Most stupid and unlucky guy in pfs history

Welcome to our community. Please fill in the following template as a way of introducing yourself, and helping others to understand your background and situation.

Where are you from (country) Poland

How did you find this forum (Google search – if so, what search terms? Via forum from Poland

What is your current age, height, weight? 25yo, 188cm,75kg

What specific drug did you use (finasteride, dutasteride, saw palmetto, isotretinoin/Accutane, fluoxetine, sertraline, citalopram, leuprorelin, etc…)Finasteride, Ketoconazole, Cistanche

What dose did you take (eg. 1 mg/day, 1 mg every other day etc.)? 0,5mg EOD

What condition was being treated with the drug? Hair Loss

For how long did you take the drug (weeks/months/years) 1 Year 3 Months

Date when you started the drug? September 2020

Date when you quit the drug? January 2022

Age when you quit? 24

How did you quit (cold turkey or taper off)? Cold Turkey

How long into your usage did you notice the onset of side effects? One Year

What side effects did you experience that have yet to resolve since discontinuation? Low Libido, ED, Anhedonia when i had sad moments

Check the boxes that apply. You can save your post first, then interactively check/uncheck the boxes by clicking on them. If your symptoms change, please update your list.

Sexual
[x] Loss of Libido / Sex Drive
[x ] Erectile Dysfunction
[x] Complete Impotence
[ ] Loss of Morning Erections
[x] Loss of Spontaneous Erections
[ ] Loss of Nocturnal Erections
[ ] Watery Ejaculate
[x] Reduced Ejaculate
[ ] Inability or Difficulty to Ejaculate / Orgasm
[x] Reduced Sperm Count / Motility

Mental
[x] Emotional Blunting / Emotionally Flat
[x] Difficulty Focusing / Concentrating
[x] Confusion
[x] Memory Loss / Forgetfulness
[x] Stumbling over Words / Losing Train of Thought
[x] Slurring of Speech
[x] Lack of Motivation / Feeling Passive / Complacency
[ ] Extreme Anxiety / Panic Attacks- I had it but now i have completely 0 emotions
[x] Severe Depression / Melancholy
[x] Suicidal Thoughts

Physical
[x] Penile Tissue Changes (narrowing, shrinkage, wrinkled)
[x] Penis curvature / rotation on axis
[x] Testicular Pain
[x] Testicular Shrinkage / Loss of Fullness
[x] Genital numbness / sensitivity decrease
[ ] Weight Gain- I lost lot of gain
[ ] Gynecomastia (male breasts)- when i was on FIN
[x] Muscle Wastage
[x] Muscle Weakness
[x] Joint Pain
[x] Dry / Dark Circles under eyes

Misc
[ ] Prostate pain
[x] Persistent Fatigue / Exhaustion
[x] Stomach Pains / Digestion Problems
[ ] Constipation / “Poo Pellets”
[x] Vision - Acuity Decrease / Blurriness
[x] Tinnitus (ringing or high pitched sound in ears)
[ ] Hearing loss
[ ] Increased hair loss
[ ] Frequent urination
[ ] Lowered body temperature

[x] Other (please explain)- DPDR, Veins leakage on penis, akatisia, lost of free will, negative schizophrenia symptoms and more

What (if any) treatments have you undertaken to recover from your side effects since discontinuation of the drug? Maca, Mucuna Pruriens, Cistanche, Hcg, Enclomiphene

If you have pre or post-drug blood tests, what hormonal changes have you encountered since discontinuing the drug (please post your test results in the “Blood Tests” section and link to them in your post)?

Anything not listed in the above questions you’d like to share about your experience?

Tell us your story, in your own words, about your usage and side effects experienced while on/off the drug.

