I need to be away from this for a while

Hey friends,

I noticed lately that I talk too much about PFS. It’s becoming an obsession for me and it’s distracting me from times when I should be focused on other people and having fun. I can never truly escape it, but I need to play its role down in my life. I am becoming the person that talks about himself. I am destroying friendships, not something that I have much of to begin with and it’s making me super anxious and worried about every social interaction. I’m a little bit addicted to this forum and browse it way too much.

Last saturday I had a meeting with an old friend, one of my best friends in life whom I hadn’t seen in a while. We had some good times but at some point I told him about my PFS struggles and how it’s been a hardship throughout this lockdown, which was already a hardship in and of itself. I was just trying to vent my life’s problems to someone I trust, I guess.
But I didn’t realize I maybe chose the wrong setting or went on and on about it. He’s not been responding to my messages since, and maybe I am overly worried about nothing and he’s just busy. But I am also scared that I am pushing my loved ones away. I am already a sensitive person with a history of abandonment issues, abuse and depression and I cannot handle more loneliness on top of what I already experienced.

In any case I’m leaving this community for a while. I need to act on getting this looming shadow over my head to shrink a little bit, in order to be a better more positive person.

In light of this, I have been going back-and-forth with the idea of joining in the PFS-video story thing, but I constantly regret it whenever I tell someone about it. I just don’t have the strength of character to own this.

Please let me know if research has started and funding is necessary, until that time I need some time off to make something of my life without spreading the damage.

I wish you all a strong recovery soon,

Take care

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Good luck man. Take a breather and sort your thinking out. Be well

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Good luck @Wintermoon with regards your friend it’s not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up. Almost everyone around me has done the same. They said they wanted to talk and would be here for me no matter what. It has been the opposite in every case. People with ME were gaslighted left right and centre in the 90s for the same reasons. Diseases that aren’t medically recognised seem to play out this way. Don’t blame yourself walk tall.

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