Obviously this affects everyone differently but I haven’t had any issues with food but I’d try to not obsess over what food you consume. If possible, just try to eat cleanly. Getting a stool test may be a good idea to see your microbiome in your gut.
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Thanks for replying with your experience, and I’m sorry to hear you got more problems from that.
Yeah I think you’re right, I need to try and not worry about the foods so much and just generally eat clean. I was trying to search for the safest diet in the hopes it would allow my body the ability to heal early on. But it seems different things affect different people and that I’m likely also in this for the long term.
I’ve not actually had many reactions from foods either, but then again I have kept my diet fairly restricted. I did however have terrible constipation and a slowing of my digestion at the begining which made me overall concerned with what was happing to my body in regards to what I was eating.
The only specific issues that have come up which I think were likely triggered by food was today with the anhedonia, and a couple days a go when I drank some kefir which worsened my tinnitus for the rest of the day. Both these times could have been a coincidence, but it seemed related. I actually use to drink kefir daily without issue too, as well as eat sardines and multiple eggs daily.
Other than those 3 foods for now, plus tomatoes & avocados, I’m just going to go back to eating my same old food and try not to over think it.
I woke up with an erection this morning which I was incredibly surprised about. It basically faded within a few seconds of waking however. The skin had also regained it’s elasticity, this also faded after some time however.
Weirdly last night seemed like a bad time for my penis, I was quite worried. It felt so incredibly cold, it was pale in colour, and the head had maybe 5% sensitivity, if that, and 0 sensitivity everywhere else. The insomnia and suicidal ideation was much worse. I also couldn’t feel my heart beating in my chest, I felt more cut off from my body which was horrible. Oh and the anhedonia was still there, and still is today.
Currently my penis is back to it’s sort of PFS baseline state, which is lack of elasticity in skin, no sensation in shaft, floppy / jelly like, good sensitivity on the head (right now it’s around 75% which is the highest it sometimes gets to, it varies from 10 to 75%).
I’m not sure if there was a cause for any of this, or if it was just random fluctuations. The things which were different yesterday were:
- I ate some different foods in addition to my usual foods. The new ones were a small amount of watermelon, quite a lot of butter, and an apple.
- I did my first “workout” yesterday since my crash. Only 3 exercises, lateral raises, push ups and chin ups, but I pushed the sets quite hard. I didnt want to do too much volume incase it was too much for my body to handle.
There’s probably no point in this update, in that there’s nothing to learn from it. I just feel so hopeless with what’s going on, I don’t know what to do other than record what’s happening and to try and do healthy habits as best I can.
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This is brutal.
Im not even sure if I got any sleep last night.
Definitely no sleep until 5am, at which point I went downstairs. I might have had a little sleep on the sofa for no more than an hour, but I’m not sure.
The fatigue and anhedonia is unreal. I’ve barely been able to move off the sofa today. Only to do things like get a drink, go to the toilet. I tried playing so music to try and motivate myself to do things but it felt so flat, and as if I had cotton in my ears so I just turned it off.
I’m going to take some sleeping pills tonight. I’ve got a bunch of either:
- Kalms Valerian root 96mg
- Clonazepam 0.5mg
- Pregabalin 50mg and 25mg capsules. Not sure if this works as a one time sleep aid, or if it needs to build up. I will probably skip this one for now anyway.
I’m going to have a look on the forum to see if anyone’s had any issues from either. If anyone’s online and sees this and has had experience with either valerian root or clonazepam please let me know how you got on.
I think I saw some posts where people used Zopiclone and Zolpidem which seemed to work well for short term use. I might ask my doctor for some next week if this keeps up.
What’s crazy is I feel exhausted and have so much fatigue, but somehow I also don’t feel tired and just won’t be able to sleep.
Welp, I never thought getting an erection would feel like an achievement, but here we are.