Hey. I’ve been checking out your site for a long time reading various horror stories, unfortunately the same thing happened to me and through my own fault… When I started finasteride I didn’t have major symptoms maybe dry eye problems and lower libido which didn’t bother me because I was hypersexual. I noticed my first more serious symptoms last August however I didn’t connect it to finasteride- When I was on vacation in Croatia I didn’t feel euphoric like I used to, I also started having relationship problems and neglected my girlfriend. When we broke up in September I just didn’t feel anything… but I blamed it on depression because I had very heavy family problems that year and frequent arguments with my father. My libido has been very lower since then probably sometime in October since I had a week or two off finasteride then and I stopped having spontaneous erections and thought less often about sex. At one point in January I just couldn’t get it up when I wanted to masturbate. I quit the drug right then and waited for the whole situation to get better. The situation was not likely to improve. I started having panic attacks and crying attacks. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I became depressed. I went to an endocrinologist and a urologist only got cialis. However, after 3 months I didn’t get over it so I started trying to help myself and I made an even bigger mistake in my life than finasteride… I did blood tests and it came out that I had low free testosterone, I thought it was to blame so I looked for ways to increase it, I heard about Cistanche and purchased it. I took it for about 3 weeks and it completely destroyed my life and made any existence impossible, unfortunately I didn’t know that it was a strong 5ari type 1 and light type 2. My life then became a disaster. I remember during the first 3 months of PFS I realized how much I loved my ex-girlfriend and we resumed contact, it was a beautiful time and there was a great feeling of love between us. I even got erections from hugging her, I missed her and making her happy gave me a lot of joy. In fact, it was a time when I had a very low libido but I responded to intimate touch and had feelings. However, after cistanche… at some point I started to suffer from terrible insomnia, for the first 2 months after the crash I slept half an hour to two hours max. I lost feelings, my penis got damaged, my ejaculate started to flow out, I lost my memory, I started to feel derealization and depersonalization, I can’t focus on anything since then and I lost my job and stopped going to college. All this was due to a stupid mistake I didn’t know about. Since then I have been living in an alternate reality as a zombie with a damaged penis, brain and all. I can’t even watch movies. I can’t clean my room because I have an empty head and few thoughts, since I took mirtazapine for sleep I have a problem with free will and do stupid things. I remember smoking cigarettes for 3 weeks after mirtazapine. Now I am bedridden and probably suffer from akathisia. I can’t do anything, even when I play I just lost logical thinking and planning my movements, I’m completely blank, I can’t even cry, I don’t know what time it is, etc. When I wake up I have a flurry of negative thoughts about how it’s all my fault. My dreams are gray and emotionless. I feel like someone has locked me in a can and performed a lobotomy on me. I haven’t felt happiness or rest since March. My brain is in overdrive mode. I don’t even feel normal fatigue anymore. It is impossible to even talk to me I have a lack of ideas for my life and when I go out on the street I feel terribly unreal. I even forgot who I was before and what it was like to live. I have huge memory problems and symptoms of dementia. The truth is that I am not able to survive every single day let alone agonize over this condition for the rest of my life. I don’t know how much I will survive. I feel like I have already lost my whole life, I have loved ones with me but I feel lonely. I have lost the opportunity to put my life together. I fell in love with someone again and then after a stupid herb my life became hell. With low libido and erectile problems I could live but in such a state every day is a challenge bigger than climbing mount everest. I am aware that I am a very serious case and will never be healthy again. I will have no family, no desires, no emotions. Realizing this recently cost me a lot, I realized that I don’t know who I really am, I’m not in control of myself, I don’t care about my loved ones. It kills me every day. Sometimes I just lie in bed all day with this pain but I don’t even scream because I can’t get upset just nothing… emptiness. I can’t forgive myself and probably my life will end in suicide because without improvement I won’t be able to live like this anymore. I love this girl she loves me too and I just can’t do what I would like to do. I’m sorry and it’s all because of stupid herb.

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Hey there @ILikeTrains97,

Welcome to the forum, I’m sorry to hear you’re in this awful situation and thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope that in time you will still see some improvements and feel a little bit better, but for now I just want to urge you to stay strong and to please not consider ending your life.

From your story it reads as if you are blaming yourself a lot for this situation. I don’t think that’s very fair… Because, although patients have gotten into this situation because they took one of these substances willingly, the risks of doing so are clearly not being recognized, understood and/or communicated well enough for consumers to make well-informed decisions. It’s not our fault that literally every safety-net that is supposed to protect us from harm from any of these substances (whether they are herbs or manufactured drugs) has failed.

I think many people recognize the idea that they ‘didn’t mind some libido loss’ if it would come back after they stop taking it. I also thought I was kind of ‘hypersexual’ and I couldn’t imagine going from that to zero libido pretty much chronically because I took a few pills. It’s insane that this kind of stuff can be sold on every block when there are this kind of health risks involved. Not to mention all the symptoms that are much worse than the sexual ones.

Please don’t be so hard on yourself to blame yourself.

In any case, welcome to the forum and nice to meet you, although I wish the circumstances were different.

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Self-reporting template - ONLY USE FOR FUTURE POSTS TO REPORT ANY TRIALS OF TREATMENTS, NOT YOUR INITIAL MEMBER STORY

  1. Name of the therapy/substance: Enclomiphene
    • Dosage:12,6mg
    • How often you took it: EOD
  2. Status
    • Still using [x]
    • Stopped with no lasting change to initial symptoms [ ]
    • Stopped with persistent change to symptoms [ ]
  3. Duration of use: Days [ ] Months [ ] Years [ ]
  4. Response when you started:
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [x] Little better erections and thats it. My dick is still ruberry and full of veins.
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
  5. Current response (if you’re still using the therapy/substance) OR Response in the time before you stopped the treatment
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [ ]
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
  6. Lasting changes to initial symptoms after cessation (if you have stopped for more than 3 weeks)
    • Greatly improved [ ]
    • Slightly improved [ ]
    • Stayed the same [ ]
    • Slightly worsened [ ]
    • Greatly worsened [ ]
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My drug dealer (“doctor”) told me the sexual side effects were mostly a psychological thing and that “when people go looking for side effects they imagine their libido is slightly lower”

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I was told a very similar thing. My doctor said “that side effects only happen to people who’ve taken the drug for a very long time and that they would go away after you quit the drug”. Neither of those statements were true.

