I’m grateful for the kind words, advice and sentiment’s. Please keep this thread going…I still am looking into finding the best outlet for me. I know that after all these years suffering, is that a place to heal is what I certainly seek.
In regard’s to the above comment: the trouble and frustrating thing with the ongoing cognitive issues, I suffer from, and other’s, is that we also deal with terrible daily headaches, head tightness/pressure. This has been ongoing for years since stopping. The other alarming thing, is that certain foods or liquid’s make the cognitive issue’s worse. So, it isn’t only a case of lacking sheer willpower of mind, or by simply thinking positively; there are also oftentimes physical and digestive component’s associated with the cognitive disruption all seemingly tied together. A very frustrating and frighteningly complex issue. I’m sure most are so drained like myself, from fighting this condition, because it’s incredible uncomfortable, for one thing, it’s constantly there, and hard to live through on the daily. I swear, it get’s so bad that you feel as if your leaving a party stoned or drunk off your ass, and trying to get back home in one piece. In the end, it’s like your not fully conscious, or aware, yet you seem to be relying solely on muscle memory or instinct’s just to guide you and get you through another day. Lack of food or fasting also helps improve the condition. Does that sound like depression or anxiety anyone?
I wonder if I could chip in here and ask for some advice of my own (without meaning to take the subject away from you Roberto), but I myself have been wondering these last few weeks what is the best place for one to try and recover.
Right now I have a dilemma between accepting a job I’d really quite like in the big city, or taking a more low-key job that I don’t mind (but which is less prestigious/career-oriented) in a smaller city, where I’d have more time to focus on health issues.
I can’t work out whether it’s better to try and tackle this problem whilst building a career and doing something I really value (i’ve just left uni) but also trying to live the city life, or to take a step back for a while to try and deal with things. I accept that the city job would improve my self-esteem, but the lower-key job would allow me to focus totally on recovering from this as best I can.
What do you reckon is more important: Self-esteem or a chilled out environment?
I don’t think anyone can tell you what’s the best option there Franz. The big job in the city could give you a confidence boost as well as keep your mind stimulated. However, it might be stressful and your health could take a backseat spot. The smaller job in the town will allow you time to focus on your health more and relaxing but then again you might get bored and start feeling as if you aren’t doing enough with your life. It might not actually make any difference whatsoever, where you are or what your doing, so if i were you i would simply follow your instinct as you would without PFS.
Congratulations on finishing University. Where and what did you study? i just dropped out of my second year at university so i am looking for standard, menial jobs. Anxiety started to destroy me and i just couldn’t handle a course that i wasn’t that keen on anyway when i was so unhappy in the rest of my life.
I can’t believe you can actually fathom that. I certainly can’t even imagine that part of my ego anymore. It’s been stamped out by this illlness.
I think it’s great that other’s are starting to talk about this, as I’m reassured that I’m not the only one with these issue’s.
Franz, take the chilled out environment. Hands Down. Good luck.
I think ego has no place in my life any longer. Propecia destroyed that. It was the old me. The superficial, good looking, great hair, creative, charming, well dressed and go getting. The new me is one that MUST heal.
You could take the self destructive route, deny reality (propecia use has destroyed our natural balance), which would eventually kill you sooner, and you might literally fall apart, and certainly age much sooner, break down with more probable health issues. Before all this, I was a top ‘mod’ or modernist. I loved clothes, good music, fashion, looks, good looking girls and a bright future in the arts. I felt and looked my very best. I was 34 when i took the pull, but was actually mistaken for a 21 year old many times. I had swagger and confidence to boot! I took that pill.
Now, I have health issues and look much destroyed, stressed and aged. I feel cursed or even punished by God…sad.
You could do the high road, as I could have prior to this tragedy, but it would be self destructive for me personally.
It would be counter productive to chase my formal life and the high road ladder now.
I would literally become a speeding, racing ship in outer space trying to break through earth’s atmosphere…falling apart to bits and burned alive. We are burned out and need time to heal.
Be honest with yourself. It might take years mate, so do yourself a favor and don’t pour gas on your wounds. I personally can’t handle much of any stress any longer. I’m still looking for a plan or goal towards putting myself in the best position to heal.
Money or ego is so unimportant to me, and how could it be, when my mind, senses and dulled intellect don’t see reality the same way it was…reality is altered as is the mind, constanly imbalanced. I can’t feel love or anything for that matter like I used to.
Perfect way to describe this. We are like zombies or like the documented LSD user’s who never ‘came back to earth’ after their drug trips (syd barrett-pink floyd founder) or even chemically lobotomized. I’m absolutely jealous that you can actuallly think of ego. You are blessed man. I lost that capacity.
Not a criticism at all, but Franz; if your imbalanced, feel unhealthy or chemically cognitively lobotomized, then how could you even think of ego or great success?
I personally had great dreams and had to place all my ambition on hold and forced change.
Healing is the most important thing for me. My condition is so bad, like a diabetic’s, or brain damaged victim’s, that I have no choice but to constantly think about it daily and try to heal.
Good shit Bryce. Hawaii sounds like a great place to heal for a bit and lick wounds. Surfing is def. pretty damn cool.
The D will help.
I guess I started this post to generate some idea’s for permanent alternative living arrangements, that would help with the healing process. I suppose it was for the ‘minority’ of guys on here who are stuck being mad sick from propecia AND stuck in a negative living situation. Double fucked lives. Some of us would like to simply move away somewhere far and hide somewhere nice. Propecia really changed some of us entirely, and the people around us no longer look at us the same way. We are like leper’s to them. Some parents of my certain friends say I look like a drug addict. It’s because I keep a low profile and have a hard time working any jobs. I look haggard and tired all the time and my former confident enthusiastic self is gone. Some of us feel rejected in this way. Some of us are treated terribly and made to feel worse, insulted, and repulsed by the new post propecia you. So, certain people and loved one’s, that you counted on, might not really believe you, might think your weird, on drugs, or not have any love for you for that matter. I personally have been made an example of, and rejected by my friends and family.
I mean if your sick, then how could you possibly expect to heal in a dark place or home life. Some people need a complete fresh start, where nobody knows your name or what you were like before.
Keep in mind, I also went on sunny vacations when I had the loot and fucked up head from propecia.
The vacay’s helped, but it was always the same when I came home. No love, only electricity
What I’m getting at, is an environment that foster’s healing, should be a permanent, new and healthy ‘home base’ for you.
If you have one now, then you are very lucky for sure. Some of us on here, including myself, do not.
Not sure if you have cognitive propecia related illness or not, but physical activity does help. Good luck and have fun in the sun!
Hi @robertino_totti, im sorry to hear what youre going thru man. Know youre not alone. I am in the exact same place as you are now. How do you manage the cognitive impairment? Do you take any drug to get by at least?