After my crash (16 days a go), my sexual functions were mostly okay still - I was hit hard by the other symptoms initially. After masturbating and ejaculating, I think on the 2nd day post crash, I basically developed complete impotence however. I’ve only had one weak erection upon waking and managed to get a weak semi from manual stimulation another time. Other than that my penis just hasn’t worked at all, not even a little bit. I’ve had zero libido as well, except I guess 1 sex dream.
This evening however, I noticed I had maybe 5 to 10% libido for the 1st time. I watched some porn, did some manual stimulation and after a good while I started to get hard. My penis felt very light even as it got harder which was really odd. It’s felt weirdly light this whole time whilst flaccid, but still felt very light even when getting hard.
After a while with a semi I felt like I could possibly ejaculate if I wanted to, but I held back. I kept going and eventually reached about ninety percent of my pre fin erection. It was actually a good erection to be fair. After manually maintaining it for a few minutes I stopped, and it very quickly went flaccid again. This is the first time I’ve actually felt any sensitivity in the shaft as well. I’ve only felt some sensitivity in the head up until now.
I decided not to ejaculate in case it sets me back or triggers another crash. Honestly I think I’m going to be scared to ejaculate ever again lol. But I’m really pleased about today. I might try to get an erection again tomorrow if I can. Hopefully I can keep building it back up.
I’m not sure what caused the improvement. It could just be time since it is still early days, it could be a random fluctuation while I still haven’t reached a baseline, or maybe it had something to do with yesterday as it wasn’t my usual day. I went to a party and took 0.125 mg Clonazepam beforehand to make it more manageable since these things usually make me very anxious. While I was there I ate a bunch of junk food. (I havent noticed any adverse reaction to the foods as far as I can tell, which is something Ive been worried about). I did feel, and still feel even now, very spacy and dissociated, but I think that is more to do with the event being overwhelming for me.
Today Ive found it hard to do anything. I have mostly just been on the sofa again. Very little drive and a lot of anhedonia.
Tomorrow I am going to try to exercise for the second time. I keep putting it off, but Im hoping it will help, it’s just been so hard to do it. Before my crash I was working out regularly every other day and was very motivated so this has been a totally flip of what I was usually like.
I also want to try and get back to exercising as I’m also gaining fat quite quickly from not doing much. I’m hoping if I lower my body fat it might also help stop my nipples and chest from constantly tingling where I think gyno is setting in. I’ve got some definite lumps forming behind the nipples. I think I read the more body fat you have the easier it is from your body to turn testosterone into estrogen or something. I’m not fat, but am definitely putting on more fat currently.
I used to exercise and had a physique to be proud of. When PFS hit I didn’t have the strength or frame of mind to exercise and in 9 months I gained 100 pounds. It’s been 6 years I still have not been able to take it off. Don’t let this happen to you! This weight gain is as depressing to me as the original PFS was. I don’t post as often as I used to, frankly because everything seems so hopeless. Just a word to the wise my friend: don’t gain weight, you may never shed it! … Jim
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I can relate this to this. Dopamine binge eating to cope with anhedonia has to led to me gaining 10 pounds. It seems to be building up on my waist like I’m being feminized. Good times, what a wonderful drug for hair loss. I remember seeing @Toughluck24 mention this in an interview one time and I’d hope I would not get this symptom.
Thank you for the words of warning @JimWildman
I will keep in mind what you said. I’ve now seen several reports, and some before and after photos from people who have shared their experiences regarding body composition. It seems a common theme to loose muscle mass and put on fat around the areas which females typically do, as @tiredofthispostfin has said here too.
It seems absolutely crazy that this can happen.
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Update:
About one and a half months after stopping finasteride when I got my first side effects.
About three weeks since my crash.
Symptoms are still fluctuating a lot, even within the same day, but overall there have been some meaningful improvements.
What has improved…
Sleep
- Some nights I still only manage 2 to 3 hours of very broken sleep. Other nights are better. Last night was probably the best yet, with around 5 to 6 hours of still broken but improved sleep.