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I was in liveable state before cistanche i could had sex and romantic thoughts. Now empty

We all underestimate that, there are not only the active ingredients from the pharma cartel laboratories but also extremely hard plant drugs. Deadly like aconite, hallucinogenic like mescaline, narcotic like opium. Therefore the whole handling with plant drugs is not completely harmless. But in desperation over the pfs shit so many cling to every substance on any protocol or anyone has tried. It’s understandable if you are so destroyed by the malicious deception of the dangerous pharmaceutical cartel in your personality and as a man, forever. Desperately grasping at straws.

I’m just incredibly sorry for you that you reacted so bad to a substance that was supposed to help you

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It won’t be easy but you are young and will get better.

Not the stupidest (or unluckiest) I had eight to ten years of livable, moderate pfs like you had pre cistanche, then fucked it with other 5aris and sloppy lifestyle.

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,“Most stupid and unlucky guy in pfs history.”

I feel like that too.

Took finasteride without checking the internet the doctor gave me just to try. Before I had denied it already and he said than better not. Why he gave it to me, why I took it with me. I think I have been the most stupid guy in PFS history.

At least I throated the euthanasia poison out of an emotional reaction thought my relationship was over and doing some good for my prostate.

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I have only fucking 25 years old. I had ambitions i had a dreams i had a lovely girl. I really hurt her without knowing it was because of finasteride. I just stopped being interested in her. I had really bad childhood. My mother died when i was 6yo. My dad had he was an alcoholic and had bipolar depression. My brother used to abuse me when I was a child. All I had was this lovely lovely girl I hurt so much. I love her very much, I would like to be a support for her, but I can’t anymore. We met when I was 18. We have traveled a little bit of the world and my whole country. It was with her that I spent the best times in my life. It is a pity that nothing good awaits me anymore. I am sorry for those words. It just feels like I’m dead, I feel dark all the time, and I remember that I still exist even though I feel nothing, nothing, zero. I’d like to get out of this. I know it is impossible because I am not a simple incident. I have more than just PFS. I really loved life and ehhh that was the feeling when you heard the first bird songs in spring. I drank 3 beers unnecessarily but I just can’t take it anymore. Hopefully future research will help find a cure.

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Sad, negligent, and criminal this whole business. My doctor told me this week ‘it’s time to get you to a psychiatrist’. Useless coont.

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You may feel this to be true, but with the active efforts going into researching the condition and general advancements in medicine you can’t say this for certain. In fact there is genuine hope. What the PFS Network is doing is empirical proof of that. Stay stong.

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One of the best things giving me hope is how some of us experience short bouts of recovery. Even though I personally never have experienced this it still gives me hope there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I’ve often thought we had lost something, like if someone loses a limb they will never get it back, but the temporary recoveries some of us experience tells us we might be able to recover somehow.

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I decided to end it. I cant control myself anymore. Its a nightmare. I did to many mistakes. I feel only pain even if i sleep.

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Please, whatever you do, do not do this. Even if you feel that it is unbearable and you just can’t go on, at least give yourself a little time as there is no going back from a decision such as this and your life is worth so much more than throwing it all in for the suffering of this moment. Your life is immeasurably valuable and you are needed.

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Please give it more time and don’t do that. I struggle with these thoughts as well. Please fight them. Your life has tremendous value. Don’t do it

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Listen here @ILikeTrains97 don’t even think about it . I’ve spoken to a few guys over the years who have been in a desperate state exactly like you.

Every minute of every day seems like an eternity of terror, intent on ending it. I was in close contact with one guy on a daily basis. He came out the other side and literally has his life back. They were very dark days, he was inconsolable that was 3 years ago. He appears to be firing on all cylinders now…

Like many who recover they hang around for a little while then just get on with their lives. I also know others who have improved and simply stopped posting. So there is a lot to be hopeful for. Dig deep and wait it out the odds are on your side.

Stay away from stress and do things to distract the mind. Don’t take any supps or other meds to try to improve things The risks are too high the ones who are still here are generally the ones who had repeated exposure to 5 aris (like me) or who fucked around with supps and other shit in a bid to improve things.

Stay strong you’ll get through this. There are some sterling guys on here who are willing you on and rooting for you.

You’ll make it with this behind you life will be a breeze and you have years ahead of you.

God bless and stay safe

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Sadly we have both had repeated exposure to 5aris

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Some with repeated use also get better it takes more time I had good periods even after taking fin on and off for 15 years I just wasn’t aware of my enemy until much later by which time I’d had so much exposure. I still haven’t given up and believe I will heal. Checking out is not the answer. I think about jt every day but know its becauae of the fucked up neuroateriods levels and that it is not rational. With each beat of my heart I remain part of this world. That’ goes for all of us.

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Who was the guy you were in touch with?