Honestly, I just cant anymore. The certain end is coming

24 M, PSSD sufferer, after 1.5 month on meds.

I just cant stand this shit anymore. This is a bad taste joke. I’m done. I don’t give me more than 2 years of life if its going to be thist way. NO FUCKING WAY.

I just passed the 1 year mark, and I was in pure hell for the first 3 months. Completelly unabled, turned off, in every damn aspect of my living, being it sexually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This shit is fucking disgusting.

After that, and for the last 9 months I’ve been trying to be healthy and active in every damn aspect of my life. No fucking results. The maximum it given me was sleep back to 8hrs per night (was 1hr maximum) and some facility to gain an erection.

BUT WHAT FUCKING EVER??? Should I be still fooling myself and being optimistic to have barely progressed??? Like, WOOOOOW now i’m still limp but can hold erections for 3 minutes at 24 yeears old!!!1 Fuck this shit, this isn’t even 10% for the minimum required for my age. And still, with 30-ish symptoms from this shit and every fucking one in my life making jokes (like doctor did), or saying its psychological and I’m going mad.

There A LOT FUCKING MORE TO TELL YOU GUYS. A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.

But that tiny piece of venting is already enough to rationally want this fucking joke to end.

After a time being optimistic, I just cant stand it anymore. I have no doubts I will kill myself soon enough. No fucking shadow of a doubt. FUCK THIS STUPID WORLD

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All I can say is that I was almost completely incapacitated for almost two years. Unable to have sex, extreme anxiety, fatigue, brain fog. I managed to push through and am now at a point where I enjoy many elements of my life, work in finance in a super competitive role, have a serious girlfriend and am doing well mentally and physically. I have a feeling that you’ll get there as well. Don’t get me wrong, I still have issues but am generally happy. Don’t throw your life away.

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what did you do to get there? please i need an escape

@gomesemog urgent message - are you really sure that bupoprion caused your pssri like symptoms?

I’ve seen posts in reddit about wellbutrin causing post ssri sex dysfunction. But not many.

Not quite sure. I took amitriptyline (a TCA) for 2 months, at the last 10 days I added Bupropion to the mix to help me quit smoking. After a week of use I developed PSSD from night to day. Was perfectly fine the other day.

So I highly suspect it was my main fucker. Anyways, it could be amitriptyline or both together. IMO absolutely no class of drugs are safe, since we see PSSD from literally any kind of psych medication (not only SSRIs)

I think amitriptyline! It’s reported!

There are some reports from PSSD caused by Bupropion too. There’s really no way to know what specifically caused my PSSD, unfortunately. But yeah I can be blaming the wrong one, we just will never know

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Bupropion acts on dopamine, rather than serotonin. In what ways can a dopamine boost potentially cause PFS/PSSD symptoms? Anyone have any ideas?

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I don’t really think it has anything to do with boosting or reducing dopamine/sertonin alone. Those substances we throw in our bodies exogenously (and mainly synthetically) will no doubts have widespread circumstances on our bodies, no matter what. And well, we are living proofs of that.

The body functions are a very very complex balance, anything changing that have the potential to fuck the out of you and your functioning.

Honestly, I’m new to this compared to old members (been ill for not much more than a yer), but believe me, I have got LOTS and LOTS of knowledge in the meanwhile, also LOTS of forum readings. Not enough to surely know what to do (duh), but enough to realize that this is not about this or that individually, although that’s the very same approach that we have here for years and do not see people getting better by it. No shadows of doubts, really. It’s not related to anything special, sadly enough.

I’m pretty sure it’s systemic and then we can’t keep trying to solve one single problem and think it will be solved (we here are acting just like the useless western medicine). That’s not a coincidence that those who seems to be cured are people who fought this illness from every side, which requires a stupid amount of will and commitment. It’s a supernatural duty to have.

There’s absolutely no silver bullet, as there is not for baldness/depression/anxiety/etc. That’s life. And it sucks

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Bupropion is also a pretty strong anticholinergic agent of the nicotinic receptor.

So it’s not like it’s 100% only interacts with dopamine (DAT) and Norepinephrine (NET).

As @gomesemog said, it’s a very complex system and we’d be fooling ourself if we’d think even the best scientists know more than a fraction of the entire system.

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where can I read your story ,friend

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Hey guys.

I need support. The one you have. Could be positive stories, cure testimonies, or just kind words.
Am in really bad shape lately, the suffering is out of this world. I’ve already paid my sins with this condition, no doubts.

I need support, again. Please!

here’s how I cope witht his.

I tell myself I’m burdened with this for a reason, and its up to me to figure out why and how.

in the past ive always let psychological damage affect me. i would constantly push away loved ones. id put up emotional barriers, and make it hard to connect with anyone, including my own immediate family and girls i date. most of my life has been very lonely, and PFS has taken that loneliness to another level.

now i have all these neurological sides and in order to make progress in life, i have to consciously make decisions that have been hard for me to make when it comes to opening up and giving friendship to others.

i have to WILL myself to create a beautiful life, even if its against the current, up the steepest mountain top. because the lesson ive recently learned, is that at the end of the day, every single day, we make conscious choices. i tell myself that once i heal myself internally, the therapeutics for PFS will be available. and once im back to normal, ill have an advantage over the average person when it comes to overcoming difficulties in life.

our will and our conscious choice can help us transcend above the pain.

figure out your why. then get ready to battle, soldier

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@gomesemog I re read this one regularly it brings me back in to focus:

Once you choose hope anything is possible.

Some people are walking around with full use of their arms and legs and they’re more paralysed than I am.

The great Christopher Reeve.

We should never give up no matter how severe. Push and try to live as best as we can. See every day is a gift instead of more suffering.
Bring a light to someone else’s day even if you can’t feel positive emotions yourself. The selfless gestures/actions we can perform will cost nothing yet will never be forgotten. Making a difference to people’s lives is a rare commodity in today’s society. Everyone can still have a role to play in life.

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I believe I have PFS for over 3-4 years now. Just like you I thought that there was no hope and no reason to continue living at all. After a year I became stabler and was in a better position than before. Sure the side will unfortunately stay until we find a cure, but I’ll always try to see things in a positive way and have hope.

I try to find distraction in simple
Things, like going out with friends, studying, going for a walk, sports, etc… so far it worked out for me mentally I’ve been feeling better I don’t have suicidal thoughts anymore and I am in a better state then at the beginning of PFS.

Whatever you do please don’t lose hope you can always message me if you need someone to talk to. I want to close my message with this quote, I thought it would fit the situation where we’re in perfectly.

“He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all.”

  • Eleanor Roosevelt
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I think the best reason to keep going is that for every single one of us, no matter what we did before PFS, our lives are worth far more than dying in some obscure corner of the internet.

There is plenty of reason for hope just around the corner. This is only temporary and you have a lot more life left to live.

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