Penis, erections and sensitivity
- I am once again getting nighttime erections and waking up with them. They are pretty solid except for the glans which reaches about 30% firmness.
- Manual stimulation is inconsistent. Sometimes I cannot get an erection at all, other times I can but it takes a long time.
- Shaft sensitivity is about 25% of baseline and glans sensitivity around 50%.
- My penis only occasionally feels slightly cold just on a day to day as it hangs there.
- Loss of elasticity and the rubbery texture in the genitals weirdly fluctuates a lot. Sometimes very noticeable, other times about 70% normal.
Other bodily changes
- Less testicle, nipple and chest aches / tingling sensations for the last 2 days.
Body odour from the armpits is less intense, though still unpleasant and altered. - Scalp sensitivity has returned to normal from feeling about 80% reduced before.
- My body still feels wired or in a fight or flight state, but the intensity seems reduced or my awareness of bodily sensations is dulled which it seems like it is.
Libido
- Libido has increased from 0 to maybe 5%.
Mental symptoms
- Suicidal ideation has reduced in frequency and now mainly happens at night, but remains extremely intense when it does occur. I often find myself seriously planning it.
- Anhedonia is better at times, possibly 30% improved, but still returns in full force at times.
Digestion
- Digestion is slightly improved but still slow. I need to be careful not too eat too much at once or it feels like food is backing up and won’t move.
- Constipation has resolved, though stools are still small and off colour.
What has not changed…
- Heavy fatigue. It feels more than just sleep loss, I think from where my body just isnt functioning properly.
- Dry skin and dry eyes, with very reduced sweating.
- Loss of volume in scrotum, but I don’t think my actual testicles have shrunk.
- Tinnitus remains the same.
- Penis is still very soft and jelly-like when flaccid and feels weightless.
- Forehead sensitivity is around 25%.
- Sense of impending doom at night, close to when I’d go to bed.
What has worsened…
- I’ve noticed my skin has become slightly more stretchy.
- Dark eye circles and poor quality skin.
- Feeling dissociated
- Less coordination
- Harder to keep up mentally with what’s going on around me / in a situation
- Harder to take in and follow a conversation
Possible reasons for the improvements…
Most likely the improvements are simply due to time passing, but a few other factors may have contributed, though I cannot say for sure. I will say what I’ve been doing, just incase there’s something helpful there.
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I stopped drinking kefir and eating eggs. Before finasteride and any side effects started I consumed 6 eggs a day and a glass of kefir without fail. I love them but I’m almost certain they worsen my symptoms so I’ve stopped them now. The same with sardines, which I am convinced also made things worse.
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My diet has been simple and pretty repetitive. I’ve mainly just been eating: pork, courgette, cooked and cooled potatoes, plantain, bananas, kiwis, cucumbers, some broccoli, some spinach, some green beans, and butter. Plus eggs and kefir up until a few days a go. I’m going to try just having plain milk and see if I notice anything with that.
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I haven’t used any cleaning products in my house to avoid chemicals. I have swapped all my personal care items to really basic versions, and reduced my use of them. I looked up products which were suitable for people going through chemotherapy, or menopause, or were generally advertised as sensitive / for children etc. I also put my clothes on for a second wash with just water after the usual wash with detergent.
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Trying to stay social and see people when I can.
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Reducing stress where possible.
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Keeping busy when my energy allows, though some days I cant do anything and just lie on the sofa, only getting up for the toilet or getting a snack.
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Walking for atleast some activity. I hope to get back to having workouts again, but starting less intense. I think I’ve only had 1 workout since my crash so far. The fatigue and lack of motivation are hard to overcome for this. I use to workout every other day and loved it.
Anyway, I think I’ve covered pretty much everything I could do. Hopefully I continue to improve. Wishing all the best for everyone else too.
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Sleep is further improving. I’m so grateful for this.
Also less feeling of impending doom and suicidal thoughts at night.
