelHead. Please don’t waste time and money following a protocol that CDNuts himself isn’t even sure helped. The PFS Foundation and the research going on at Harvard and Baylor are our best hope. Please participate in research, donate to the Foundation, and considering telling your story on the PFS podcast.

#12

Have you considered giving this a try?

http://www.propeciahelp.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=9137

#13

First and foremost, THANK U THANK U THANKU, for the responses boys. means a lot to me.
As per the last post, I am not sure about progesterone supplementation, If someone can enlighten me on the positives vs the negatives thatd be great cuz im in the dark.
Never heard of the Dopamine against you suggested. Only heard of dostinex which I mentioned to Jacobs and says that for me personally it’s a last resort. But I am very intrigued. it sounds better than dostinex and will mention it to Jacobs when I email him on Tuesday. any info on that as well would be appreciated.

#14

Hi there sg8627

I just wanted to say a few things in light of your post.

Compounding the various side effects which propecia has caused us to experience is the hellishly painful fact that there currently is no solution out there to provide us with both a plan and hope that we can get back to where we were. Both this lack of an apparent solution and this terrible experience of loss for something we used to take for granted and should still have is psychologically very difficult to accept. This pain can really eat you up. I know from experience that when the focus on seeking solutions and grieving for this apparent loss became less intense that my suicidal thoughts diminished too. This whole thing fucking sucks and it is a struggle to renegotiate how you view your life in light of what has happened, but it is possible to feel a bit better and continue to live with what has happened. It’s also good that you’ve got your parents on your side. Wishing you all the best in this fight.

#15

Hello Soctsman,
Thank you for the post brother. I could not have said it better myself. Im not sure where I read it, maybe on this post, that I guess I must treat this thing as if I were in a terrible accident. I must reassess my actions and my thinking. But don’t want to and shouldn’t have to. I feel my entire way of thinking and feeling and viewing everything has changed for the worse. Full of pessimism in every encounter or situation I endure. The only thing that could offer me a chance at happiness is meeting I girl that I really cared for and liked that would understand my condition and be with me in spite of that. But as we all know, one red flag with these girls today and it’s see ya later Charlie because they have sooo many options compared to the guy whose dick is a little fucked by goddamn motherfucking propecia.

Sex should be fun and not an anxiety ridden chore. I should be wanting it not be terrified of it. I swear if a gorgeous girl came up to me on the street and said “right here, right now” id find some excuse to not for fear of failing and being reminded once again of what I am. Life should not be this hard man. And fucking no one knows of this but us guys. Fuckin hell.
what the fuck am I…we…supposed to do?

#16

This has been addressed. We have to solve this problem, and that means we have to donate to the PFS Foundation and have to participate in the on-going scientific studies of our condition. It’s the only way.

#17

This is the answer.

It is extremely clear what is needed. (1) Apply to participate in the studies. (2) Make Donations to PFS Foundation.