I think you meant @agarman?
Hi there.
Thanks for checking in all! I’ve been back and forth - not very consistent at all.
I thought I was crashing a few days ago when I was cold and numb, but bounced back the next day to one of my best days ever (Sunday - Tuesday). I took some L-Arginine and it seemed to help with circulation at those low points.
Yesterday night I noticed I got cold and shrunken again… super discouraging. Cannot downplay the mental side for me at least - I have a tendency to spiral and think that I’m crashing and will never recover ever. I went to bed, got some crappy sleep (thanks stress) but woke up to very hard nocturnal erections. I have been having those fairly consistently through all of this - but funnily can’t remember if I did or not prior to fin. Think it’s all a good sign.
Looking to dial in my diet more over the next few weeks. Trying to stay optimistic and off of these forums a bit more tbh - puts me in a bad mental place. Really like the support and connecting with others here though.
I’ll keep this updated as I go. Thanks again all.
Edit: Forgot to mention. I noticed increased urinary leakage after peeing yesterday with my cold/shrunken episode. Noticed that since I got off fin actually… prostate or muscle related? I’m also looking to dial in my diet more tightly over the coming weeks and also am seeing a pelvic floor PT specialist next week. I think part of this is muscle/PF related - from what I can tell a lot of “hard flaccid” sufferers have similar symptoms. I notice that I definitely regain size and temp fairly noticeably when sitting on a toilet or squatting down, leading me to believe it could be playing a role.
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Just continuing to update here.
I’ve been back and forth - very strange how this has been progressing. Some days I’ll notice I’m cold and shrunken, and other days I’m actually mostly normal. I’ve noticed a few bouts of insomnia as well where I can’t seem to hit a deep sleep without waking up - magnesium has seemed to help with that the last several nights.
Semen has bounced between being watery and normal - most recently watery again. Can feel anxiety creep in from time to time but seems better when I’ve reduced my caffeine intake and spend less time worrying on these forums.
LIbido fairly low still - but catch glimpses of it coming back, checking out women, having sexual thoughts, etc. Still have nightly nocturnal erections from what I can tell - even had trouble going back to sleep I got such a large one (don’t remember getting them much before fin. funnily enough). Penis still has that bend and looks just weird many times, typically in morning to afternoon when testicles tend to retract… but if that’s the worst I come out with I’ll be beyond estatic.
Noticing feeling better when I reduce carbs from my diet. Been eating fairly healthy with a lot of spinach (per dolichol protocol) and nuts, meats, etc. Amazed at how much not thinking about this and focusing on the positives (thank god I only took a low dose topical!) and recovery stories here and particularly over at swole.
Been on a few good days in terms of temperature and not having hard flaccid… we’ll see if it continues. I’m continuing to keep diet dialed in, working out hard, drinking no alcohol, staying positive/occupied, and taking supplements. Arginine seemed to have a good effect on me the 3 or 4 times I’ve tried it - avoiding to not build a tolerance though. Amazingly seems that recovery stories all follow a certain pattern - crazy strong diet, healthy mindset, exercise, and some supplementation.
Fingers crossed on improvements or at least no major crash…
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Hey @agarman,
I’ll need to side with Pete on this one, I think a lot of this is due to anxiety and stress. Both of these cause the body to react in certain ways, all of which is typically negative.
Some of the fine folks on this site suggested some meditation and relaxing music to ease out some of the anxiety and it has helped me tremendously. Maybe give this a try.
As for your potential Peyronies, I do not believe you have this. You would not be touching yourself as much as you have been, even with high libido. This disease causes much more anxiety because of the actual deformity in your erections. My Peyronies started while I was on Fin and immediately noticed the pain. Not everyone has pain, but a great majority do.
You should still go to a Urologist to get this checked out, if you haven’t already.
Try giving your member a couple weeks to rest (no erection checking, masturbation, etc.), you may notice some positive differences. Try to remember your body is recovering from a very extreme drug, which takes time to do, sometimes even months.
Good luck!
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Any updates on your situation? Sorry to hear this has happened
Hi there.
Not many major updates from me.
I think I have been trending better the last week or so. Been off for about 5 weeks now. Haven’t experienced coldness or numbness for a bit, which is all a good sign. No mental sides except a few nights of insomnia that seemed to dissapate when I took some magnesium and calmed down. Post void dribble and anxiety has calmed down.
Only thing remaining that bothers me quite a bit is occasional watery semen and daily penis/testicle changes.
I wake up with a normal sized and looking penis and testes, which almost always retract/shrink once I get up and around. Testicles stay retracted but not painful until later in the afternoon/evening when they seem to go back to normal again… Same goes for penis - has the hourglass shape appear at this time, but goes away in the later day… Taking this to mean I’m not out of the woods yet…
I think cleaning up my diet (paleo), staying positive and out of these forums, exercise, and trying to not think about all of this has helped. I’ll be continuing to avoid alcohol and bad foods over the coming months in hopes that my daily changes don’t lead to a crash or worsen. If this is all I get out with I’ll be beyond extatic.
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You will recover. That’s sure. Hm, within let’s say 2-4 months. Cause your body is healing very fast. I don’t know why but if your paleo diet works for you, go on. For most ppl here instead this route unfort. hasn’t cured anybody. Hm, I ask myself why? Would you mind participating in the 23 and me project?
It would be cool to see what genetics you have and why YOU are progessing so fast and others not. Many thx!
I will absolutely be participating - ordering my info this week. Same goes for contributing monthly to the foundation.
We’ll see if I keep progressing or not. Will continue to update. Much love to you all.
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Glad to hear things seem to be improving
Hi all -
Thought I’d check in one more time here.
Things have been going well for me since I initially posted. Pretty much 100% back to normal - and hard to tell if some of the stuff i was going through after the first few weeks was real or just mental.
I’m still having a few lingering things such as what looks like minor peronie’s (small dent) at times, and now have some blood in my semen. I’m going to a urologist to get that all checked out.
Libido is back. Anxiety is back to normal. No more shrinkage that I can tell.
Will report back in a few months with a final update. Hope everyone is improving…
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