This morning I got a full erection from watching porn without manual stimulation for the first time. Solid erection, just as strong as before fin except for the head which was a bit soft in comparison.
I feel my libido has increased to maybe 10%.
My penis feels less light and hollow throughout the day when flaccid. I don’t actively check my penis, I’ve just noticed this when holding it as I go to urinate.
Some improvements on the mental aspects of things too. Socialising is a little easier, slightly less emotional blunting, able to follow things a bit easier etc. However, even with this (slight) improvement my mental sides are still bad currently.
Overall however, everything seems to be on the up except for my facial skin, genital skin and fat gain. My forehead has very little sensation when I scratch it and when I pinch it its slow to go back, it’s lost its elasticity. This has gotten worse.
My facial skin is very dry and the texture looks worse.
My eyes are also very dry and have dark eye circles underneath. The skin has a loss of collagen / loss of fat. The skin has gotten thin and seems to sag a bit more.
My penis skin currently has bad elasticity and is still fluctuating as before. The rubbery feeling also fluctuates, but overall I think this aspect is a bit better.
I have been putting on quite a bit of fat and losing muscle. I’m not sure if this is directly PFS in that I have muscle wasting and fat accumulation due to feminisation, or because I use to be very muscly before this and obviously if you stop working out your muscles will start to shrink. It’s not been thatttt long since my crash though, about 3 and a half weeks, and I’ve only had 1 small workout in that time, whereas before I was having a workout every other day. I wouldn’t have thought I’d of lost this much muscle however. The fat gain could be to do with an increase in carbs and my body still getting used to this. I was basically keto before this but was eating lots of avocados and seeds which I’ve now cut out and basically replaced with other carbs from other fruits and veg which are lower in 5ari.
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My username feels relevant again. Although I’m not expecting to make a full recovery, that seems incredibly rare, but I am hopeful that things keep improving.
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the problem with pfs “recovery” is that you can easily be plunged back to square 1 if you mess up with wrong supplement, medication, hygiene product, food etc list goes on.
that is the scary part…
I’ve noticed that trend too from reading people’s accounts on here and Reddit.
Even if I reached 100% “recovery” I would never think of it as an actual recovery, and instead just being in remission. I would still maintain the careful lifestyle changes I’ve been making, out of fear of crashing again in the future.
I am currently trying too…
- Have as healthy diet as possible, whilst being mindful of potential triggers such as foods high in 5ari.
- Zero supplements
- Zero medications
- Minimal personal care products, and the ones that I do use having a very basic formula which seems to be free of potential endocrine disrupters.
- Cleaning products which are advertised as low toxic, free of nasty chemicals etc.
- Lowering stress
- Maintain good sleep hygiene
- Gradually building back exercise
- Keep engaging with life, hobbies and being social, whilst being mindful not to do too much and get burnt out.
- Try and keep a positive outlook.
- Currently I’m masturbating to try and maintain my erection strength, but I’m not allowing myself to orgasum. I am far too scared this will push me back. I have only orgasmed once since my crash and the following morning I became totally impotent, had zero libido and have other sexual issues appear. Most have improved a lot since then except libido which has had very minor improvements so far. But from having a completely lifeless cold penis which stopped working after that orgasm I am now very scared to ever do that again, now that my function in that area has mostly returned. Eventually I will again, but I’m going to give it more time. It’s only been 24 days since my crash, and about a month and 3/4 since I got my first side effects from finasteride and stopped taking it. I will probably wait atleast 2 more months before orgasming again. Although I am also kind of worried of the “flatline” people get from doing NoFap. If I start to notice my sexual function gets worse again I might orgasm and see if that improves things incase I’m “flatlining”.
Even with all this, maybe I will still crash, maybe I won’t be able to maintain all this at all times (I’m sure I won’t), but I will do what I can and try and not take any improvements for granted
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there is definitely a strong link between fapping and crashing, every time i do it my symptoms get way worse for like 2 days